Hello Cage friends,
So many who wander around my blog (or my slaves) will know that W/we just got back from a trip together. W/we had many amazing moments, laughs, giggles, silly interactions, joy and yes W/we also hit some real life scenarios that were full of hard, frustrating, overwhelming spaces. It was an amazing journey, an amazing trip and the one thing I was so damn grateful for was that no matter what W/we went through whether it was joy or frustrating W/we still saw value and how to navigate those spaces safely.
There were a few moments when I had to choose patience and sit and watch silently observing carefully weighing how, when, where and if I should step in to assist my slave as she navigated her frustration, overwhelmed and at one particular moment Holy meatballs, Red, Red, RED of terror and complete *done* with the situation. Now I will share about that moment later on as that is not the focus of this post but I will state that I was not the cause of her *finished with this moment* terror induced event. It just happened and W/we are so fortunate and blessed that I spied a way out and that God granted us mercy in all things to resolve that situation so that W/we did not have to worry. (After the fact)
No, today's blog is about myself. (Because I am "selfish" that way)
I wanted to speak about the nature of O/our dynamic and how I receive support and strength from my slave, just as she receives support and strength from me. W/we do not simply take from each other but cycle and return what is given freely between U/us.
During the trip there were a few moments that shone brightly with the love, care, respect, value and support that is added into my life by my slave. At least from my perspective.
There is a recurring theme within all of these moments and most of them stem from my own fears. Fears that spring from doubt, anxiety, nervousness, and perception. It is fear that comes from being human and susceptible to what may seem impossible, hopeless, overwhelming and scary.
So here are three moments from my trip that my slave offered support and helped me grow not only as a Dominant, but as a person.
Number 1) The FlowRider (Location: Aft deck 13 of O/our cruise ship) We had been exploring the ship just having arrived. We didn't really need to be doing much except wander around and explore because O/our stateroom wasn't yet ready (and W/we had already been yelled at by an innumerable amount of employees to "not be here") So during O/our exploration W/we found the water slides and you better bet your butt W/we had races down as there were two side by side. It baffled U/us how no one was even attempting the slides but it afforded U/us the chance to run up and slide down time after time. Of course after O/our races I was undefeated although the attendant did call one a tie.... I am not entirely convinced but I let it ... slide hehehe. After W/we had run through a few rounds my slave was very excited to attempt the FlowRider and I was less than enthusiastic. She had even asked before attempting the slides if I had interest to which I replied "Nope!" Honestly I didnt want to make a fool of myself. I didn't want to fall down and hurt me, I didn't want to not be able to succeed and the easiest way to avoid all of that was to simply not go on. I had seen plenty of people attempt and it made me nervous.
But lo and behold my slave did not lack the courage, and she marched over and signed herself up going through the disclaimer forms (with my permission) and as she had just finished I knew there was no way in the world I was going to allow her to do this thing without me. She was brave. Bold. She had strength and resolve and determination and I needed to join her. I knew I would regret it after the trip was over. So as she had just finished signing her waiver forms, I was already in line behind her signing my life away too.
And so it went, W/we walked over towards the starting line (although apparently W/we went the wrong way) and as W/we got in line there was absolutely no one around and W/we were able to jump on first and second. Since she was ahead of me the attendant guided her over and showed her how to set and launch herself into the water. She did very well and managed to get up on her knees on the board. It was amazing to watch her in that moment. She made me so proud and I was excited to be able to join her. When it was my turn I pushed off and I was shocked that I didn't immediately faceplant into oblivion. But as I went through following the attendant I actually did very well. So much so that there exists a video of my attempt alongside some commentary from a couple standing next to my lovely and amazing slave with quotes such as "Here's where she (the attendant) gets him to faceplant" and "Wow, he must have an impressive core" uttered by the female companion. Not only did I impress myself, have an amazing remarkable experience but I impressed some random people I will never meet again.
All because my slave makes me stronger. All because my slave gives me courage. All because my slave makes me a better human. All because I am really competitive and couldn't be "shown up".
