Most men don't blog. Why?

Bunnie • Sep 14, 2020

@ SBD,

I don’t tend to see blogging that way at all. I blog for me. It’s very selfish and self-centred. If others get value from it, great. I’m not advertising anything... and I don’t read others’ blogs with the hopes of getting to know them. I simply take it as face value in being a part of their journey they’re choosing to write about. I write to clarify things for myself... to get it out of my head and somewhere else. Mostly in the hope that I can simply let it go. If someone thinks they can know me because of what I write here, then in all honesty, that’s kind of naive. What about all the stuff I don’t share? And oh boy, there’s a lot I write that I don’t share. I am actually a very private person and I respect that for others too.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Sep 14, 2020

@Bunnie

Well, I did say it was a "small look" inside.

But it helps us get to know each other...be it in small ways or in larger ones.

Some use it to just share poetry they write (which is a small look into their headspace), to share their fustrations (the way they interact with the world), or more deeper thoughts and perceptions (how they thing).

But in some way, it allows us to get to know someone and decide from their if we want to get to know them deeper.

It starts conversations and isn't that the hope of all those single Dom's out there? To find a way to start a conversation?

aemouse​(switch male) • Sep 15, 2020

Hi there! I'm fairly new, but I thought I might give my two sense as well, in the hopes that I might have some insights that, as of yet, have gone undiscussed.

Like I said, I'm new to both this site and BDSM in general, but I think the reason men might not blog as much on here might have something to do with the stigma of sharing feelings, something that has effected me and many of my friends for years. For some reason, it is not seen as "manly" in many circumstances to share what you feel; this is frankly a ridiculous notion, but a persistent one nonetheless. I know for many men, simply acknowledging that they have a "kinky side" online would feel too much like opening up, too fragile to do, made even worse if they actively took steps to make people aware of it.

Of course, this is something that both genders feel, but in my experience, I would say it is more normalized for women to blog about feelings than for men. Naturally, I could be dead wrong, after all, I don't know all that much about this culture, as I have said. If you disagree with me, I'd love to talk about it. I'm always interested in seeing new viewpoints, and of course, in making new friends. Thanks for reading my stupid post!

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Sep 15, 2020

@aemouse

Your points are valid and they cannot be discounted. Yes, in today's society, men are stigmatised for being vulnerable, however, blogs don't all have to be about vulnerability. Blogs can simply be a way to socialise, share creativity, or even just to share interests! It's the participation we are looking for.

Now, I have SEVERAL Dom friends here who not only blog, but are also sharing their vulnerability. To ME, this makes them stronger men, PERIOD.

You try telling a Sadist he"s a weak ass pansy for sharing his feelings and live to tell the tale! Nope! Cause he's not and by sharing his story, *I* have grown stronger myself.

You see, a Dom can be a Dom and help a submissive grow, even when he is not in a dynamic with that submissive. Just...by...being...present.

Orgazmo​(dom male){serenity m} • Sep 15, 2020

I blog and my blogs are usually memes.
I try to be humorous or informative and sometimes both.
I usually keep my blogs brief because I respect my blog readers time and if they don't learn something or laugh well, at least I haven;t wasted a lot of time.

shahh • Sep 15, 2020

I wonder if it's because...in general... Men tend to have a space in the world. Boys are taught to take up space right from childhood and share their opinions...push for what they want...speak up! Girls and women by contrast are very much taught to withhold and be discreet and cater to needs of others (these are generalizations so everyone cool your jets). Men, don't need to write and post on an open forum to express themselves because they've always had the real life space to do so. Women...have not. A vast majority of women express their joy and relief at having a new 'free' space where they can themselves without fear (at least as much). Makes a great deal of sense to me.

WickedDom​(dom male) • Sep 15, 2020

Just a stab, there's probably some correlation between the fact that more women are readers than men. More women journal than men as well. I think they by and large are far more comfortable with the written word as a form of communication. There's also an implied intimacy and openness that comes from blogging and putting your ideas and thoughts into words for mass consumption. Another factor, men, especially Dominant types tend to be stoic and measured. Putting yourself out there, exposing your thoughts and ideas to some extent could be an uncontrollable factor.

emeX​(sub male) • Sep 15, 2020

Chalk one up for the team. i use the blog feature not only to share thought, but as an extension to the limited picture gallery on this site.

if i feel my opinion is different or can add difference i'll post on the forums as well.

As to the OP question 'why men don't blog or forum post'...i cannot possibly answer this question without grossly inaccurate speculation. Thank You.

kajirasubm{On Hiatus } • Sep 15, 2020

I tend to see this as women are more verbal and probably use more words in a day than a man will.
Men have a different style of writing.
Their words tend to be a bit minimalist with maximum effect.

Perhaps the submissives here are tasked to keep a journal of continued growth and exploration. Like an old fashioned diary - except one which is shared.

Also a bit societal in the sense that women have been taught to be more open emotionally than men.

Men have been taught opposite of this.

It will probably or possibly happen during this century - that roles won't be as defined.
There will be more of a freedom of restrictions imposed.

Max Heathen​(other male) • Sep 15, 2020

Short Summery: Don't care about your shit life. I'd rather be gaming.