One of my tasks, is to write 30 minutes a day. I know I need to and like many of my tasks, this seems mundane. To be honest, the number of items on this task list that are self care is painfully embarrassing. When the task list was given to me, I was just blurted “but I do this anyway!” Sir gave me that smirk and replied, “Do you?” I looked at the list again and sighed. He was right- of course. These were things I should do, but often don’t. *grumbles in sub*. When I look up at him the smirk is gone replaced with a look that speaks to understanding me. He kisses the top of my head, “Trust my process”. Ok Sir, I am.
I have ADHD and when I say that can make everyday things difficult, I’m not joking. The remarkable places I have found my keys alone speaks volumes. So, sitting down to actually write- ewww- this clip sums it up so well.
Task lists, to do lists or Ta Da lists are so necessary for me. Even with medication, the executive dysfunction is still there. In many ways, his directives override that part of my brain that can’t even get started. Does he have to remind me to eat… yeah… sometimes. Does my task list include an entry about that? Yes, yes it does. He is adamant about proper nutrition and I am guilty of forgetting to eat because I am hyper focused on a different task. It happens, he gets it.
So, we are trying an app. I have heard people say that apps seem impersonal, but if he can see that I am doing these things without having to constantly remind me, it does help him reign in on his chaos gremlin. We are often in other locations so he doesn’t see me refill my water bottle. It means that the nagging can be replaced with a quick call to say, “Thank you for taking care of what’s mine. You are my good girl and this pleases me”. Not necessarily in those words but if you know you know. It also helps him know how my day is going (*sighs in Dom* did she forget to take her meds or just check not check it off- holy hell woman you will be the death of me) ok something like that 😁😉
Tasks lists are hard… I work and he will be returning to work soon- “too soon” *grumbles in sub*. I do send him my to do list and he always comments. The to do list doesn’t include my tasks for him. These are things to do and not necessarily the habits he is training me to learn. So we use the app like a habit tracker. It gives us a shared document to review.
It’s just a starting point. He is very focused and a creature of habit, I am a chaos gremlin, I know that through the he will check in randomly but he also has specific points we touch base. We will discuss the random- my murder muppet and his insane cat- but these will include a quick review of my task list. He laughs and points out that if we didn’t do it I would end up chugging the missing water at the end of the evening during the winding down. Yes he is right about that. He might know me a bit.
The task list - for me- is an important tool. Distance could easily rob me of his guiding hand so for us, this helps. Even with an app, it keeps him and his presence to keep me steady and safe. The app is not my Dom. He is. The task list and, for us, that app gives him one more way to help me be the best me. Whew- that was more than 30 minutes. Gotta check that off my task list.
- Umber
