Hello Cage friends,
Each dynamic we invest our time into is about creating something. We are born to create, to thrive, and to flourish.
The questions arise, what do you plan on creating? What is important to you? What do you wish to see accomplished within the relationship and the dynamic? Do you have a clear vision of the future or is it muddled?
Our time is our most important resource and how we spend it is exceptionally valuable. Will you "waste" your time or grow with it?
So many individuals look at the process of creating something and they jump in both feet, all a frenzy. Don't get me wrong excitement, energy, vitality are important. Bringing that sense of wonder, joy and thrill at being able to create what you want is important. It shows that you have drive and ambition and that where you are going matters to you. But it also takes careful consideration, and careful patient planning. It's not something to be rushed, as rushing can lend to making mistakes. Of course there will be bumps in the plan, life will throw curveballs at you and make you do double takes at what's in front and around you. You have to adapt to the situation at hand regardless of what the plan was because the fantasy in your mind must fit reality.
There is a lot to realize about being dominant.
There is much that should be taken into consideration as the dominants will, if haphazardly formed can cause significant harm and destruction.
Take for instance a dominant new to the journey, he's roaring to go, excitement fueling his veins. He's running on adrenaline more than anything and makes a quick decision based on an assumption. First, the facts are not fully understood. He's using an assumption to base his decision, an assumption he has made that is based on an emotion that was felt during a brief interaction. He didn't take the time to understand himself, and he didn't take the time to understand the other person on the other side. But he pushes forward and says "Here is my decision!!" For a moment I would have said well he's a bit of a fool and should have done a tiny bit more research. He should have practiced patience and done his due diligence before reaching his decision. Regardless of how prepared he was, regardless of what information he used to base his decision its still his decision and through all that he can see (despite it being based in falsehoods) his answer is his truth. By his will, through his words and his actions he presses this decision into place. Is it right? Well perhaps for the other party its a complete and utter betrayal of all they are. But for him, it's complete, it's absolute truth and in his eyes it's what he wanted to create. Within that moment. Did it grow the relationship or destroy it? Did it produce more or bring less? Was it right or wrong? It simply depends on who you ask and the perspective of the situation.
The thing in all of this to remember is that whether the decision is founded in truth, fact, and honesty or whether it is unfounded the decision becomes absolute. Dominants hold the responsibility of creating (for better or worse) the situation and growth for themself and for their s type and the dynamic. It is wise then that a submissive take their time in looking for a dominant that shows the ability to tread carefully, that considers all aspects and gains perspective from all sides before jumping into a decision. The weight of responsibility is great, and the fallout of a poorly made decision has tremendous consequences.
What do you wish to create? Will it be positive or negative? Are you choosing to act with the best intentions?
All through each moment a dominant guides, makes his choices and abides by them as does his submissive. His thoughts, his will, his words and his actions become the fuel for the creation of the dynamic. What is placed into the dynamic becomes truth whether born from purpose, intent, either positive or negative. Each side brings consequences. Act rashly, without much thought and things can end poorly.
Patience is absolutely necessary. So how do you learn to be patient? You take every opportunity and see those challenging frustrating moments as places to grow. Today at work I faced one such moment. There was a break along a water main, and we needed to shut the water off. This job had been done yesterday around 24 hours ago, and yet today when I went to shut off the main using our infrastructure there was still leak by. Everything was exactly the same as yesterday and yet despite all of that as diligent as I tried I was unable to shut the water off successfully. There was a great deal of frustration within my mind, I briefly argued with myself thinking "Its only been a day, why won't this work for me?" Fortunately I didn't get frustrated, I kept working methodically and I managed to improve the shut down so that it was about 75 percent shut off. Not as good as yesterday, but I did my best and I had to accept that I was incapable of doing a better job. Sometimes our valves don't operate as they need to, and there isn't much you can do about it. But I didn't lose my cool, I stayed patient and I did the work to the best of my ability and I also gave the pertinent information to the supervisor in charge of the job and we worked out a plan for another crew to look at it tomorrow. I'm exceptionally happy that I didn't let my frustration win despite the circumstance. I took an opportunity to grow and to practice patience, without getting frustrated. I might not have been completely satisfied with the results but I can rest tonight knowing I did my best and I won't lose any sleep over the way I handled this issue.
Take each situation and look at the opportunity presented to you, and try your best today. Do what you can and make the choice to create peace, create growth, create nourishment. You will be thankful you did, your s type will be thankful you did and your dynamic will grow because of it.
Thank you for taking the time to read my words, now it's off to bed to get some rest. Have a wonderful evening.
