I love the tradition of the centuries-old Rose Ceremony; a bonding ritual full of symbolism that binds the Dom and Sub who have committed to remaining together for the rest of their lives.
In this private ceremony, the sub dresses simply and carries a single long-stemmed white rose that hasn't fully bloomed while the dominant wears black and holds a single long-stemmed red rose that is almost in full bloom, both stems still having their thorns.
The white rose symbolizes her submission and the purity of her gift, while the still slightly closed petals show that her submission has not come into full bloom. It never will. Submission is ever-deepening, ever-growing and the submissive will never reach a place where she cannot open a bit more for her Dom. The red rose signifies his dominance, his passion, and his desire to possess and protect her at all costs, even if it requires him to spill his blood. The rose is almost in full bloom to symbolize that he is ready and mature enough to accept the responsibilities required of him.
The couple stands facing each other. First, with a thorn on the stem of his red rose, he pricks her middle finger and lets two drops of blood fall on the white petals of her rose. Then, she offers the thorns of her rose to him and he pricks his own finger, letting two drops fall on her rose, one alone and one on top of a drop of her blood. Next, the two press their fingers together so that they are joined by blood.
Mixing the petals signifies the mixing and blending of their lives. Couples often keep them in a decorative jar, once the petals have dried completely. Upon death, a portion of those petals is placed with the body to show a bond that will extend beyond the grave. Legends are told of roses that have sprung up on the graves of couples who have loved so strongly during their lifetime that even in death they sent back evidence of their everlasting love in the form of roses that bloom again on the graves.
Pricking the finger and the drops of blood on the white rose is symbolic of the loss of her virginity and the blood she has shed to give herself completely to him. In pricking his own finger, the dominant shows his willingness to shed his blood to protect and defend her by virtue of his ownership. The drops on her rose show that vividly; the drop that falls on her blood covers it and blends with it, thus indicating their union.
Pressing their wounds from the thorns together and allowing their blood to mix joins them as strongly as their own family bloodlines while exchanging the roses signifies that they have given themselves to one another.
The official performing the ceremony takes a light chain of 6 feet or so, and passes it quickly through the flame of a candle, and wraps it around the couple before asking the Dominant if it is his wish to take the submissive as his own. Then, the submissive is asked if she is willing to obey her dom and do as he commands. Next, the chain is then removed and wrapped in a cloth and the roses are brought together, letting their blood merge before being given to the other.
The chain represents all the events that have led them to each other, and passing it through the flame symbolizes the purification of everything from their past, present, and into the future; all bad things are burned away, and only the good remains.
For the final step of this ceremony, the dom removes the old collar. He takes the new collar, quickly passing it through the flame of the candle before placing it around her neck, showing that she is his and his alone for life.
In ancient times, the collar would have been made of metal and heated to a glow, and plunged into cold water to temper it after it was rid of all impurities. This action symbolized that all outside influences were burned away in the heat of his desire to protect and defend his submissive. The tempering of the metal that took place when plunged into cold water showed the strengthening of their commitment by submersion into the waters of life.
Wrapping the chain around them gives a visual image of the binding together of two souls into one. This chain is never used for anything again, other than in a similar ceremony by the person who receives this chain as a gift.
I love the symbolism and subtle pageantry that goes into this ceremony, and as I look forward to the upcoming renewal of my contract and commitment to my dom, I am excited to discover what symbolisms of his own my dom has added.
