My rants

Short blog: (I'm dealing with health issues.)

I've noticed a lot of the profiles strictly push sex. (Especially the men's profile)

Dominant-submission relationship is NOT strictly about sex.

Most women (dom or sub) need more than just sex or "release."

In fact I am not looking for sex or a sexual release. 

I am looking for a giving server in my submissive boyfriend . . . 

Someone who goes out of their to want to see me happy. (I'm very generous when I am happy.)

So if all you think you are sexual toy and nothing else, please move on. 

Unlike most of the scamming online doms out there, I will NOT take money for nothing !

I will NOT take money simply because I am dominant!

I will admit, I am not the richest dominant out there. In fact, I am current simply caregiving and cooking for room and board, but I was raised with values, models, and class.

I did control my ex submissive boyfriend's money, but this was 6 months after living together and how I realized he was spending his money unwisely. (I want to note that when my ex submissive boyfriend died of cancer, he was not in any debt from me.)

As tempted as I am with money, I've learned money does not always grant me happiness. (Neither does sex for me, but that is another story.) I know I enjoy dinning out and shopping, but as long as i have my Pepsi and a clean notebook and big pen, I am very happy just like that.

I will not sell out who I am or what I want for money. Maybe I'm am only one of the few the real dominant, but it's not about sex, money, or pain. . . It's about what is best and responsible for both parties. (Yes, there can be fun in there too.)

I was on here before. I was hoping there was a new selection. Someone who truly gets me.

I am  complicated dominant:

I am BBW if you cant handle a bigger woman please move on.  Please do not be rude, and leave your comments to yourself about my weight. (You do NOT know my health situation and issues I'm having with energy and weight lost. Until you have walked ten miles in my tennis shoes, I don't do heels, then you can comment about my weight. My weight had nothing to with how dominant my submissive boyfriend.)

I am monogamous, demisexual, saphiosexual, and grey sexual. This means I am seeking a smart, submissive boyfriend for a female led relationship possible marriage. (My ultimate goal is marriage with a submissive husband.)
 I am  seeking more of the relationship than the sex. 
The grey sexual part means I am picky in who I am attracted to. I know what I want, and I will NOT settle or wear down. (I have limits/dealbreakers and if you are in that list I'm sorry,  I'll be friends but nothing else.)

I'm into micromanagement, control, and experimenting chastity.
I'm a caregiver with family. I'm close to my family (Most of them know I am dominant, I even help them with their micromanagement innocent such paying bills on time, making a menu, cooking, and budgeting. I enjoy planning, it makes me confident and content.)

I am BBW if you cant handle a bigger woman please move on.  Please do not be rude, and leave your comments to yourself about my weight. (You do NOT know my health situation and issues I'm having with energy and weight lost. Until you have walked ten miles in my tennis shoes, I don't do heels, then you can comment about my weight. My weight had nothing to with how dominant my submissive boyfriend.)

I need a submissive guy (not a slave or baby or pet to own) to be my boyfriend, eventually husband. (I need a boyfriend who is submissive, but is interested in me as person before a dominant.)
I need a submissive guy  who is into complimenting and encouraging, build up his dominant queen positively. (Please request and read my blog and learn about me. I also want know about you, please be honest with me, I do NOT put up with liars or catfish. If you are into games then please move on.)
I need close my age (I'll be 36 in December, age limit is really 25 to 45)and someone in real life as I need certain physical element such as kissing, cuddling,  spooning, teasing.
I need a submissive boyfriend who drives, likes cats, cleans, works, and sometimes cooks.
I want to have common interests and date my submissive boyfriend as I feel it builds commitment and a real connection.
My hobbies: Writing, Blogging, Publishing, Cooking, Baking, sports: volleyball, american football, basketball, and baseball, Vampire the Masquerade, Card and Board games, Movies, Music, You Tube, Traveling, Paganism, Candles, Tarot, Ghost Haunting, Cats, Dinner Parties, BBQ's, Walking, Reading, and Chatting.
I am not expecting everyone to have all the hobbies but I am looking for someone to be able to talk to me about something. I really enjoy a decent conversation.)

I am currently turned off. (Health issues are bad. What really makes me complicated p, I'm current not into sex. When I orgasm it causes pelvic  cramps that can last for days. I'm seeing a few doctors about it and I'm currently weighting out my options. I cant have kids and don't want them. I'm into chastity, but my submissive boyfriend can earn release  and play time. Again read my blog about it.)
I am seeking someone within my age to awake me sexually and mentally. Someone who can handle me emotionally. Someone who is into me not just sex. 

