Every experience is a plethora of learning. Some of it really hard, some of it where you really hurt, some that you just don't understand. But you can always take away little grains of learning.
What have i learned of late. i have learned that i am amazingly resilent. I have learned that no matter what i feel deeply even when it hurts so bad. i have learned more about what i really want and have to have. i have learned how to vet and what to make sure you find out. And i have learned no matter how much all this happens - its still a risk.
But most of all - i have learned how much this lifestyle actually means to me. And I'm not certain it i will ever actually share it with someone, but I'm not willing to give up. Because each time, even when it hurts, it was an opportunity to find out more about who i really am. And that is tremendously important to me.
Most of all i have learned who stands behind me in this and is always there for me when i need them. As well as who pretends to do that to only disappoint you.
So i plan on keeping on with my learning. i am in this way too deep to stop now. and i would never forgive myself if i did.
