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Bacon, Idolatry and other such Sacrilege.

Sometimes my mind forgets that it’s encased inside my skull.

Ramblings, stories and random absurdity brought to you from the writer of “1001 Uses for Hoarded Toilet Paper” and “I’m Willing to Bet $10 Jesus Christ was from Outer Space” and many other books, papers, and requisition forms you’ve never heard of. Read at your own personal peril, laugh a bit, cringe a lot and visit often!
4 years ago. May 11, 2020 at 10:44 PM

I’m still trying to wrap my head around those of you who insist upon using a closeup photo of your genitalia as your main profile pic.

 


Don’t get me wrong, a nice set of tits, moistened vagina and an erect phallus are all lovely to look upon once I get to know you on a more personal level. But if I might be permitted to ask you one question it would be how does your mother or father, your dentist, or your minister feel about your handshake? I mean, I’m assuming at this point that you greet everyone with your penis extended as a sort of salutation gesture. I’m just curious how that greeting usually turns out for you. Maybe it works for you. Please, share your experience below.

 


The next message I get from anyone sporting a closeup of any sort of “junk” as their main photo is getting much more than they bargained for.

 


Note: I have no problem with artfully depicted nudes...I’m talking about shitty angled, closeup photos of any genitalia taken with zero lighting and a crappy cell phone camera at 2am under a filthy looking blanket in a dank looking bedroom that belongs to an obvious hoarder.

 


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