Note: my top ten limit/ dealbreakers  (if you are any of these, please seek elsewhere.)
1. Men who are taken, married or just want sessions (no one night stands or your idea of cam fun)
2. Men who have or want kids (I'm not into kids, I want cats)
3. I'm not into smokers or heavy drinkers
4. Men under 24 or over 45
5. Slave who don't want to be treated humanely (I'm NOT sadistic)
6. Those into pain (again, I'm NOT sadistic, I'm not even into spanking)
7. Cross dressing or sissies (I want my submissive boyfriend to be a guy)
8. Bald guys (it has to do with a bad past)
9. No super young inexperienced virgins or doms who want to see if they can be submissive (I'm not the one for you.)
10. Non readers (I'm a writer, and I need my submissive boyfriend to be about read and comment on my work.)

I know what I want and I know there is only a small percentage out there. (I know it exist as I have had it before. I know if I look hard enough I can get it again. I will NOT settle. There are over 6 billion people in this world, I'm sure my special submissive boyfriend/husband is out there.)

If you have any questions or want my blog please feel free to ask.

No naughty pics on here. Only in my fetlife, you must ask nicely for my name. I will only give out my fetlife namrpe if we chatted awhile. However if you are interested in my blog, please just ask.

June had been a lone a while, but she had a naughty schedule. . .Tuesday and Thursday she had fantasy viberator play (in which she finds erotic story and would play with her varies viberators, she had maybe two dozen all doing different things.) Saturday was her romance day (in which usually candles, wine,and a bubble bath.)

She was happy with her Monday through Friday office job, loved her cat Felice, and would get whatever she wanted when she wanted it. She told herself if Mr. Right comes in her life would be happy, but until then was satisfied with her life.

One day she got a raised as she got her boss a new client. She treated herself and a bought a new vibrator. It had fallen off the shelf in front of her feet. She took it as a sign. It was clear, but biggest she ever had at twelve inches long and over two inches wide. She got extra batteries and a large bottle lube. She was going to have a good night on Tuesday. This was Friday. . .she was very good with keeping her schedule and it gave her something to look forward to.

Saturday she felt something was weird when her candles when out and she felt something pinch her ass going to bed. She thought maybe she pinched a nerve. Then went to bed, confused.

It was a Sunday night, she was cleaning the kitchen before bed. She swore she felt someone sneaked behind her, she felt pressure against her back and ass. She felt a slight breeze on her neck. 

She moaned and pushed her ass against it, finishing the dishes.

Then she got undressed for bed, decided to go to bed naked that night. She felt that she was not alone and she was going to tease whatever seemed it wanted to play. It had been over two years since she had a decent play partner. She didn't just want, but needed to be touched. . . 

"Whoever is there, please enjoy me." She invited the spirit to play. It was within seconds before she felt pressure on her pelvis as if they were straddling over her. Her breast felt caressed and squeezed. She arched into the pressures and moaned. . . "Oh yessss."

The pressure made her soak and wet. She had her eyes closed and tried to picture the pressured ghost as muscular man having his way with her. Within moment, she felt her wet pussy stretch and then vibrations pulsate throughout her body.  She screamed and gasped. . . "Oh god, yessss, oh god, oh god . . ." She released over and over falling asleep in a puddle of her own bodily juices.

She thought the ghost had used the vibrator but it was still in the box.  

1. How to approach me. . .

Bad:(These approaches have happened to me)

1."Hello Ma'am your deviant eyes make me horny . . . May I cum?" (I hate being called Ma'am, call me mistress or by my name, please. Ma'am is what you call a 50 year old widowed grandmother. I'm still pretty young.)

2. "If I pay for dinner, can I get a blow job or cum?" (I am a foodie. But I am not a food slut, please do NOT insult me)

3. "You wanna get drunk and get each other off?"(First of all, I do not drink. Secondly, I do NOT show intimacy with strangers. Thirdly, due to medical issues sex or just orgasms are off the table.)

4. "Once we meet, how long do you think we'll have sex. I need to know if I need to buy condoms."(If I agreed for a date, do NOT expect instant sex. I'm a dominant, not a slut.)

Good:(I rarely get these, but these approaches show me more interest and respect.)

1. "Hi, Mistress, how are you? I read your profile, do you really like football, who is your favorite team?"

2. "Hey there, I really like your eyes and I would like to get know you better."

3. "Hi. I am new about this lifestyle. Could we just have a chat about your exoeriences and what you know?"

