Hello Cage friends,
*Disclaimer: Cannabis was used in the production of this blog*
I have to admit I have turtled into my busy life lately. I have disappeared from Cage in order to work on myself and some of the imminent goals that require my attention. I have been self centered. I have not wanted to share my journey because somethings are simply for myself and my girl.
That being said I am grateful that I feel motivated to open my voice and share a part of my life and my journey.
Recently I had read a blog (as I have been dropping in from time to time to see what's been going on, but had not felt the motivation that my journey would be particularly useful to share) and there were some strong words used. Suffice it to say the comment that stuck with me happened to point a common flaw among men yet the writer pointed out it was inside every male.
I did the guy thing. I immediately thought to myself "Yeah but thats not me." The funny thing is though the author wasnt wrong. But I believe the idea should in fact be more generalized. Its the human thing to be our worst selves. At least every once in a while. When I first thought back to my previous actions during my past relationships you could easily be told of a very different boyfriend/fiance/and husband. We all make mistakes, sometimes we say things we don't mean, sometimes we put our foot in our mouth. Sometimes we don't handle our anger well. Sometimes it feels like we utterly and completely fail.
But here's a massive secret.
We ALL fail. Fall short. We all miss the mark. It just depends what your mark is. Because mine is different and shifts every single day. Or week. Or month.
You know what's amazing? We all evolve.
Now dont get me wrong. There are those that intentionally create false identities to get what they can as soon as possible. Some people are created and made different. With different perspectives. Different opinions thoughts and feelings on what dominance is. How to express it. What does it mean? If you are someone committed to the lifestyle then you will do the work of finding who you are within this question. You will do this work and find this answer before you begin your search for your s type. Self awareness and understanding oneself so you can efficiently communicate that to your partner is essential.
While we all fall down the best part about humans is we can evolve. We grow each day if we take the time and effort to try and improve. As I said depending which of my ex's you speak with you will get a radically different view of who I am. Or was. Each relationship I made mistakes and failed a required NEED of my person. While all of my history happened to exist inside of the vanilla world I still missed the mark in all sorts of ways. Because not being able to have something like honesty within a relationship is a sure fire way to have it fail. I struggled with that in every one of my relationships. Even my current one.
There were days and weeks where I lied and the guilt ate away inside of me, causing so much internal damage and negativity. I had no reason to lie but I still chose that action. The thing is, now in my life I'm willing to bring my mistakes forward. I'm willing to admit I'm human. I'm not perfect and I never will be.
So while as young humans we tend to make poor choices. The question becomes do we learn from that and evolve and improve? I cant go back into the past and change any action Ive committed. But I CAN walk forward and choose my best option. I can be my BEST self today.
Now some of you may be confused. Why in the blue blazes is the title of this blog RoM?
Because part of my journey involves taking affirmative action towards my health. This happens to involve calisthenics.
Now Ive spent my night shifts over the last while watching YouTube videos trying to learn my highest priority hobbies. These include beatboxing, calisthenics and Halo 5. I am trying to learn as much as I can within these fields currently to focus and spend in my free time.
I recently observed a new to me channel of a calisthenics practitioner. Now I don't have a time stamped day of when I set the internal goal for myself to do a HSPU(hand stand push up) but I do believe I have been working towards this for over a year. Guess how far Ive made it?
I still cant even manage a full handstand.
I have been struggling to perform a balanced hand stand. I used to be able to do one when I was in middle school. Some nearly 20 years ago. As I was learning some different progressions the creator of this channel pointed out a few really critical important factors to find success.
RoM.
This is your bodies range of motion. Sondre Berg (heres a little sample of what he is capable of:
) as you can see he puts a massive amount of pressure on his joints and in one of his blogs he mentions getting the question "How do you manage those movements, how do your wrists cope?" He went on to explain the exercises he works at to build strength and flexibility within his wrists such that he gained "wrists of steel". Part of his explanation involved the concept that you have to have certain ranges of how your body can move. Getting proper alignment with shoulders over wrists and hips all in line, you need to be able to bend at least 90 degrees in your wrists. Because you will put way too much pressure on your shoulders if you don't achieve that angle, and you will eventually cause damage to yourself. The crazy amazing thing is that you can learn. You can work and build that flexibility. It just takes consistent effort each day.
Because of Sondre, I now have the tools I need and the middle ground progressions that I am capable of managing to work at building the strength necessary to sustain my body weight. To find the balance. To have proper form. I have seen more progress in the last week and a half than I have in the year Ive been working towards my goals.
The thing is I was throwing myself at the end goal, trying to be at the end of where I want to be. I'm simply not there yet. That is a fact. I was throwing myself up against this wall trying to be "perfect". But rarely if ever can we jump to the deep end of a skill when we are just starting. Some of us have natural talent, different bodies, different minds and can process and succeed in new skills with little effort. But each of us has natural skills and talents. Although we get to choose what we build and gain experience and expertise in. What we want to gain mastery of.
I can be the best man I can be. I can do better than yesterday. I may fall down but each stumble will become my foundation. I will build my experience and walk taller standing on my past learned experiences. I will stretch my back, my wrists each day. I will work at building strength each day. I will take small steps towards my goals until I accomplish what Ive set out to do. Eventually I will no longer need "my failure today to build success tomorrow" because tomorrow will come and I will find success within that skill/goal. It will take daily dedication but I will accomplish everything no matter how many millions of small steps I need to take.
I wish everyone success in life, and I hope that you are able to find the steps you need to fill in the gaps of where you want to be and where you are now. Sometimes I think it requires taking a smaller step because we aren't quite there yet. But you have to be willing to do the work. You cant blame anyone else. No one will change anything in your life. (<< This is not technically true, but the point is at the end of the day you must choose how you will act and what steps you will take responsibility for) The burden is on you to be better, and no one can hold your hand while you try and grow. Of course support is available and should be relied upon. No person stands alone. We don't have to accomplish every last thing by ourselves. Whether its a friend, a professional, a partner or even a random stranger you may need to reach out and lean on them. Ask advice and their perspective. Sometimes a second set of eyes can bring new perspective that opens your mind and allows you to see things differently. The more perspective you have the easier it will be to choose a path that you believe in. When you see all the information you can use what is best suited for you (or your person) and how you want to create a scene that will aid by creating the inspiration for growth and change. As dominants we aren't able to change anything inside another person, except we can lead. We can help inspire our perspective right side of the slash to want that improvement. We can show them that we are willing and able to do the work in our self. Create a guide and say "follow me".
Part of this comes when you know your Will. When you can answer important questions. When you see yourself.
The thing is we have a million things we can work on in a day. We can clean, cook, take care of property, do laundry, look after children (if you have them) and thats the humdrum life needs to happen things. Part of life is making sure each area is attended. That each section gets attention. Honestly I can neglect my dishes and my kitchen. I can procrastinate in any area. But I ensure that I get back to an area especially if I have neglected it. The funny part is how much more work something becomes the more you put it off. If only I had just taken 15 minutes each day to work at this instead of having to spend 6 hours or days and weeks getting something under control. Keeping on top all of the different areas is essential.
This all said some days you are just utterly exhausted and like yesterday you just sleep, and nap and rest until you realized the whole day has been used up. Taking time to recuperate, to rest, to recover, to take a day off is important too. Overworking yourself wont gain you results, it will pull you farther away from your end goal. At least that has been my experience.
To those that choose to read my words today I thank you. I wish you luck in your journey that you find success and joy.