Number 2) Karaoke (Location: The Star Lounge, Deck 5 of O/our cruise ship)
Now this experience has some Day 1 and Day 2 details. If you aren't aware Mikayla and I first "met" at karaoke. After we had been talking for what feels like months but may have been weeks I really can't remember how long it took, she invited me to join in a kinky karaoke event. Even this space was nerve wracking for me because I didnt sing. I liked it but was always so self conscious about it that I didnt do it in front of people. I didn't want to be mocked. I didn't want to be terrible. I didn't want to embarrass myself. But we met at karaoke. She wore the most gorgeous dress, one of her best. I even showed up from work right when it started so I could see her. I had to disappear after 5 minutes but when I got home I joined again and afterwards W/we talked until it was morning for her and late into my evening.
Now when W/we got to O/our ship on Day 1 W/we checked the events and goings on. W/we saw Welcome Karaoke!! And knew at 9 pm W/we would attend. So after a lovely first exciting day W/we got ready and arrived at karaoke promptly at 9 pm.... Only to find out that the list of participants had been completely filled 20 minutes before they even began. Which meant since W/we showed up on time there was no chance of U/us singing that night. So W/we milled about and listened to the first person who sang. His name is Michael C, and he was pretty exceptional. He had the crowd involved and did a damn good job of getting everyone excited and into the evening. It was a great first impression (and will be important to later on in the story). After W/we watched his performance I decided that it wasn't really worth it to just watch and I felt quite a bit tired so W/we returned to our stateroom for the rest of the evening to rejuvenate and prepare for the next day.
So on Day 2 after a perfect day at Coco Cay (which was filled with more waterslides, ocean, fish, sand, hammocks, locking our items in a locker, tubeslides and wave pools) W/we got back to the ship and looked at the events available and saw there was Rock-a-rookie which was a live karaoke experience, with the band that plays the star lounge during the voyage. Again late into the evening (but showing up early) W/we arrived and went to get sorted for the show. Because it was a live event the list of songs was drastically reduced and the management stated at the beginning that there would only be 10 slots. Since there were a lot of people lined up they would raffle who got a chance to sing. That radically shifted my perception (along with not having the songs I was excited and wanting to sing) heck yes I want to do this. So I kind of shrugged and told Mikayla I wasnt interested but that she would. As she looked over the list and wasnt very interested in the song choices either W/we happen to bump into a recognized face. It was Michael C from the first night of karaoke. As W/we got to chatting it came up that since there "weren't any songs and the raffle" W/we informed him W/we werent going to perform. At which point he piped up and said "If I sing "I want it that way" will you guys join me?" A little mortified but guessing it wouldn't happen because of the raffle I agreed.
After W/we found a spot to settle down to watch and enjoy the show I was really nervous. My stomach was in knots and I was terrified and hoping that W/we wouldn't be selected. Honestly I hadnt listened to the backstreet boys much and I did not know the song very well. Mikayla prodded me to look up the lyrics and went over them with me. W/we spent time "learning" the song. But I kept saying Oh we should just leave. I dont wanna. Maybe W/we wont get selected. Until the organizer notified the crowd there were only 13 singers so they would try to fit everyone in. Eventually he called out "Michael and friends" and as W/we walked up front I felt like I might just throw up. As the song started my body was nervous and trembling, my leg was shaking like a dog scratching its ear or roadrunner getting ready to flee from Wile E Coyote.
W/we were so fortunate to have Michael as most eyes were on him, and he killed it. He sang his heart out and really gave the crowd a show. As W/we stood together backing up Michael I knew I could lean on my slave. I knew she was with me. I knew it didnt matter what W/we did so long as W/we had fun. And I began to. W/we got all the way through the song and as W/we walked back to O/our table there were a few comments about how well W/we had performed as the backup singers. I know Mikayla was just as scared as I was. And she knew that song wasnt in her range but she stood beside me and belted out as loud as she could. W/we got to sing together even if it wasnt how it had originally been planned, and W/we survived. No one died. No one laughed. No one made fun. Now I will always cherish the memory of the first time I sang with my slave. How she stood beside me. How she helped give me courage. How she helped me step out of my shell. How she gave me a fantastic memory that will live on forever.
She is my strength. She is my courage. She builds me up. She is my support. She is my inspiration. She is my motivation.
