So in my previous blog i mentioned that i had been doing a bit of soul searching about my future, And literally a few days later i get my answer from the most unlikely of sources, hence the blog title :D
So a little bit of background, I was trying to work out where my future should lie, I have been feeling broody as of late I`m getting older and time is not being kind, I have Diabetes, high bloody pressure, High Cholesterol and have been suffering from depression ever since diagnosis. I hate having to take medication, Mainly due to seeing so many of my childhood heroes die from becoming addicted medication, I know my tablets are not painkillers which is the main cause for those people`s premature death`s, But its stayed with me and now i hate taking pills of any kind. So it`s affected my usual happy go lucky attitude.
I`ve also become quite good at hiding this, I don`t really talk to people about my feelings, So i try to appear positive in front of people, But i do snap sometimes and becoming a bit of an ass it doesn`t last long but still It`s not how i want to be, I like being the person everyone can come to for having fun and a laugh and I want to get back to that asap.
So anyways there i was deep diving into Youtube again bored out of ma tree 😄 And i come across a video entitled. HOW I SAVED HER LIFE: DIABETES STORY TIME (T1D)
So i watched this video and It wasnt the story that got me, It was how the couple interacted with each other the looks they gave each other, I was like damn thats what i wan`t, I want to look at someone like that and be looked at like that. So i hopped onto their main page and started from the first video 3 days later i have watched all of their video`s I smiled,I laughed heck I even cried. But they talk about many things, quite a lot of things that i felt, About Depression and Mental Health and being happy being who you are and who you want to be.
So now Im all like screw it i want to be me, Im not giving up finding someone within the BDSM community who i can maybe have a future with. Yes i want it all why should anyone settle for half of what they want, not when the whole is out there just waiting to be found.
So from now on a more positive outlook on life is a given, I can`t do anything about the diabete`s so just take whatever i need to take to keep it in check, Start looking towards my future and get back to being my old bloody self :D