4. "I would like to meet you, but lets see if we are compatible first."

2. I am not simply interested in just the sex aspect of a female led relationship. (It's actually last on my list.) 

Bad:

1. Please do not send a cock pic before a face pic. (Note: I will not meet without seeing a real facial pic.) 

2. Please do not ask when you can cum/orgasm/release online. (I don't mind writing stories online with a partner when I have writers block: they should have a good storyline and romance.However I'm not looking for an online relationship or no cam thing.) 

3. Do not instantly think you are my submissive boyfriend, it does NOT happen over night. 

4. If I am not the one you're into, and you keep coming back thinking you will wear me down and I'll cave in or settle. (I know what I want.I had a guy who kept coming back day after day for other a week thinking I would cave in.)

Good:

1. Please send facial pics before any naughty pic. (I'm attracted to clean faces, head full of hair, soulful eyes, and smooth chests, not penises.)

2. Please have a decent conversation with me. . . I have tons of hobbies and interests, and would like to find common ground as I feel you need it for a connection. (If you are simply horny and just want sex, please seek someone else.)

3. You contact me daily to see if I'm ok. You send my encouraging word, hope I have a nice day. You tell me of your day. We get to know each other (As I want a connection in my female led relationship, my ultimate goal is to marry my submissive boyfriend who gets me.)

4. If you're not into me but respectful, we can be friends. I know I am not everyone's cup of tea, but as long as you open about what you want and not rude, we can still talk. 

Today (Sunday, actually this weekend), I had to block and deny guy who just didnt fit. 

Yes, I am picky, and I REFUSE to settle!

I've learned  my gut is 95% accurate, and if I don't feel it, then please  move on. (I am not the only the only dominant female out there.)

I talked to this guy for a week, telling him we didn't fit, and yet he kept trying. We just wanted two different Things. My gut told me that from day one, and yet everyday he would push the same issues, sigh.

I am not looking for just a servant who work, clean, serves me, but is an "owned" thing that sleeps in a cage like an animal while I sleep in a bed. (I want a submissive boyfriend who wants to try his best to improve my life, in which helps me to defeat my depression and find my own happiness. I appreciate that he cleans, massages,  spoils, pampers and dates me. I need us to have similar interests and do things together. I want to sleep in bed together and spoon to sleep. I need the best of vanilla dating, but a female led relationship. I had this once before, and I know I can find it again.)

I really feel I am repeating myself, but I'm thinking I'm going to start making a check list and you don't pass then you're done. 

I'm sick of the "let just or can we be friends?" Why? 90% of the time you will not be there and other 10% you'll wonder if I changed or got my sexual mojo back. 

If you are not in my age limit or from another country it will NOT work out. (Other deal breakers, cat haters, those who have kids, want kids or smoke.)

Then tonight was the icing on the cake . . . I keep getting pushed into Skype (I was on skype off and on since 2014 and I kept getting the perverts that just want to get off by cam. I cannot get off by real sex, toy or hand as orgasm cause extreme cramping that last for days, it's NOT worth the pain. Then I got this frisky, pushy guy who got demanding about stuff, and I would deny him and he would threat to find me. I think he had a secret rape fantasy. I blocked him, but he just got on another screen name and started to pull the same sh*t. It freaked me out as he started to tell places near where I lived. I got my skype, deleted the screen name and tried another name, but I afraid he'll find me.) I found my Skype for the current guys and none of them messaged me. I found an guy I was talking to last year, and basically called me fat. . . With your weight You shouldn't have a fun spread with football sunday. . .you needed a salad. He was claiming he was trying to "better" me. If he wanted to better me, he would have encouraged things that make me happy like cooking or I am bonding with my subby over common interests. (He even said that its irrevent if dominant and submissive have common interests. How are they supposed to have a connection? I knew I needed to lose weight, but you do NOT take away my food, I'm a foodie. I want to go on an exercise plan with my subby, but that jerk never let me express that.) Needless to say, he was blocked. This is why I don't use Skype anymore. 

I know I am picky but I know what I want. If you are not what I want, best of luck.