Number 3) Secrets (Name of the resort after the cruise) Now I have to say a few things. This trip I did not push O/our boundaries. This trip I focused on learning U/us. How W/we fit. How naturally W/we exist. I could have attempted 1 scene/moment to try and stretch U/us but I kept U/us in fairly tame territory given what W/we enjoy and want to try. This was partly due to not knowing if I was ready/capable but also as W/we were meeting for the first time I was still learning her. Learning the limits of O/our touch and entanglement. I acknowledge I should have set 1 intention to try to push U/us in one area of common interest. But there is another line of thinking here too. I'm in this dynamic for the long haul. As is she. There isnt a rush to try everything today because W/we will naturally build those spaces of trust and gain those areas of play as W/we develop O/our close physical and intimate relationship. There should also be something to look forward to. Something to be excited to try. Something to want to have. Something to foster hope and desire for the future.
Now in this space it was liberating. There was a freedom here that wasn't anywhere else. Although W/we definitely made an impression everywhere W/we went but here W/we were among similar minded individuals. There was nudity if you wanted. You could have any type of sex anywhere (so long as you were inside the premises with a few restrictions to certain areas that could be seen from public spaces) But even with this space around U/us I was struggling finding a mindset. I was having a hard time feeling comfortable. I was again nervous. Fearful. I was concerned how I might be perceived. How I may make a fool of myself. How I might let my slave down by being less than the man she knows. For any simple or silly reason. It wasnt based on anything other than overwhelming fear.
The interesting part though that really sunk in for me was when W/we went to go sit in the hot tub one day. As W/we approached the woman sitting in the tub commented on my amazing water shoes that Mikayla had gotten for O/our trip. As W/we started chatting some of that stress and anxiousness fell away. Eventually W/we got to a section of conversation about how the woman was so anxious about being in the space. How her partner (I honestly for the life of me cant remember their names) was so ready to dive in. That he helped her find grounded calm spaces and help her navigate those areas. In that moment I realized that W/we are all human. W/we all have O/our own demons. Those areas in O/our lives W/we struggle with. Those things that seem to knock U/us down. To keep U/us from exploring, or trying, or doing.
As I listened I began to understand once again on a deeply personal level its not about anyone or anything other than those inside the dynamic. So long as I am being careful, conscious, with safety in my mind as I play and guide O/oUR dynamic. Because it is O/ours alone. No one can tell me what is right. No one can tell me what to do. Or how *I should or shouldn't* Part of this lifestyle is tolerance. W/we are all grown adults making O/our own decisions. Based upon O/our history. O/our experience. What works or doesn't. What is punishment in one dynamic may be seen as abuse in another. What is desired in one dynamic may be revolting to another. W/we are all unique. W/we are all finding O/our ways. W/we are all looking for what is RIGHT FOR U/uS.
It doesn't matter who looks in and may disagree with my methods. That is their opinion. But my methods work exceptionally well for me, and my slave. So long as W/we enter into the world with intention, forethought, care, understanding, acceptance, consent and agreement then do Y/you. W/we practice RACK in O/our dynamic because W/we understand that certain areas of O/our play are not safe. There is no way to make it *safe*. But W/we acknowledge the risk. W/we educate O/ourselves on how to manage it. W/we look at warning signs, and what to do *IF* something goes horribly sideways. W/we are responsible and make decisions and act with intentional choice. But at the end of the day W/we need to do what is right for U/us and how I see the vision for O/our growth. Sometimes its about learning to accept that no one else can tell you what to do. But it's learning to listen. To hear what is happening. To adjust and account for what is going on today. Then make an appropriate decision based upon facts, information, knowledge, understanding grounded with intention about the future Y/you desire to lead.
I am learning how to be authentic to myself. I am learning how my slave supports me. I am proud of the woman she is. I am honoured to have her by my side because she lifts me up. She makes me better. She helps stoke my imagination. She pushes the boundaries of my thoughts. She asks me questions which evolve my thinking. She educates me. She gives me guidance by showing how to handle her. She gives me insights into being her Hero by communicating. By sharing. I do my job by listening and connecting the dots to the future I need for U/us. W/we work in collaboration to better each other by actively supporting who W/we are. I couldn't be who I am without her. She couldn't be who she is without me.
These are just some lessons and experiences that were gained over the course of O/our trip. I hope those that take the time to read my words today find value, insight and growth from peeking in on O/our journey.
Mstr J
