What is one question that turns you off to a potential?

Anthony pooh bear​(other male){I wish I h} • May 28, 2020

I totaly agree with you on this one. I personally try to face cam and meet at a local place several times before ever meeting alone with someone. I haven't had to many experiences because of this but those I have had where great and I have always felt comfortable because I took precautions. You stay safe InexperiencedBrat and have fun out there.

quiin​(sub female) • May 28, 2020

This makes me laugh... I'm just like wtf..

That's like the first red flag is when they bring up sexual stuff so fast.

Draiocht​(dom male) • May 28, 2020

"How old are you?"

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} • May 28, 2020

Just curious why? This is pretty vital identifying information and personally, not being told is a red flag for me. (And please note this is not a personal indictment. Just genuinely curious).

tallslenderguy​(other male) • May 28, 2020

i don't presume to answer for Draiocht, but for myself.

i put my real age in profiles (lots of people lie about their age). There is a part of me that 'gets it,' and i don't want to be with anyone who doesn't equally want to be with me. But for a lot of people, they look at age before the person.

i take lousy pics, but they are current. In person i look younger than i am, so more are interested face to face. i had an amazing connection with a guy once. He picked me up. We ended up hitting it off and spent a weekend together. i fell really hard for Him, and i could tell He liked me (and i'm not easy or simple, so it made my falling for Him that much harder). There was ten years difference in our age and when He found out, He changed completely, like an off switch had been flipped. He was still nice and polite, but i knew i was immediately disqualified.

i read ads on this site, the first sentence: "Looking for guys between 18-28...etc," and then i go to the posters profile and no age is given. Seems to frequently be a double standard. And i do understand that there are people that age matters too and others who it doesn't. Not saying one is right or wrong, but it can be hard to be rejected without being known based solely on age.

Draiocht​(dom male) • May 28, 2020

Thank you for asking Laura. And please don't take my reply as a personal affront. It is not directed at you.

I'm over 18. That is the only age that really matters. Too many people, as well as vanilla dating sites, set arbitrary age limits. I think on POF you cannot search for anyone more than 12 years younger or older. I know plenty of happy couples with much larger discrepancies in age than that. Suppose someone sets a random limit of, idk, 45. And they are chatting with someone and really hit it off and are a perfect match. Then you find out that they are 48. Poof, that's it? Sorry Charlie, you are perfect for me but you missed the cutoff.

If say, George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Harry Connick Jr, or choose your celebrity >50, sent you a PM. Pretend for a moment that it could happen. Would you block them? No two 50 year olds are the same any more than two 25 year olds. Did you see J-Lo at the last Super Bowl?! But I've seen some 20-30-40 year olds in nowhere near that shape.

Personally, I want to know the person, not the number. Suppose they posted everyone's weight, or IQ, or annual income right next to your name? How would people feel about that? Not popular I would wager. I always provide plenty of recent photos so that potential partners can get an idea of my approximate age and physical condition. And am happy to provide face pics one on one. I do understand your caution though. I know that there are a lot of fakes out there and women in particular have to be careful. If someone only has memes or web pictures as their profile you have every right to ask questions.

If you like what you see, and what you hear, does it make a difference if I am 40 or 50? I am just asking people to get to know me as a person. Not look at a number next to my name and automatically write me off. The ones who have given it a chance seem to have been pleasantly surprised

End of rant. Apology for the vociferous reply. TMI?

Road Toad • May 28, 2020

I have 3 things that just make me hit delete.

hi i read your profile - That's nice, move along
Can I have a Picture - Sure! go to google and type in pictures, don't forget to hit the go button!
Hi I'm 18 - Yeah I was 18 once it sucked as I recall


Consider this, intelligence and experience are not the same things.
Intelligence tells you fire will burn.
Experience tells you what fire feels like when you are burned.

So yes age makes a big difference to me. Intelligence will take you a long way, but its the experience that fills in the blanks

While I understand what others are saying and I myself try hard to label people as too young or to old.
I require a certain set of refinements that you normally do not find in younger people. If their parents didn't teach it to them, they haven't learned it yet.
If you learn something from me that is wonderful, but I didn't sign up to be the teacher and for Christ Sake, if you can't even scramble eggs and make pancakes WTF

Richlydefined​(sub female){Gardener} • May 28, 2020

I hate to hear "Can we talk somewhere else? It's hard for me to communicate here but I really want to get to know you."
Having someone tell me that they want to get to know me is just a throwaway redundant comment because generally that's the whole point of starting a conversation with someone.
In my expirence, more often than not whenever someone says that what they really want is to;
1.) Ask me questions until I either get them off or fail their test so that they can ghost out and never speak to me again.
2.) Only talk to me until they can find a good segue into asking for; pictures, sexual favors, money, or what have you, or
3.) Harass me outside of the safe space in which we met.
If someone actually wants to get to know you then they just start to do it wherever they meet you. Genuinely interested people come at me like any other person, they start conversation about something relevant and build a rapport that forms the foundation for future interactions.

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 28, 2020

So many good answers to this question here.

I'll start off w/ stupidity any any form. My girl got a PM with no message at all in the body, just a subject line that asked: "Can you move to Algeria?"

You can read about how we handled that here: https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?postid=34109&blog_id=84871

This guy not only couldn't be bothered to read her profile, (which clearly states she's in a monogamous relationship), couldn't be bothered to read her collar tag, but couldn't even be bothered to actually write a message before asking her to uproot her life, and move to another country! Not only stupid, terminally stupid.

I, also, have been messaged by subs asking me if I'll take them on. Same thing. READ THE PROFILE. The ones who send a PM stating "how are you?", but have *nothing* in their own profile, give nothing to work with. No basis for anything more than a trivial conversation. This is like asking "how's the weather?"

If you want a meaningful conversation, you have to provide *something* upon which to base said conversation. Otherwise it's going to be a pointless waste of time.

Intriguing

DangerouslySafe​(sadist male) • May 28, 2020

That's very interesting.. Not what I would have thought but makes sense too! Although I can't understand why a Dom would say that. I have been asked if I would like to sub and my first thought is did you even look at my profile.

And even though I think this question is more geared toward sub mine would be "will I get paid"