Real Time and Online : What's your prefence and why?

ropefish • Feb 25, 2019

I personally prefer physical dynamics and relationships, partially because a lot of my interests are physical and partly because in person relationships are so much easier LOL. Online you have to have impeccable communication and a lot more creativity, and it can also be wayyy more emotionally taxing.

The flipside though is that if you put in the effort, online can be super rewarding. Some of my online dynamics have been more rewarding than some of my physical world ones.
Also, it's easier for me to find partners that are genuinely interested in my mind over my body online haha.

So I prefer physical, but I am totally fine with online as long as it meets my standards and as long as I genuinely want to submit to the person. I think this is in part because I'm poly - I think online only might be damn near impossible for a monogamous person.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 27, 2019

When I read the first post I took "online" as socializing with one whom I would never meet. That's OK. Online sex play? Not for me. Need the real feel.

As I do not do commitments I best identify with What's Behind Door Number Three: (referring to the original post)-- I take my opportunities and get laid or better, I am a masochist of course) when the opportunity arises in my work/life schedule and that's it.

As my profile says (unless I edited that out. Sucks to read one's own profile even if editing it) "I sleep around and am proud of it." --But to wrap up this windy reply, Online to converse, yes. But online BDSM doesn't baste my turkey.

To me it's nothing more than masturbating in front of a cam, and while I'm an exhibitionist, I have a bigger thrill rubbing one off in front of a mirror.

Yeah, twisted, huh?

PrevalingMaster​(dom male) • Feb 28, 2019

As a Dom to me - most subs get online and lose themselves in a fantasy world, look if that's what they want that is their choice. ... I've been burned too many times by promises of going real time only to be disappointed or ghosted after a week or 2 - offering excuses as to why we couldn't meet or even talk over the phone just yet. My 2 cents is ...Don't waste people's time and play with their Minds or emotions.

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • Mar 2, 2019

I'm too crap of a penpal to be able to sustain an online-only relationship. I came up through the local kink scene, so I'm only open to local partners who I can meet soon and interact with in real time.

I could see incorporating intense online contact for a limited time if there was travel for work or some such, but as a default? Nope. It's just not on my radar.

HGB​(sub female){Scottish M} • Mar 3, 2019

Being someone who is in a online only, never to meet, it is not easy, you feel more emotional and can become reliant on communication. When I started it, it was the only way to get the structure I needed. I had been doing my own thing for so long I had no structure. I craved it. Now I am going out to local munches and dungeons making friends trying to find someone, not easy, but still have a love for Sir. I feel I crossed a line and wanted more than I can get. Now I am trying to figure out how to disconnect when I don't want to. Would I suggest it, no. Would I do it again knowing what I know now, yes because it got me out and meeting people. I had become so isolated from most everyone I knew I didn't know what to do or how to do it. And before anyone wants to slam him he wants the best for me, wants me to find someone. Nobody has ever cared for me that much besides some family. My mother never cared that much for me.

MstressWhipplash​(dom female) • Mar 5, 2019

Personally for me living in England I prefer IRL only.

I continue to enjoy Munches and Events and make it clear IRL is my only option.

But like many friends still get the opportunist looking for interactive porn where My block button works fine.

Mistress Whipplash Ma'am

CapnRick​(dom male) • Mar 5, 2019

I'm not sure why so many folks want to make this an "either-or" situation.

Absolutely , in -person D/s can be full surround sound and IMAX levels of interaction, where online is more often an early 13" black and white TV. No argument there.

BUT, for a significant number of kinksters, real live D/s or BDSM is not a possible choice. Many are married to vanilla, or have significant other responsibilities limiting their opportunities to munch and meet and play openly. In our cases, that grainy old TV beats vanilla pudding every time! I've enjoyed online for some years now, as the only compromise available. Good empathy and a great active erotic imagination are essential for both online.

Something not mentioned yet is the greater fragility of online-only relationships. Of course, with online, every day is a renewed commitment to continue--it is far to easy to just make an excuse and say good-bye (or just cruelly ghost off into the sunset). Online requires extra effort, seems to me.

We would most all hunger for the chance to have the sensual involvement of a live partner. For a fair number, that isn't gonna happen. So for those free to be open in their quest to fed their Dominant or submissive selves, perhaps a little charitable understanding of the choices of those less fortunate might be in order.....

SensualAva​(dom female) • Mar 11, 2019

What I am interested in doesn't translate online. It has to be in person. I don't experience attraction (sexual) to someone I haven't met in person either. So long distance is a total non-starter.

I've met most partners through life or OkCupid. Those are my preferred methods.

MissAurlian​(sub female){MasterX} • Mar 11, 2019

Everyone I’ve met in real life, I’ve met online first. Online has its place. RL is my preference, I need to feel his breath on my neck.

evergrey​(sub female){Ashigeru} • Mar 14, 2019

Personally?

Real life all the way. I have been in the lifestyle in person for over 22 years now. I've done a bit online, but it isn't nearly as gratifying or intense. I want someone who can physically be there for and with me, someone I can touch, who can touch me, hold me, tie me up, fuck me. I want to go out into the world and share experiences with my partners, bond with them, be present in one another's lives fully. It's no contest.