How is it despite working on the important things in life that our minds do not allow us a reprieve?
Yesterday, I had a very productive day and brought a lot of positivity into my life. I brought out my trumpet which I haven't played since high school and tried to work through some scales. I'm super rusty but at least there is still some muscle memory that I have in place. I did all sorts of little things I enjoy, dancing and trying to learn a new martial art. Really though they were all half assed attempts but I was doing something. Taking action and being AWESOME!
Today is a little bit different, and yet exactly the same. I was cleaning up after my breakfast doing my dishes, which I normally leave to do right before I make dinner. Progress! I had just finished and was mixing up some water for my plant and I was overwhelmed with the thought "I am useless." While standing in my kitchen doing the things I needed to be successful and survive. For no DAMN reason...
My mind is not my friend and we have never gotten along. I just wish I could learn to shut up sometimes and let life be. I'm fortunate that I didn't slip much farther down that path but why does it have to rear its ugly head in the first place? Why can't I just be happy with who I am?
I have never been diagnosed with any mental disorders, but the mind can be a struggle and a half. So to those out there struggling, we all have to deal with some demon that plagues our lives. Be kind to one another, and remember to laugh when you have the opportunity.