Things are so different with my Master.
We've only been an M/s couple for a few months.
The "play" relationship that lasted almost a year didn't have the depth I have with my Master already.
The communication is incredible. He is always in contact and when he isn't I know why or for how long. My trust and comfort in him is like I would give to a 24/7 Master.
My submission and servitude was given so easy. My bond to him was immediate, even before we decided on a dynamic.
Now 3 months in and I'm having those deeper feelings that I always tried to reserve for the one whom I would be 24/7 with. I knew I would eventually love him but this soon is kind of surprising for me. I cared for him immediately, no doubt about that.
I just realized last night how deep my feelings really go.
We experienced playing with our new friend, he had a fantasy fulfilled, he allowed me the pleasure to play with a woman, and I got to watch him fuck her. I loved every moment of it and so did he. So with all that, the bond I felt with him just grew deeper, causing the deeper emotions to show. No jealousy, far from it, in fact I'm anxious to play with her again but there is an issue we have to work out with her first.
As the day went on, after we played with her, later in the evening, while at the meeting I went to, I started feeling this empty sad feeling. Cried when I got home. The high I was feeling from the play was crashing. My endorphins and hormones lowered a little too fast because of the reality I had to deal with.
When Master plays with me we always cuddle and talk. And I have had the pleasure of him spending the night. Yesterday there was no time for cuddling and talking. We talked a bit after she left, kissed and hugged. Then we went our separate ways.
I found myself dealing with a different type of subdrop. One that I've never experienced before. I'm an experienced older submissive and yet I didn't see it right away. It hit me suddenly and when I realized what it was I knew how to deal with it.
Master said that he had wanted the cuddling and talking too. So it didn't just affect me, he missed the bond we share after play as well.
But this hasn't deterred us. When she has done as we asked we will continue playing with her. She will join us now and again, she will be with just me when Master is away for work. So we will continue with our plans, it's just now we know that I need, we need, the aftercare.
This just goes to show that we continue learning about ourselves, and that we grow with each relationship we form.
