Hello Cage friends,
We all walk our own paths, each of us has moments of trauma or highlights of experience. We each create markers of our lives and look for significance to say "Ive made it this far".
Each marker, each milestone will look different for the individual. It will look different for the specific person vs the relationship. Because you may have a personal goal and yet those are separate and distinct from the goals of the dynamic. They are different than the goals set by your Person, or different than the goals you set for your person.
As dynamics move forward you will pass through these stages. As you grow and build trust and reach deeper spaces you will see and acknowledge the different stages, markers and milestones you walk past for yourself and for the relationship.
Recently progress has been made in massive and tremendous ways.
Faith and I have hit a fair few massive milestones in just the last 3 weeks. She just recently posted about strength and I laughed when we read her post together one day after work. I had intended to write a post about my side of the experience and low and behold she beat me to the punch. So here I am, in a sense writing a follow up and yet this is about my experience. About my perspective. You may see where things correlate but as a Dominant I hold a different perspective and experience of the same events.
So to begin I first need to delve into my history just a tiny bit.
In all of my past failed relationships I really did not feel comfortable. I struggled being honest. I struggled with negativity. I struggled with infidelity. I made plenty of mistakes and I have many more yet to make. Although I am learning my lessons and working at not repeating my history, I still struggle in learning the lessons of those previous errors. I'm hopeful that as I age and improve I will work at making new glorious mistakes such that I learn new lessons and continue the process of becoming the best version of myself.
In the past one thing I did was in essence lose respect for my person. I didnt show them the respect they had earned because I didnt see them as capable of handling me. I did not embrace their strength because I was concerned that they would not be able to handle what I desired. I did not believe in their strength.
Part of the conversation that Faith and I had revolved around the concept of Person only desiring one aspect of what she may offer. Or only seeking what they needed from her. In many senses they saw her innocence and did not want to besmirch how they viewed her. They didnt want to corrupt or taint who she was to them. But that was just a way in which they were saying "I dont trust in your strength because you cant handle me in my totality."
Within these past weeks Ive reached a point. Ive passed a marker. W/we have reached a new stage of the relationship because for the first time in my life I made the intentional choice to believe in her strength. I witnessed her actions, her words, her dedication and I trusted in her. I believed in her strength and when we finished our conversation I put into practice my trust in her strength. I didnt hold myself back from anything less than what I needed. I didnt curb my words, although I didnt quite lean into my deepest desires. But I walked forward in my thoughts and actions knowing she was strong enough to exist for me. I trusted her to not only support me, but witness me in my totality and accept who I was. W/we went deeper into existing for each other. W/we took a giant leap forward together. By simply being and allowing each other to exist in the most natural of states, without reservation.
Now, each person has their own milestones of whats important to them. Whether it be as simple as telling the truth over something youve lied about in the past. Or inviting your significant other to meet your child. Maybe its about creating a drawer for that P/person in your home. It can be as simple or complex as you require it to be. If its important and essential to you then it will become a milestone that you watch for when your P/person walks past that point. When it is reached you will soar to new heights together. It will deepen trust and your dynamic will evolve.
I found it exceptionally liberating to believe in my girls strength. I found it exhilarating and completely transformative to have trust and faith in her in such a way. Its opened my eyes in new ways and I can be more authentically myself when, where and how I need. She gives me strength to be who I am because I trust in her and her strength. Because she is exactly who I need in all ways and she will serve me exceptionally now and in the future to come.
Thank you for reading my words and taking the time to observe O/our journey. I hope it helps inspire you to take steps in your own walk that you find deeper satisfaction and joy.
