Many times we get caught up in all the excitement of somebody paying attention to us & I don't know about you, but I use to get soooo zoned that I'd forget to ask things like:
3) Are you currently in a relationship?
4) Do you have any children? (Ages, live at home?)
5) Can you send me a face picture of your left hand pinky on the tip of your nose? (Or some other specific pose that would never be common and is clean.)
Later in life, after being cat fished... dating a married lady who forgot to tell me about her 22yr old daughter & husband that still lived in her house, I started to realize people hide crap because they feel or know that some things are unacceptable but maybe if you just got to know them first... I understand that the inner person is just as valuable as the flesh that's wrapped around it, however if you start out on an intentional mislead or lie... how can you ever really trust them from that point forward?
At this point I decided to take the love for my career into the cyber world and apply Security measures to my on-line dating life. You would be amazed at how many people hide things intentionally, that they know would be unacceptable to me because it's in my profile. So to the above I added a new #1
1) Have you read and understand my profile?
2) Do you have any questions concerning my profile?
I understand if all you want is to fuck, a profile can seem like a waste of time. Those who want something real, however start with the basics. Simple fact: If you want quality, you need it to be the quality you are seeking. If they are too lazy to read your profile, they are trying to lure you into something selfish. What exactly? *rubs head* Magic ball says "future unclear" 😂 Taking time to write a short but detailed profile gives a bases for Security checks. While texting in app, you can ask questions that hinge on their profile.
Then comes steady progression... anybody wanting your real name and phone number within a week or two: SCAM ALERT! HACKER ALERT! STALKER ALERT! Do not give it out, do not volunteer it. There is a reason you use a screen name, keep using it till the moment you meet. Now I'm not saying they are scammers/hackers/ or stalkers but esh, that screams desperation to me. Reason people want your real name is so they can feel connected and trusted... um... fuck that! Don't trust easy, don't put your heart on the line yet.
I rarely drag things out for months but i do like steady progression while asking the same questions as before, in different ways. If your chuckling and shaking your head, my past history: Female age 27, only knew her 2 weeks and set up a date night. Upon meeting I felt "off" but she was declaring how we seemed to "just click". Dinner started out with laughter and puns right up to the point I was telling a story about my oldest daughter and she interrupted me to ask "Oh, you mean (my daughters real name)"... um... I don't give out my children's real name until I REALLY feel safe with a person. Upon polite inquiry, with a joking sense of humor, I find I'm dating my 1st fang banging stalker! Oh yes, she was a talented hacker, had chased my fake IP address to try to hack my PC, used my phone number to find my real name, used my real name to do a history/background check on me, found out almost everything about me... so yeah... upgraded Security measures 3.0!
I now use a (gamers) communications app, when/if I go outside Cage. (Feel free to ask for the app name via mail). I use a junk email account through google, with all fake information. The app I use doesn't require a valid name, location, or phone number. Everything I want to do, I can do there, safely! So progressions is required
So now question 1 & 2 are important in the beginning. 3 & 4 come into play within the week & 5 dosen't happen until week 2... if they get that far. Think about it.... those first couple weeks are talking about likes, dislikes, soft & hard limits, sex, everything that keeps that new possible relationship buzz going! However while you're doing this and slowly investing information do NOT invest your heart just yet. It's only been a week, working on the second! I do NOT budge from Cage until week two. Use the mail, use the bond, have fun with the 1min voice chat, Do NOT share body pics yet... it'll be ok. Quality waits. On both sides. If they want to see a pic of you, it should be on your profile. If they want to see a pic of your tits, pussy, ass, or cock... tell them it's too soon. If they persist, simply say no. If they continue take a picture of the 3 stoogies, cat picture, donkey picture, rooster picture. SEND! 😂😂
Stand your ground because those who persist, push and rush are not SAFE, some are not SANE, and some will not care if you CONSENT. Test these things out so when week two does come you can ask them to download the communications app and start into voice chatting, picture sharing and this is where #5 come into play. If they wont send you a specific pose picture... they are hiding something. Accept nothing less than what you requested. Then ask for a clothed body shot (if that matters to you). After that is done, have fun kinksters but still.. guard your heart.
