The Isolation Diaries

Good day fair folk of the cage.  

By virtue of the fact you are reading this I can only assume that you have survived another night in this hellscape we now call home.  Well done.

i was woken the morning by my son chapping the door to let us know that my dog had shat on the carpet.  With no small amount of trepidation I went down stairs, preparing myself to face down the king of jobbies.  

for those unaware the king of jobbies rules over the empire of shit referenced in the nine inch nails classic Hurt.  He will often just send out his minions to spread the stench throughout the lands.  However, on very special occasions, like your dog’s birthday, he will venture forth himself to grace your rug with his imposingly feculant presence.

so before i entered the front room I took a deep breathe to prevent any gag reflex.  Thankfull his royal highness was not in attendance, the dog had just been sick after over endulging on some biscuits somebody had left lying on the worktop.

in other news The Donald has suspended us contributionss to the WHO.  Peter Townsend is reported to be very upset as the were planning a world tour after all this died down.

anyways til next time stay safe.

and always double tap.

So a wee break from the norm, was just thinking about years ago me and my pals used to go to a pub quiz every week.  Every week we would chose a different team name.

i think the best one we had was “if yer maw wisnae yer maw wid ye?”

now I understand many will not understand this question but my answer to it is definitely no.

anyways 

that is all for today, I need to go and scoop what left of my old neighbour Jean off of the car tread.

till next time stay safe.

Easter weekend is over and hopefully we all survived the 2nd comming of zombie Jesus.  He might have died for our sins but he came back for our brains.

Over the weekend events have transpired which just confirmed that even in the midst of a global pandemic, Tories will invariably still Tory. I kinda want to keep this politics free, but incase you are unaware, apparently 4 major suppliers of ppe kit who would normally supply nhs Scotland and care services up here have been told to only supply NHS England.   if this story is true it is one of the best arguments for Independence, hard to defend plans to turn a whole nation into a zombie infested wasteland.

In local news, the number of infected round about here seems to be dropping.  Unsure of the cause but I will keep you all posted.

till next time, stay safe and just survive somehow.

Happy Easter everyone, where ever you are I hope that you are able to stave off the hordes of infected that threaten our very existence.

We are holding up quite well here, however as previously mentioned I ran out of my anti-anxiety pills, which... has had an unexpected results.

Just incase you are unaware anti-anxiety medication can stop your ability to come, although not your drive. I have been unable to shoot my bolt in about 6 months, despite Getting to the edge.  

So the other day I was having a wee afternoon nap after a hard days fighting off the infected and the ignorant.  Next thing I know I wake up covered in...what seemed like 6 months worth of, gentleman’s spendings.  

that’s right folks, at the age of 37 I had a wet dream, and woke up in quite an intense orgasam.  I didn’t realise this happened to folks older than 15.

Anyways sorry to take a bit of a diversion from my usual updates from the frontlines.  Just thought I’d do a bit of overshare.  Let’s be honest everyone loves a bit of overshare.

till next time, stay safe.

So the lockdown has been extended, this is not a surprise.  Apartently people fear boredom more than becoming a flesh eating infected.

Its also Easter weekend, and in true Easter fashion Boris has returned to us, all be it 3 days too early.  I have heard rumblings of some sort of cult of BoJo starting up, praising his resurrection as a miracle. 

in the meantime, on the home front, I’m working again...on a Saturday...I suppose I wouldn’t be doing anything else really.  Not even got any Easter eggs.

anyways, till next time, stay safe and save us Zombie Jesus.

So bit of a shaker start to the day where we had hordes of infected trying to batter down the door and calling through to shout abuse at me for something I really have no clue about. 

After unloading a few rounds into them it began to quieten down.

In between calls I’ve had a look at some other blogs, it appears mine is one of the few that really dosn’t have any BDSM content.  Truth is I don’t have anything Bdsm to write about just now, unless you want to read about me wanking over some vids on xnxx.com.

I think I just enjoy writing about how the days been hopefully giving folks a wee chuckle along the way.  Besides we all need to learn how to survive in the wasteland after this is all over.

anyways, 

till next time, stay safe, and excellent to one another.

Ok so now made it to day 22, never thought we’d get this far.  Was convinced we would get over run by the infected by now.

Thankfully we have not wound up zombie chow yet and every fresh day takes us closer to the end.  

Spent most of last night checking the defences to ensure that the family stay safe.

Despite all the positivity, it has been 4 days since I ran out of my “don’t got mental” pills due to a hold up with the script.

  Beginning to feel a little stressed and on edge due to this.  Hopefully it won’t be much longer and I’ll be able to recapture my sanity.

Anyways,

till next time, stay safe and hold in there.

So heading into day 21 we find out that we in the UK might be the first country to have a zombie PM, which is kind of exciting for a horror geek like myself.  although I do hope he makes a full recovery, the thought of seeing big BoJo crack open Micheal Goves skull open and scoop out his brains live on sky new is certainly getting me through the day.

Closer to home, I have been successfully stocked up with the essentials and as I was logging onto my system to help save the world computer said no.

The only sensible option is that the computer has turned against me.  Where once I had a trusted ally in the apocalypse, I now have a hated enemy.  Whatever I have done to cause offence is a mystery to me, hopefully by days end I can win it back over.

Till next time my friends, stay safe and trust yourself...not your computer.

So I’m now heading into day 20 of lockdown, no social interaction with anyone outside of the house.  Only going out to patrol the area with the dog and make sure it’s clear of infected 

We have also started running low on the essentials; Irn-Bru, Slice sausage and Mothers Pride.

i have also ran out of my anti-anxiety pills and they won’t be in for a few days.

I will need to do a supply run to Tesco at some point, hopefully the Stim-enhanced security will let me in the door without too much bloodshed.

This however will need to wait until after work, in the mean time I will have to endure.

Stay Safe and don’t go mental.

Last night was pretty rough, there was a lot of infected out.  All I could hear was them coughing on each other and dancing to bits n pieces.  All I could think was, this is how it all ends...to the sounds of GBX and a bag full of eccies.

To make matters worse I have ran out of my anti-anxiety pills.  Chemist says it’ll take a week to get them past the blockade.  So in the next couple of days I fully expect to have some kind of panic attack...on the plus side I might be able come when I wank for the first time in 4 months.  

Every cloud has a silver lining and remember hope is important.