A Question for Dom/mes, Tops, etc

A Question for Dom/mes, Tops, etc

ropefish • Jan 23, 2019

So I don't really know how to search the forum and I apologize if this has already been asked. But I was curious if you tops out there prefer inexperienced or experienced subs/bottoms, and why?

Also, do you have a harder time finding one or the other?

Deltaashes • Jan 23, 2019

Sorry i have no answer to your questions, but im new here and would really like to know the answers myself.

TheJackdaw​(switch male)​{Collared} • Jan 24, 2019

A good question with no real right or wrong answer! My partner and myself were together for a few years before we started actively exploring our kinks and soon found comfort with her being the sub, and me being the dom. Sometimes we switch, but usually the former. So for me, mutual inexperience has been the key. However, I guess training a new sub can be a very rewarding experience for a dom, and likewise a well experienced sub may help a new dom become comfortable in their role.

Performer​(dom male) • Jan 24, 2019

To be honest, you are likely to find a different answer from every person that answers. I like both personally there are benefits to both type of sub/bottom. The happiest times for me have been when I had multiple people in submissive roles who were all at different places in their journey.
The fact is that there's so much in BDSM/kink that we're all constantly, or at least consistently, learning. So I suppose I would say it's easier to find people who want to learn more, but all of this is just one opinion. We have a very diverse and varied population in the wide BDSM/kink community.

Villanelle​(staff) • Jan 24, 2019

It doesn't matter much to me. The onus is on the trained/experienced submissive to understand that preferences will vary from owner to owner and that they must approach a new dominant as a completely clean slate, ready to learn how to please his or her dominant.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme)​{Allie Kat} • Jan 24, 2019

I was lucky enough to be married to a very experienced submissive, and being new to the lifestyle, I feel that helped me out a /lot/ in learning about my Domme nature. Since I have no desire and will prolly never have another partner, I don't know that I'll ever be able to speak from experience on what I prefer. But, speaking in a hypothetical where I'm single/looking...

I don't think it would matter /too/ much, as long as the submissive understood fully what was expected of them (Outlined by me when we started talking of course), and was willing to give me their best effort. If you're new, I would be patient. If you're experienced, then hopefully you'll be able to adapt to my needs/wants, not just expect me to allow you to do whatever you might've come accustom to with previous Dom/mes.

ropefish • Jan 24, 2019

I definitely love forum topics where there's no right or wrong answer.

I've heard people express preference for one or the other before, and it got me curious. That's a good point, that experienced subs should have developed the ability to adapt to the person they submit to.

Dark Fox, the concept of a more experienced sub helping a newer Dom/me explore their role is so intriguing! I don't consider myself *that* experienced but maybe I'll get to try it someday.

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Jan 27, 2019

I have no preference in experience. Like Villanelle​ mentioned experienced doesn't always mean that "experience" is a fit to my needs or trained my way. Dom/mes are not a one size fits all...

Experience doesn't necessarily impress a Dominant.
I do have a preference for a person that understands themselves and how they fit into kink (or see themselves fitting), to a degree as no one knows themselves in entirety. At least, a person that is trying to understand themselves and the kink world ALL around them.
So many subs will offer themselves as 24/7 slaves, yet have no idea what they want within their needs. They just do so believing, it is the "right" thing to say! Often I wonder how many miss out on play or ownership because they cannot see past the "big, bigger, best, better" styled mentality. Then if we D's mention but you labeled yourself a slave..and well LOL dust clouds! ghost! then you see the same profile with the same details a few weeks later! ..honestly! just say your new. Just be YOU. Own who you are. This isn't a job application that you can fudge. Eventually the truth will float to the surface. Sorry if that reads more like a vent..
I prefer a person that can be open and honest, tell me what they want, need and desire. Honesty (toward the top) is something ALL Dominants seek in a submissive.

MasterBrads painpet​(sub female)​{OWNED} • Jan 28, 2019

@miss Bonnie.. I'm proud to be new to the community. I knows it's not job interview but hey it feels like at times... I've talked with Doms and there have been a couple say I'm to new. On the other side of it they say being so new they can train me as they want with no problem. I would like a Dom with some experience because I feel they would be teaching me with skill.

In the very beginning I thought I wanted to be a slave until I started talking with a Dom. We are good friends and he explained what being a slave was. He actually showed me what a day of a slave would be. Even with it being online I couldn't do it. He told me to sit down and write out what I wanted. As well as what I knew of the lifestyle. I learned alot from him eventhough he wasn't my Dom.