Dominant headspace

Dominant headspace

Wolfgirl​(switch female)​{Endercrush} • Mar 14, 2019

I just wanted to know how people get into a dominant headspace. I'm a switch who is trying to explore her dominant side more so any advice on this is appreciated. ☺️

Dominus Blakesley​(dom male)​{Amaris Anc} • Mar 14, 2019

Everyone is different when it comes to entering a space. It could be during a session, it could be when you give a simple command outside of play and your submissive does something absolutely gratifying...For me personally, I get into a space whenever I am in a session with my lover and when I render her absolutely needy for me, I get this sort of contentment at her calling out for me, doing whatever she can to hold onto me, trusting me to do as I wish without hurting our relationship and breaching the Contract between us. Then it is reinforced whenever I start dealing more intense plays with her (as she only just started some months ago) that I enjoy immensely (some particular ones trigger a space for me) and it all just becomes a blur for me. Sometimes, I even struggle to remember what went down and my lover tells me that while my actions and all were focused and precise, my eyes would be far off and at the same time, intent on her.

A space is different for everyone just as it is triggered differently for everyone. I suggest experimenting around during play or exploring more into yourself and whatever you enjoy as well as exploring more into your partner. But when you do have it, you will know, and from there, I am sure you can get at least a little grasp on how to perhaps approach it in the future.

I hope this helps, best of wishes to you.

movingclouds​(sadist male) • Mar 15, 2019

For me, it's instinct. It comes from the gut, not the head.

Perhaps you need your partner to challenge you, act bratty, anger you and give you something to push against and break.

One of the most satisfying -- sometimes transcendent -- experiences is truly overwhelming your prey, shutting down her racing mind and bringing her to a deep place of submission, untainted by thoughts and conditioning.

Don't try to think yourself in to being dominant. Identify the feeling when it arises naturally, and gradually let it rise from your gut to your heart, to action.

MasterBear​(kinky butch) • Mar 16, 2019

I used to teach a find your inner dominant class.

In the beginning there are some tricks to help you access the D side of yourself.

You won't always need to use them. Overtime you will be able to access the emotion without them.

Here are a few tricks:


Try watching porn that accesses your sexually dominant side.


Masturbate to fantasies where you are dominant and utilize those irt.
(In other words- if you fantasize about service or a type is sex , they it irt)


Come up with a separate persona for your D type, indulge and loose yourself in that role. If you need to mirror this after someone that you feel "exudes " power. (For me- Aaron Hotchner or howling wolf).


Stop using the words please and thank you when initially are talking to your s type. Speak with entitlement. Again, you won't need to do this long term. -- what you are trying to initially access is an unapologetic control.

SensualAva​(dom female) • Mar 20, 2019

For me music can really help. One good song "get on your knees" by Nicki Minaj. I really need to make a list of the songs. Lol

Jbodine • Mar 20, 2019

I am new here but want to be submissive to a Dom.....

Jbodine • Mar 20, 2019

I am new here but want to be submissive to a Dom.....

Azzabackam​(switch male)​{PawPawGirl} • Mar 23, 2019

There isn't a lot I can add that hasn't been shared already. For me, domination is about maintaining a calm, deliberate control over the scene. If I need to get into a dominant headspace, I bring whatever took me out of it to a stop, take a deep breath, and hold it. Little things can also help, like deliberately holding my posture higher/straighter, or speaking in slower, lower tones.

MasterRenton​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2019

I would love to say that I had some trick to switch it on, but I don’t. I wake up everyday in my dominant headspace, it never goes off... Can I flex and be emotional support? Yes it takes work but I am able to do that. Is there a time and place for everything? Yes part of growing is learning those places and times when to shut it off.

What I am trying to say is: if you have to work to climb on top so to speak perhaps you should really evaluate your role. Is it where you are naturally mean to be? Is it that the work out in takes away from your or others experiences. These are the types of questions that years ago I wrestled with when I had a Domme she was awesome and I wanted to be hers in every way. Sadly it wasn’t who I was or am, so it was short lived. When it was over I did a lot of self doubt and self assessment.