Hint Dropping?

Hint Dropping?

switch hitter​(switch female) • Feb 1, 2020

I’m not sure how to go about dropping hints to someone I’m interested in that I’m not a very vanilla gal. I feel like he’s possibly trying to feel me out and I want to drop hints to him that I’m not interested in being with someone who wants a 100% conventional relationship, but I don’t want to freak him out by being too blunt. I’m still new to exploring this side of myself and I’m not ready to out myself to those around me just yet.
I know what I’m trying to ask, but I’m not sure if I’m doing a good job of actually asking it😣

Solidbobtheflamingo​(dom male){Megagem} • Feb 1, 2020

To be honest I think being upfront is your beast option. Sit down with them and be as open and honest as you can. If you try and be subtle it may go over there head or they may have a different idea of what kind of stuff you could like and that could lead to problems latter. I get that it can be scary talking about kinks and worrying what people think of you but wouldn't you rather be happy? I wish you luck.

sweet november​(sub female) • Feb 1, 2020

Tell him you've been naughty and need a spanking...and gauge his reaction.
Go from there.

Lossofalme • Feb 1, 2020

Could you maybe suggest having a dinner date/living room picking sort of thing where you watch a movie or show that is racy/kinky and see how they react? Especially if you set the stage with something like "I just found this show and it's fantastic!" or "I've heard this movie is really hot"?

That lets you see their reactions and maybe open a discussion about "that looks like fun, maybe we could try that sometime" or "I don't think that is very realistic, I have some friends who have said it's more like XYZ" without forcing you to say anything about yourself at first.

Allie Kat​(sub trans woman){DarkFox} • Feb 1, 2020

I totally understand where you are coming from. Personally, i think life is too short for games. I think if he would get freaked out by you being too blunt, then you have your answer and you can move on with your life.

I find the best way to find what you are looking for is to fly your flag proudly, broadcast who you are and like minded people will turn up ^.^

I understand that approach isn't for everyone, but i personally feel like its the best way.

FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Feb 1, 2020

Hello SH

I similar question was asked a few weeks ago and I posted this .... from a D-type’s perspective:

In my online Profile (pre-Kitty) I always said: “It takes Time, Trust and Honesty”
This applies in the real world too.

https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=28559&postid=5389

In real life, as a sexual D-type, I always felt it was too overwhelming and scary (for a woman) for me to try to explain about being a Dom.
I therefore just used to say I was a D-type (in the bedroom) if the conversation lent itself to that.
If there was interest, the conversation would continue ....lead by the person I was chatting to, with their questions..
If not, no worries.

Hope this helps.
FC

Erick​(sub male) • Feb 1, 2020

Personally, I have never met a woman who was TOO kinky for me. All too often, she is not kinky enough.

And I daresay that MOST men feel the same way. It's usually the WOMEN who get scared off by men who hint that they are into sexual adventure.

And, perhaps counterintuitively, my experience has been that most women are EVEN LESS interested in kinky F/m relationships than in kinky M/f ones.

Which doesn't stop me from hinting to nice women I meet that I am secretly a Bad Boy and a Mommy Seeker.

I usually make a "humorous" remark about how I deserve to be spanked for my "bad behavior," and then leave it at that. A word to the wise is sufficient. Those who have ears for the truth will hear it, and understand that I'm not really joking.

Agree ... Be Blunt/Open

Leartes​(sub male) • Feb 2, 2020

It is up to you to decide when to be blunt and open to him about your kinks but I would suggest doing it before getting to serious (engagement or marriage).

Speaking from personal experience I got married before ever having sex with my wife because I was afraid what people would say if they even just found out we were having sex. We did other things before marriage but nothing kinky. We have been married now 5 years and have two kids. I love my family and my wife and I have so much in common but our sex life is not fulfilling to me at all. Aside from having infrequent, with very few if any sexual exchanges in between, sex it is always very vanilla and very scheduled and repetitive.

Just saying don’t let it get that far. Good luck.

Bunnie • Feb 2, 2020

@ switch hitter,

Lol... allow me to suggest not openly asking him if he identifies as a Dominant. When asked “what’s that?” in response, it makes for a kind of awkward moment in the conversation yep... been there, done that. I was like “huh? what? you thought I said what...? Oh no... the music’s so loud... what’s that over there?” *points in any direction and runs* lol, yep... did that too.

These days I would likely just share that I’m the type of girl who prefers a kind of 50’s style relationship where the man is in charge and makes the decisions. That could create a foundation of conversation that at least would give him the fundamentals of what I’m looking for.

individsenior​(sub female) • Feb 16, 2020

When you find someone with whom you feel compatible, you should be open with him/her about what turns you on. If you are honest and the other person 'leaves,' in the long run it's probably a good thing. If you would stay with him and continue suppressing your desires, you will soon resent that person and the relationship becomes a lie. It will not last in the long run, unless you want to spend all your life suppressing your feelings through fear.