Hello Cage friends,
Today the topic is power. What power do you hold as a dominant? What power do you have and how does it exhibit within your relationships?
We all have moments of weakness and doubt. We are held in check by fear sometimes and can wallow in the negativity that stems from that.
Despite all of that though we have the power to ultimately make choices. We make choices within ourselves and we make choices for others around us.
Each moment holds the power of the consequences of our actions. In my short life I have witnessed the power of my actions, and seen the harm and destruction caused by an ill thought out choice. A spur of the moment, resorting and falling prey to my own weakness and the devastation it has caused another soul. I can't take that back, but even though I caused irreparable harm I also have within me the exact opposite power.
I have the power to transform myself, transform how my actions affect those around me and transform my power for one that does immensely good things.
Even in my failings I have worked at trying my best to move forward and improve. In many ways I failed at improving, (although that's a lie that I still tell myself) because in each moment I made strides to improve myself. Unfortunately at that time, in that relationship with all the circumstances around me I didn't make enough change for growth and the foolish ill thought out actions of my youth caused such damage that it could never repair the relationship and it eventually ended.
The power of my actions was so strong in the very beginning of my relationship to my ex, that I removed the cornerstone of trust and destroyed any hope of creating a long term partner with her. My actions caused that. No one else's, and a very good friend who meant a great deal to me suffered the consequences.
I had an opportunity to listen to a friend and I was gifted the chance to read a message that was sent to her from another dominant. In it he made some very shocking statements, first and foremost about how in his mind she was already his submissive.
They had previous discussions, they had chatted back and forth, but she had made it extremely clear that she did not consent in anyway to being considered his. There is power in holding thoughts, and when they are misaligned there is a danger inside of that. When one side sees things with a certain perspective you have to remember that this is a dynamic, and it takes two to tango (sometimes more). The thing you must ensure as a dominant is that your touch, your interaction is seen on the same level. You must be aware of the situation and where the boundaries are set. Are you simply friends having a polite and pleasant conversation about life, issues, your thoughts and current circumstances? Do you know for certain that where you stand with your friend you both agree and know that it is simply friendship? Are you making more out of it than truly is to the relationship? Have you made your intention known that you are looking at them as your submissive, and if you are is that other party viewing you as their dominant? If not you are breaching consent, and you will either cause harm or be harmed because you didn't have the patience and ability to ask and make known how BOTH sides feel. You also have to respect that everyone has the right to their life, and if they want NOTHING to do with you as hard as it may be you must accept that. Because it's their life and for whatever reasons, however real or illegitimate they are still THEIR reasons and should be respected.
Take a look at it this way, you allow yourself through your interactions to show up. You express your interest to someone else and if you can image it as if it's a door to your house. Your domain. You approach your friend and beckon to them, say here is my door, open it and come inside. If they look at it and choose to walk away then that is their choice and you hold no power over them until they CHOOSE to walk up to your front step, open the door and enter your domain. While your friend spends their time on the street they can simply choose to walk past and in that case there is nothing you can do because it is their decision. Well not nothing, at that point you have to make the decision can I still be friends with this person? Do I still want to be friends with this person? What do I get out of this interaction and do I gain value and satisfaction in simply being friends?
As dominants we hold immense power, power to do harm, power to do good, power to heal, to help, to support, power to change in both positive and negative ways. Which would you prefer? Are you going to take for granted what is offered you, and hold your nose at the stink created? Will you even be able to accept responsibility for your choices and the way that YOU LED in the wrong direction? It wasn't the submissives fault for doing their best to follow your will, and there is no right that you have to get upset over their "failure". Because it wasn't their failure it was yours. It needs to be seen as such because you have the power to make that difference. You have the power to lead appropriately or not. It is a simple choice. But YOU have to make it and hold yourself accountable to your actions.
I had a moment to help my friend, and in that moment trust was created because of my actions, and I had the power to make that a negative experience. It could have easily gone any other way because of MY CHOICE. I have lived a life of misery, regret, fear, disdain and self loathing. Simply because I made a poor choice and spent the rest of my relationship trying to make up for it. I'm no longer interested in "making up" for my poor choices. I am now in a place where I will do my utmost to make the correct choice from the beginning and avoid the mistakes of my past.
I choose to embody my power for good. My power for positive change. My power to support as only I can, with all of my heart, mind, soul and body. Notice I mention body last and that's intentional. I believe that it is more important to work at developing an emotional, mental and spiritual support before you move into physically supporting someone. Although I need to specify that sexual physical support would be the last pillar that I see as necessary. I choose to make support over physical pain, and the physical self a higher priority because it's important to make it known that this person you want to have in your life for the absolute remainder of the time we have here knows that she is desired and appreciated for her beauty as well as her mind. But the focus should be first on getting on the same page mentally, (again are we just friends, does this have the ability to become something more, are we compatible, do we both feel the same way?)
I would recommend that you take your time, and carefully think about the interactions and consequences to your actions. Proceed cautiously and ensure that you are making good decisions for your well being and make the opportunity known that you will be respectful, honest, caring, and compassionate about this person who is choosing to give you the greatest gift ever offered.
I don't know how many times I have seen or heard females comment how they struggle with having male friends simply because they are being polite and just generally respectful and it gets viewed as "Damn this b*tch just wants my dick". You need to look carefully at the actions and understand this person is simply being kind, and working at finding compatibility. Make sure you are on the same page about where the friendship, relationship or dynamic is. Don't rush things because if you do its a sure fire way to end things in a gloriously abrupt way. If you pressure and push when they do not desire that from you, it will leave a sour taste in their mouth that will make any desire to get to know you evaporate. Which may ruin the potential for any decent dynamic between the two of you.
But all of that comes down to the power of your actions. The power of your choices. You can do it right. Or you can do it wrong.
Make the right choice, the better choice, the patient choice. Take care and view this person as the treasure they are, the gift they could offer and approach it with tenderness and compassion. Approach with understanding and things may just turn out the way you need for them to occur in your life.
Have a truly wonderful day, and thank you for taking the time to read my words today.
