Does Money Matter?

MrLotus • Nov 29, 2020

One time my sub was attractive older girl. She always had financial problems. I helped her no problem in the beginning felt good also very dominant in all areas of our relationship. Then it looses the intimacy feel like I can do anything to her because I help her financially.I also felt she enjoyed been almost everything done to her pain pleasure etc then I have to pay for it , it’s like all benefits her. Because of that anger disrespect and hate created .didn’t end well. Then my other sub was hated to take dime from me. Even she worked two jobs and she have two kids but she will cry if I pay for the meal when we go out. Both didn’t work out. Now just need balanced energy from both end that meets in the middle.

MalakaiY​(dom male) • Nov 30, 2020

Yes it matters, but it shouldn't though.
This kind of relates to male and female nature.

Women likes to "date up", and men like to "date down".
Women naturally want someone that is stronger, taller, and more powerful than she is.
Similarly, men tend to have a natural instinct to want someone smaller, weaker, and submissive.

Lol. I'm going to call bullshit on all the guys saying that it doesn't matter.
It might matter to you less but it probably still does, because our brains are wired to care about such things.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 30, 2020

'course it matters!

Not to all, but to many.

But it carries some weight in some fashion or other to just about everyone, and those who deny it are either kidding themselves or talking out of their asses.

To that end I do not do relationships. I am a professional, earn what I need, spend frugal and save for that rainy day. Even if some dude comes along with gold coins jingling against his nuts, I honestly do not want to know about how many more he might have stuffed up his crack.

Whether I am personally unwilling to give up my independence for a bump in lifestyle or not, there still are the optics.

Date some guy or gal with deep pockets invariably would have some character viewing me as a gold digger.

What people think of me seldom is an issue, but that's one of them that sticks out, and unlike a good, stiff schlong, not in a good way .

On the opposite side of the equation, being seen with a seedy-looking individual who appears to lack two nickels to rub together ---can make him look like the gold digger and/or me look like some desperate, horny cougar.

Most distasteful.

Tthomas • Nov 30, 2020

Money, like air mainly creates a problem when you do not have any.

I have been in D/s relationships with subs that had a lot of money and some
that had very little. I can not say one was more enjoyable than the other.
Each was different but had nothing to do with their financial state.

For me the D/s relationship is about control. There is nothing more powerful than control.

First and foremost I always want my sub to WANT to be in a relationship with me.
Not HAVE to be because of her financial state.

I have seen other Dominants only secure subs based on their lack of funds.
That's a whole different story and to long to go into here.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 30, 2020

Oh yea, forgot to give my simple answer to this.

I'm poor but I'm happy. Make of that what you will.

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Nov 30, 2020

Dude... you are completely full of crap

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Dec 1, 2020

I am going to eloquently concur with djinni above. I call shenanigans on the comment that men seek out weak and women seek out stronger. I personally seek out strong! But that is because I am strong (for the most part).

I’ve sort of followed this blog but have to point out that effectively, if as a Dominant (male or female) you are comfortable in your role, then it will not matter how much your partner/submissive/slave makes financially. I am very, very comfortable in my skin, so if the one who My heart and soul feels matches me makes ten times my salary, that is not a concern. Money isn’t what I desire they bring to the equation so I’m not going to focus on it. I know what I need to bring to the table in the relationship, and I’m working on those skills all the time.

Regardless of the finances, I want a strong, independent, free-thinking woman who chooses submission to the right one for her. I earn that title with Her and I’ll fight to keep that title until the day I die. And believe me, I will maintain it passionately. So with her intelligence and strong will, it will probably mean the woman is financially established but that isn’t a prerogative either. I guess I want someone my equal or even better than me so I can rise to the occasion to improve myself. I’ve done so in my professional career ten times over, but that pales in comparison to a Dynamic.

I would add that if you feel you are Dominant then that should be who you are and it should carry into your career and life choices, not just in how you hold the crop or play a scene. You should rise to the top of your profession and although money may not be your goal, you should satisfy your professional goals through achievement. If you feel a woman or submissive who makes more money than you do demeans your position as Dominant then get a better job, make more money or look in the mirror as to why this deflates your ego.

Just my thoughts.
LL

Taramafor​(sub male) • Dec 1, 2020

I'm a sub male and I only seek out stronger females.

Buuuuut, sometimes weaker ones will pop up and then you have to work things out.

BOTH males AND females will fall into the trap of blaming each other. Without communication. Without compromise. I push for that. Always.

Currently going through an ugly event like that. But no matter how unpleasant things get, we're talking. That's the important part. To keep talking until you understand each other. Annnnd maybe flee when you feel blamed until brought back. The bringing back moments are kind of nice. Even if someone is pissy. More people could do with doing that.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 2, 2020

SevenSeven
Does Money Matter?

Background: I’m at the end of medical school, considering surgery as my specialty (maybe...ehh I don’t know). So here’s the question. I’ve been told that as a submissive woman who will eventually be somewhat successful financially that I would have a harder time attracting a dominant man who doesn’t make the same amount or more money.

Everyone: Do you agree? What’s your opinion?

Dominant people specifically: Would you shy away from entering a relationship with a submissive you knew made more money than you? Does that matter at all?
..................

It seems that the field of medicine is a tough one. School is tough, training is tough, internship and residency are tough. So by the time you are earning good money and student loan free your money may matter to you much more. You may also seek out other people with advanced degrees because you understand what each other has been through.

Money will matter. And what you went through to earn it.

There will always be those who are with you for the money or your rank as a surgeon and only you can decide where that line is drawn.

MalakaiY​(dom male) • Dec 2, 2020

Apparently, you are too.
Instead of stating what(or which part) you disagree with, which is the point of the discussion, you decide to make a personal attack.
What's wrong? Offended that I have different opinions that you?

With all due respect, if you can't accept that people will have different opinions, you should probably just stay away from conversations all together.