Slave vs Submissive

Lord_Zephyr • Nov 9, 2017

The nuance between submissive and slave is a broad gray line of degrees really when you analyze the dynamics that must be in place to begin with.
Obviously there is the reality that abject slavery does not exist because such requires the full force of law in order for the power schema to be set in the hands of the Dominant/owner.
Therefore in our modern society model of BDSM and its three pillars...the power of any D/s relationship lay first with the sub themselves. Submission is granted by their favor to do so and the extents to which that is practiced is a matter of negotiation.

The primary distinction of a slave is that the person is seeking to practice a mindset that mirrors a condition of "no choice" rather than simply submit their will to the authority of another. Ultimately...there are always limits. We cannot escape that fact that lay in the background ever and so it all comes down to what level of "no choice" a bottom can strain themselves to adhere to.

In societal constructs of the past, even slaves had some rights. So in the case of someone seeking to pursue a slave like relationship, a negotiation and even promulgated statement of rights can set the stage in a manner that is conducive to the relationship. If need be, (and I don't really know why people have not taken this up to practice) a third party could be a part of the construct for redress pertaining to the agreed upon base rights of the slave.
This provides some semblance of ....call it what you will...safety net, limits etc. but, it also makes for an atmosphere that comes as close to actual slavery as can be made in our culture and times.
Obviously anyone always has the right to walk away but, leaving that as the only out puts pressures upon things from the get go and ultimately....a Master/slave arrangement also needs to foster an ever arcing and dynamic atmosphere of submission that the slave and Master are adapting to.
An effective Master is one that understands you start here and are pointed on a trajectory of accomplishment. An ineffective Master is one that simply feels all should be delivered from the get go. That is mastery of nothing. That is a child that wants what they want whereas the former has mastered the art of leading, training and inspiring submission to the level of slavery as a matter of well honed practice.

To all

rosethorn​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2017

Thank you for all of your insight, im finding it very insightful. I consider myself a submissive however I have realised a lot of my limits have become more essentials for safety rather than anything else. I find myself becoming more submissive over time and im just at the beginning of my journey, so a big thank you for explaining your points of view it helps a lot. It can be difficult to convey tone when you type lol.

Sir Strict • Nov 9, 2017

For Me I keep it much more simple. I look as a sub as a GF and a slave as a wife. I "train/teach" a submissive lady what I like and once she reaches a level that I am comfortable, I tell her is is ready for a collar. It is on her at this point to ask for a collar. It will be given or not, but once it is given we are exclusive.

As far as limits between sub/slave, well they are mostly the same. I say this because I ask many questions before we even meet and I know if it goes well then we are a good match. I am not meeting every person that comes along, I make sure she is good with the harder bdsm acts I love. Some things do change when she is collared, for most subs/slaves it might include her soft limits. But if she has a limit of needles, when collared most likely the limit will always be present. She does have the ability to remove her limits, not Me and not once play starts.

LordofPain56 • Nov 12, 2017

Turning this around from the opposite perspective, (being a sadistic dominant), I believe that either brand of "bottom"; submissive or slave, could be happy with me, but it would depend more upon her personal desires from the relationship. For example, if a slave who desired some personal freedoms (clothing choices, having a job, choosing friends, etc) but she was not like pain or preferred more mental domination as opposed to physical Domination/bondage, we would not be a good fit. Yet if a sub who craved pain/bondage but was more into humiliation and being used, or even if she wanted to be controlled more than what the house rules call for, we probably would not be a good fit either.
My view is that titles don't mean anything once you get down to the nitty-gritty. Find out what a prospective partner is about by asking questions prior to meeting. It will save you some time if both parties are being honest about themselves.

Jessica_Jewlz​(sub female) • Nov 12, 2017

Rose,
I am relatively new to this as well, but from my research I have seen, the best way to be a slave is not to worry about limits as much as find someone who has thoughts that are close to your own. Don't submit until you are truly comfortable and trust the person you are with. This may mean quite a bit of vanilla time, but you need to really know the person to build up trust.

My Master understands that I came to him damaged. I was afraid to leave my house before we began dating. Now this is someone I have known for a great many years so I had a bit of a head start on the trust issue. He gave me his hand and slowly led me out from the darkness, helped me open up and allow people in. He does not wish to hurt me, but wishes to help me repair myself. My Master would never cross the line to hurt me mentally or emotionally. This is the kind of trust you need to find before you submit as a slave.

I am not sure if this makes sense to you, but as TakenLower stated, find someone whose values match your own. Good luck.

MsNevermore​(other female) • Nov 13, 2017

I have friends who identify as and are slaves. The biggest difference i, personally, see between the two of us, me being of submissive mindset, is in the return of by way of the relationship.
As a submissive I am submitting with the understanding of what is going to be returned. Whether its pleasure through pain, care, love, etc...there is a get with the give so to speak.
My slave friends, not so much. Yes, basic neccessity but they are in it for the servitude of giving what their Master craves with little expectation that it will be returned in like.
Of course the terms themselves are subjective by role and definition in each relationship. There is no universal gospel of what makes or is a submissive or a slave.
Lol, I understand the brainless comment but trust me, my friend who probably is the closest you could find to the text book slave has an IQ that proves that false. She is very smart and again part of her duties as a slave is to use that mind to the benefit of her Master. What will she tell you she gets from it? That He is her Master. Nothing more.