Online Submissive/Dominant Relationships

Online Submissive/Dominant Relationships

daisiesforu​(sub female) • Jul 3, 2019

Hi all,

I'm a new and unexperienced sub. I was just wondering how online dom/sub relationships work.

I would like for any relationship I engage in to be successful so, I would like tips or advice!

Thanks in advance

-Jada

CrimsonPaw • Jul 3, 2019

Video chats, phone calls, and pics help out tremendously. Also making plans to eventually meet up is nice too. It takes a lot of trust. Make sure you build on a solid foundation of friendship before jumping into a dynamic. There are very well known couples here that are in online relationships that are strong and healthy. I'm sure they will chime in when they see this and will have more valuable advice to give. If you need to chat, my inbox is open. Have fun and be safe!

Lotus​(sub female) • Jul 3, 2019

I had one online D/s and I enjoyed it very much. I would say that something that helped me was to not rush things, really take my time to do new things when I felt 100% right and ready for it. This allowed the D/s to keep from going in too strong and fizzling out too soon. It was not always easy and desirable but ultimately a very gratifying experience. Best to you 💕

LittleMissNat​(sub female){Engaged} • Jul 3, 2019

Online dynamics can be wonderful! I've been in a few. They can lead to amazing experiences. You need to be cautious though. There are many many fakes when it comes to online who will try and teach you all the wrong things and wrong ways to practice. Research is going to be your best friend before trying any dynamic online or off. Munches and getting involved with your local kink community is an amazing way to learn the safety and little ins and outs you should know before trying a dynamic on or offline. If you don't have any around, There is also a great deal of informative books, blogs and podcasts. Both online and offline dynamics thrive on trust, safety, knowledge and consent.

BrunettePrincess​(sub female) • Jul 3, 2019

Be careful because I’ve had guys a screenshot my pictures and just want videos....be up front and stand your ground to let them know what you want and what is not okay (such as saving pics).

Also before anyone says anything lol this was only the span of the first week so I was not comfortable with them saving my pictures as my career is VERY restrictive on what I do/how I’m seen in the public eye

Empress Kelly • Jul 3, 2019

Jada,

I would just add to this...communication communication communication. Make sure you both know what each are expecting. Also some realism needs to be put into place (ie. if you know that a aspect is not in your wheel house, don't play with him about it). Like all relationships, you need to understand each other and what makes that person tick - it doesn't happen overnight. But it does make for that sound foundation that leads to more productive scenes/training/etc.

So wish you the best out there...and make sure you have fun

Debz​(sub female){Barnaby} • Jul 7, 2019

I started out looking for online only as I'm inexperienced too. I had one dodgy encounter which I now understand it as ghosting and a fake dom. I have since found a dom who has been great as a friend, a dom and a mentor. I was guilty of rushing things but he dealt with this and things have been great since. We have now progressed to meeting up but we have still gone slow. I find online first is good because you have no pressures and can get to know each other first

Angel Wings​(sub female) • Jul 7, 2019

Online can be grest and a good start in finding more knowledge of this lifestyle Before starting do research like checking in on chats, blogs and online reading. Don't rush into the first online Dom that messages you because I am sure that has already happened. You have a right to communicate and say no thank you..Get to know him before you start a D/s relationship. Perhaps join a sub group on FB or other reading. Have you read the submissive guide? Do you know of a trusted submissive(s) you can bounce ideas off? Are you looking to be protected? Look for the red flags is the first thing you need to learn. Be aware.

Feel free to message me if you want info or just need ro chat. Be safe, Always..

No Body​(dom male) • Jul 7, 2019

Online is a great way to start. You get to know each other and it is safe. the longer your online the more your going to know if you want to meet them. I met a sub online once and after a month of talking she told me one night that she had a fantasy. Now I am all into fantasies! I love taking about fanatsies! Except for this one night. She said I want to get some coconut oil and I want you to spread it all over me. (Now I love coconut and the oil is better than any lube.) Now once you spread the oil all over me I want you to useme any way you want just as kinky as you can get. "How kinky do you want to get"? She had her camera on and showed me whips floggers and cuffs. I was good till she pulled out ther toys and when I saw the had a wall plug I had to rethink this. I was kinda ok with things till she showed me her her favorite. This damn thing took more power than my tower to get going and looked like something that came off of Man of War while he was on Viagra and watching some major porn. I gently told her goodbye. I can do things that would make a sailor blush. I can think of things that make my friends think I am more warped than Star Fleet but when you got a toy that makes most horse go "damn that's big" it's time to rethnik about what you want and it aint me.
Other than that one time I love meeting people online and getting to know them. It is save and easy to get to know people and what they are like.

Re: Online Submissive/Dominant Relationships

Masterkristopher7​(dom male){buttercup7} • Jul 9, 2019

Hey Jada,

First and foremost welcome to the community this is a humbling topic for myself as I live the lifestyle with my buttercup 1000 miles away (Give or take a few miles).

The first step to getting an online relationship to work is to start with basics. The relationship shouldn’t just start with a dynamic and asking things of you right off the top. Mainly these types of “Doms” I call 50 shades. They feel like because they have seen a movie involving the lifestyle that they could jump right into that role. So starting off to find out simple things, that make you the person you are would make a great relationship that could become a dynamic.

After getting to know the person with their features and personality, the second step would be to talk about the major 3: likes, limits, hard no’s. See how compatible you are.

If everything feels right between yourselves you will be able to create a dynamic that pleases both Dominant and submissive. Within these steps you will need to focus on trust, empathy and communication.

Some things that buttercup and I do that make our dynamic work are:
Lots of instant messaging
Many phone calls
FaceTime when we can
Many photos of our days

I know that our dynamic works off of trust and communication. Without those it would fall to pieces.

If you would like anymore information on how myself and buttercup have gotten to where we are feel free to message myself or her.

I hope this information is helpful, we were all novice at one point. Great first step is asking.


M.Kristopher