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everyone has a joke in them let's hear your fav

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Calico​(switch female)
6 days ago • 05/23/2020 6:20 am
Calico​(switch female) • 05/23/2020 6:20 am
Innocent one was created by a kid I worked with years ago it has stayed with me since
Why did the banana sit next to the watermelon?
Because it wanted to be smushed!

Not so innocent

What do you call a pickle you masturbate with?

IowaDom​(dom male)
6 days ago • 05/23/2020 7:04 am
IowaDom​(dom male) • 05/23/2020 7:04 am
An alligator walks into a bar, sits down and demands a beer. Near the end of the bar a woman starts shouting .. ", yeah you, you stupid F'ing alligator! DIdn't you see the sign? They don't serve alligators in here, so get your ugly green arse out!" The gator looks at the bartender and says, hey bud, I've had a REALLY BAD DAY , so if you don't shut her up, I'm gonna eat her. Bartender shrugs, and the woman starts in again on the gator.

Quick as lightning, the gator shoots down the bar and gobbles up the mouthy woman. Strolling casually back down the bar, about half way he swoons and passes out cold. When he finally comes to, he looks at the bartender and says what happened? The bartender chuckles and says... "Stupid alligator, that was a bar-bitch-u-ate
rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich}
6 days ago • 05/23/2020 7:29 am
rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich} • 05/23/2020 7:29 am
A smart blond, a dumb blond, and Santa Clause are walking down the street. They all see a $20 bill lying on the ground...……
Who picks it up?
Drum roll please...………………………………………………………………………………………………………….....
The dumb blond picks up the 20 because the smart blond and Santa don't exist. icon_surprised.gif
Dellydoodah​(sub female)
6 days ago • 05/23/2020 2:25 pm
Dellydoodah​(sub female) • 05/23/2020 2:25 pm
A man goes into a bar , sits down and orders a drink. The barman puts a bowl of snacks out for him.
There's a voice near by and the man hears
'You look nice'
'Great tie'
'You dress so stylish'
The man looks around but there's no-one there
He keeps hearing the voice and eventually asks the barman whats going on
The barman smiles and says.. 'Oh, thoses are the complimentary peanuts'
rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich}
5 days ago • 05/23/2020 7:46 pm
rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich} • 05/23/2020 7:46 pm
A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. He sits down at a table, waits for and eats his food. When he is finished, he stands, turns to the patron at the next table, pulls out a revolver and shoots him in the leg, and starts walking out the door.
The bartender yells after the panda bear, "Hey! What the hell is your problem? This guy wasn't doing anything to you!"
The panda bear replied, "I'm a panda bear, look it up!"
The bartender gets out his dictionary and the description for a panda bear reads:
Panda Bear, native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.