As I return from my morning walk I am alive and full of hope. Is it just me or does the changing of the season from Winter to Spring bring a smile to your face? The world wakes up and the small leaves and flower buds speak to me. The dark of the winter is fading and spring brings new hopes, new dreams, new possibilities. Is it just me?
Most days I can put on the happy face. Show the world the happy go lucky facade that everyone is used to but in the dark of the night there are truths and needs that cannot be denied.
In the dark of the night my mind conjures images. Thoughts of a strong, gentle, uncompromising man binding my naked body to the bed. His hands wandering my body as he tells me all the things he wants to do to me. His words sending chills down my spine as he chooses which toys/devices he wants to use. He begins the scene with gentleness but as I squirm he tells me I can’t have what I need until I cum for him. He won’t give me what I crave until I beg…..until my juices run down my thighs and my body trembles in need. Only then will he fuck me hard and fast. Only then will he coat me with his seed. Only then will he own me. And once the scene is over and he holds me tight…..only then will sleep come in the dark of the night.
Do you ever feel trapped in your own life? Maybe it’s a product of your obligations, maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s anxiety, or maybe it’s just not being who you really want to be?
Today I feel trapped by so much. Wishing my circumstances could be different, wishing I didn’t feel so deeply that obligations have to be met before I can escape, wishing I were bolder and lived more out loud. 🤷♀️
Just wondering out loud….
Thinking again today…..always a dangerous pastime, and I have a question for those of you that like dancers or watching dance.
I am a student at a dance studio. A pole studio to be exact. When I flow(choreographed moves on and off the pole) I like to wear something that makes me feel good and boosts my confidence. Often leggings or bootie shorts with a tank. Sometimes a skirt with shorts underneath and now I’m starting to wear what we often refer to as stripper heels. Last night we had a couple of newer students show up wearing some outfits that made me think of ladies of the night. Absolutely no hate there because at the studio it’s all about you; what you like, what you feel, what makes you feel like a Goddess. So here is my question for those that enjoy this kind of entertainment: What do you prefer to watch someone dance in? What turns you on? It’s a dance studio and we don’t often shed clothes so g strings and pasties aren’t the norm 🤷♀️ But I was wondering if it’s the clothes or the moves that make you desire someone.
I was gone for a bit because sometimes your baggage gets the better of you, but I missed it here. I lurk, I read blogs, I try to make friends with people who might understand some parts of me that often stay hidden. I’m glad I decided to come back. Much to learn, many friends to make, maybe even some crazy to share. Happy Pre-Friday!
So I’ve been in my head recently. Went to dance class last night and the song she chose….well it spoke to me.
In my life I carry the weight of several worlds. My own of course, but in my self-imposed prison I also carry the burdens of my family as well. Most of the time it is just another thing that I have to do. I do what needs done because it is expected.
However the last couple of days it feels as though gravity is being cruel. The weight is crushing……
So be it. Only the strong survive
I am the kind of person who hates confrontation and hates to hurt others. I often take the wounds that I should inflict on others because I would rather hurt myself than someone else. That being said there are things in my life that I wish I had said, situations where I held my tongue because I wanted to be kind. As I prepare to spread my wings and fly in the relatively near future….I find words and thoughts bubbling to the surface. They need to come out. I need to express myself. Does anyone else ever want to write scathing anonymous letters? Not to actually send but rather just to clean these wounds so they can heal….
Have you ever been in this position? Where there are not words to describe the ache in your chest, the need you feel but only one thing can meet? Feeling so sideways and desperately wishing you could find words to tell someone what you need/want? And yet no words will come so you keep pasting on your smile while you shatter inside?
Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest. Not when you just worked 6 really long days and are staring down the barrel of another 50 hour work week. Household chores, errands, laundry, yard work. Sometimes adulting sucks. For a moment I stop and indulge….What’s your guilty pleasure?