What are my passions? Writing, cats shopping with sales, abstract art, organizing others, and cooking/baking

What are hopes or fears? Hopes: I win the lottery, find a submissive guy who loves for me and I love him and he lets me micromanage our lives with cats, I get my novels published professionally (Not lost in the sea of self published books, actual fear) Fear: I'll be alone forever or even worst I settle for someone not right, my health issues can't be fixed, I get stuck in my current live-in situation forever 

What are my hobbies? Writing, cats, cooking, baking, movies, music, and painting

What do I do? Caregiver, help out family, writer, dominant

What do I love to do? Writing,  play with cats, cooking, dominant, micromanage

What do I hate to do? Clean, submit(or just keep my mouth shut), take care of sick

Note: Yes, I repeat things like writing, cats and cooking, this means they mean a lot to me. In fact, they are my world. If I don't write during the day, then I don't feel productive. Cats help my anxiety. I'm a foodie, which means I enjoy cooking and baking as much as I enjoy going out. 

Things my sub can do that excite me

1. Be into me. . . Ask about my day, compliment and encourage me. (Learn about me:

What are my passions?

What are hopes or fears?

What are my hobbies?

What do I do?

What do I love to do?

What do I hate to do?

Note: My answers will be within my blog.)

2. Make me look forward to something: date or game night, our reading time, Sunday football spread etc (I love seeing it on The calendar, Note: large calender are good gift ideas. )

3. Planning things with me, or finishing a to-do list or making a new to-do . . . Monday evening will be calendar date, to review our week, check events, errands, add a date night etc (I'm into planning and scheduling, I get giddy and sometimes turned on when I have a busy schedule and when my subby asks what our week or day is going to be like. Or when my subby ask if he could go out with friend or whatever and I say no, because we had something planned. Note: Certain events can make me nervous or anxious, I hope my subby can handle me.)

4. Watching my subby doing dishes or cleaning (in his boxers with his cock cage on under them when we are alone. I like to tease while he cleans. I enjoy him driving me to places, hold my bags as I shop, reading my work together, playing with our cats etc)

5. Cuddles, baths, and massages with my subby... kissing, making out, teasing everything but sex. (Until I get my health issues fixed, and we'll bring up ways of pleasure)

6. Cooking or baking (while subby cleans up) I want my subby to get excited over my cooking and baking. 

7. When my subby shows me something that he is passionate about or showing me that he did something on his own. (I want subby to show me his favorite movie, best dish, things at work, hobbies he us excited about. I want to learn everything about my subby. I want to know him so well that I treat him with his favorite things.) 

8. Shopping (subby hold the bags, duh.) Or receiving gifts that mean something to me (I'm not into the flowers or jewelry, if I had to have flowers I like lilac and carnations, my mom was a alleric to roses so I liked having other flowers. Roses are also very cliche. I'm a writer, so I like gifts like notes, candy,sweets, notebooks, colored flash drives, big pens. Bigger gifts: cats or computer stuff, trips etc )

9. Dinning out or ordering in(if subby is good then he can tell me what he wants, if he's bad then I order for him. I'm alsom in charge of our money.) I also like to order in and binge with netflix. 

10. Going for drives with my subby (I like sponetous moments: no plans, no focus on everyday life. Just enjoy the drive.)

Since I feel I have to teach my subs, I am going to it in sections. 

This will be done in parts . . .

I will give scenarios  and tell you that bad idea and the good . . . Hopefully it will give subs a better understanding of what I want. 

Scenario 1: I'm not your mother, if you are sick. . .

Bad idea: I will NOT baby you, cuddle and clean up after you. (I have a weak immune system, so this will not happen. You would be lucky if your sick clothes make it in the washer. I do NOT clean your puke.)

Good idea: I will make soup, go out get meds, or start your bath, but I usually will just let you sleep it off. 

Scenario 2: the need for sex or release while in a cage or chastity piece (I have process, my subs must earn release as I understand that release is natural for the body, how a body do not "need" it released every other day or every week, that is just in our heads)

Bad idea: Damn, I'm sore. You're unfair. You're being mean. I need to release. I hate to sit down to pee. I'm a man, damn it. Don't you love me? If you love, you would let me cum. . . I need to cum, it's been stressful at work. I've been stuck in this cage for weeks. My balls are so heavy and blue. 

(I can list ten things wrong with this. . .

1. No manners, I expect "please" and "thank you."

2. I plan to talk daily, so I would know about stress at work. 3. The sub is being whiny. I don't like whiny.

4. The sub is being passive and

5. Do NOT think guilt trips would work on me. They puss me off.

6. Never say I'm unfair without showing how I'm breaking the rules or policy myself. If I came 5 times and still said no, I could understand.

7. I do make sure the cock is healthy and washed in that cage. If something was medical wrong, we would work o  it. The cage is there because I do not trust that my sub will not touch himself in such a way he'll be addicted to release again.