Personally I never recommend a meet up until week 3 - 5, wherein everything seems on the up & up. Upon setting up the day & time, I tell them to make sure to bring your drivers ID. No excuse is acceptable to continue the date if they won't. Ladies, make him come to you. Men are less apt to be kidnapped, sold in the skin trade, raped, or killed. Set the date location at or outside 30 min driving range of your home or home town at a public dinning / coffee / tea spot during busy hours. I hate to wait but there is a reason you want this. Insist on going inside, even if you buy your own food/drinks. When you meet:
They must meet you at the entrance proximity. This is a hard limit. You want witnesses!
After greetings, ask for the driver's license & where they parked their vehicle. Make a mental note of its location because if it's in back or out of plan sight, you do not approach their vehicle for any reason. It may be innocent, parking is always a pain during busy hours.
Take a phone pic of their drivers license with their consent, and send that picture to someone you know will keep it secret & check up on you in 1hr, 3hrs, 5hrs, 1am. And by noon the next day. Ladies, you do not give your ID until you have sent that pic!!
If they refuse to consent, be polite but the date is over. Return to your vehicle and go to another restaurant immediately. Why? If they follow, they will usually become impatient and leave, plus you can call a friend to come escort you home.
During the date make eye contact. Even if its indirect eye contact. Ask about their relationship status again & pay attention to those eyes!
A look upward is usually recovering memory, look down or away is usually a lie (unless talking about personal tragedy), eye to eye contact is usually the full truth.
Watch their body language. A man with arms tight to the body or crossed is defensive, blocking, intimidation. Legs bouncing, anxious (or needs to pee)... these are bad signs in a dom. Leaning on the table, looking up through the brow is seduction with that quirky smile. It says they like what they see. Arms open, hands comfortable, means they are calm & relaxed. Guys: Smile for God's sake! Easy eyes, open up and show you are comfortable in your skin because this is what all women should be looking for. Take "couples selfies" and send to the same friend. Don't lie about what you are doing. Safety first!
Exiting: stop at the entrance desk and make a point to say bye to the person behind the register & make sure he is there! Why? Cameras! There is always one behind the register. Plus, a sweet Bye, makes you memorable. If you don't heed my advise about the car location and decide you can trust them, awesome! One more step:
Have them point out their vehicle: take a picture from a distance... do NOT walk close to Van's, walk behind the man... let them "lead the way." A confident male will never need to touch you to guide you, nor will an honest man want to follow you to their vehicle... follow you, yes... mmmm that ass! BUT Not to their vehicle. Have them go unlock the door of the vehicle (verifying its really theirs) then as you get closer, take a picture of the license plate & send that to the same friend.
I recommend following them or they, you, to your next destination if y'all have one and it should never be the hotel on the first date. No, it's not about chivalry or morals... fucking Casper isn't worth it. From all the safety precaution, most skin traders, rapist, kidnappers, etc will no longer harm you, however a quick fuck, hell yeah. Is that what you're wanting? So stop for a moment and ask yourself: Subs: What do you think you're worth?
Are you worth being kept safe & feeling safe?
Are you worth a few pictures?
Are you worth time and effort?
Doms: What worth do you think you are?
Do you respect hard limits?
Is your potential Sub worth providing them a safe method of getting to know you?
Can you wait a short time before *grabs you by the throat* dominating?
Shouldn't you hold a standard that is equal to the above or set one that is superior in saftey?
... ... ...
Please feel free to ask my ^AngelBunny^: all that I insisted on, so she'd know she was safe. Ask her if its stopped at any point thus far. Use the comment section below. She'll most likely be happy to reply.
Remember girls, you may be dating a dick... safety first. Put on protection before mounting up!
Stay safe, stay sane, keep it consensual.