8. Yes, you are my male submissive boyfriend or husband and expect respect not snappy.

9. I have pain and issues and I'm not mentioned. . . Not how are you?

10. I am your dominant girlfriend or wife, it would be that I am acknowledged. I want you to come to me if you unsatisfied or if something is bothering you, but I expect it done correctly with respect.)

Good idea: Oh my dear, beautiful mistress. How are you? How may I help you? How can I make your day? Do you need a back or foot massage? (Massage whatever part  ask you to.)

I hope you had a good day or good sleep. I have a request or I wonder what can I do for an early release, if you please. (Please get creative, romantic, encouraging, the happier and more generous I am, the more will get accomplished  and higher your chance to get released.)

Scenario 3: Reading

I'm a writer, so I'm very into reading and those into my writings. 

Bad idea: Saying you read my work, but only answered vague statements or say you love it because you are sub and want to "impress me."

Good idea: reading the piece, have questions where things confuse you. If you don't like it  or you do you like, please give me real reasons why. You will impress me by being involved. 

There are more scenarios coming up. 

I wanted to explain what being in a female led relationship with me would like. . .

I would like to wake up in the morning to a note or a text from my stubby guy. . .

"You were sleeping too peacefully, I will message you at lunch. Have a wonder day my queen! PS coffee is made, enjoy. Kiss"

I get up, get coffee with a light breakfast. Then I have 25 minutes stretching and ride my exercise bike, and the shower. 

I play with the cats. I check the bowls, my stubby fed them already.(sticker for him)

Coffee with email and message my submissive boyfriend . . ."Good morning, Coffee is great, good boy."

He gets a sticker.(I have a system in which he can earn different things, night out with guys, time with the cage off, best one possible unruined orgasm!)

I look in the fridge to see that my sexy good made me lunch, leftovers from his lasanga. Yum. He gets another sticker. 

Then I get a text, "did you enjoy lunch? I saved the last piece for you. I gave myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." (Three stars, I love my lasagna, but an extra point for his submission.)

I finish left set up potatoes for soup. I see the timer and work in first set word sprints for my time on my novel. 

I finish my soup and throw it in the slow cooker.Then I work on my novel until my serving guy gets home. 

He gets home."Do you want to earn a sticker?"

"Of course, please my beautiful queen."

"Dinner is in the crockpot. I want a full

body massage." I demanded.

"You take a quick shower and I wil, be ready." He knows we both are nude durning a massage. 

"Yes, my queen." I get undressed and he cleans up. He smells like my favorite soap when he is done. I lay on the bed under my special sheet and watch him move around and get out the oils and lotions. They are my favorite scents. . . Vanilla, lilac, caramel etc. 

He starts on my shoulder and, lots of tension. 

"Tell me about your day. . ."I demand. 

He prattles on about whatever and who said what at the watercooler.

He kneads my back, I moan, I can feel him tremble slightly. 

"Grind your cage into my bubbly ass," I am trying to be a playful tease. He does this, moaning and groaning.

"Oh, good boy." I have him stop before I get to worked up myself. I just love a good body grinding, but Who doesn't?

He massages my ads and thighs and calves. I turn over and he works on my huge breasts. He oils them up and rubs it in. It doesn't do much for me but I know it relaxes my chest and drives him crazy. I know his cock wants to bust out of the cage and just slide back and forth between those bouncy mounts. 

Then he massages my stomach and lightly on my pussy;however,  he know if he makes me orgasm, it will be three days of mean painful me. (My orgasm causes cramps that last for days due an oversensitive pelvic situation. I'm seeing doctors about and how to fix it, but until then I can't truly enjoy my orgasms. However once I'm fixed it will at least 3 to 10 of my orgasms to his one.)

He finishes with my feet. Then I relax for a while. . As I feel it was a good day and he was a very good boy. I look at his stickers, not enough for a few orgasm, but I take out his cock and play, make hard and put on a cock ring. I play with him stoking it up and down, maybe even a few licks and sucks until it oozes. 

"Oh thank you, my queen."

"I want you to be satsified with me." He begs for my happiness. 

"You are my good boy! Now lets cage it and eat."

We eat at 7. . . We are in robes. However he cleans in his sexy blue silky boxers. I wrap my arm around him while he is doing dishes, slide my hands under his boxers and play with cage. He groans. 

"Who is my good boy?" I whisper.

"I am, you're good boy, my queen."

We cuddle after he cleans correctly,  and watches Netflix. 

Then he runs me a bath. I tell him of my novel or erotica story I wrote. I look for his bodily reaction as well as his opinion.

We go to bed together, he naked while I'm in my night shirt and undies.