Activity

Activity

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Oct 22, 2023

Im just curious...for such a busy site, the forums are dead. The chat room format sucks so I understand that being quiet. Do people mostly talk in mail or on the premium messenger thing then?

lambsone • Oct 22, 2023

I've only been here a few months so I'm still in exploration mode myself. But the forums do not seem dead to me, just kind of slow in getting responses. There's a lot of material here to read too. I've just skimmed the surface of it. I also read the older forum posts to gain knowledge and get to know how others think etc. Some of them can still be replied to. I don't know what most people do, but my private messages come and go in waves. Sometimes nothing, then 2 or 3 at once will want to interract. So, I occupy the dead times with further investigating all that the site has to offer.

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 22, 2023

There are 3 or 4 guys who exchange messages with me--- blissfully without agenda-- and that's why I come in here most of the time.

I have seen over the years I have been a member that the forums have an ebb and flow about them. There will be "slow" times like this. Other times a number of people-- usually newer-- come up with some pretty thought-provoking and/or engaging forum topics.

It was livelier when I joined, but that was when the site only recently went international.

Anyway at the end of next month it'll be 6 years. This was the new and shiny thing in the digital toy box. It's only natural the site settles into a routine of sorts. But hang in there, as I said, ebb-and-flow.

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I cannot speak to the state of the chat room, or the personal section for that matter as neither doorstep have I darkened. Not my thing.

I am the world's lousiest "real-time" would-be chat participant. I would run out of things to say within a minute and loathe the boredom that permeates me as I either try to come up with or await a reply. I'd much rather visit the fucking dentist.

The personals? As I have written on other threads, as I am Not Looking, the personals section is about as useful to me as a boat in a desert

(Or the top-of-the-line premium Bose sound system that came with the car I bought --- that I can't hear to save my freakin' life.)

Ahh but I suppose when I give someone a lift they can put on whatever they want and it can't possibly annoy me.

Re: Activity

Sololoquy • Oct 22, 2023

I've been here a couple of weeks and it feels pretty slow to me too. I mostly read older threads and write blog posts. I have things I'd like to ask or have asked and it sometimes feels to me like BDSM is so huge that out of those who are active, maybe only a small percentage will find it relatable enough to reply, or maybe they've seen the same questions arise before. It's difficult because threads close after 12 months and I've found older threads I'd love to continue but can't.

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Oct 22, 2023

Thanks all, that makes sense.

Miki I've read a few of your posts and adore the way you write and speak. You make me laugh ♡

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 22, 2023

Thanks, Luv. (as roomie would say)

Since I signed up at the end of Nov 2017 threads have indeed more often than not been variations on a theme.

The one I seem to see most is repeat requests for advice RE a relationship where one wants a BDSM dynamic and the other not.

Or worse a married couple where one of them decides they want to be twisted and the other one "vanilla" (I actually hate that word. It smacks of condescension. I usually put "mainstream" )

By the way, there is only one answer to that. The one who wants a BDSM element in the relationship has but 2 choices. Do without or move on to another relationship.

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@sololoquy-- Here's a thought. If you see a thread of interest that has aged out / closed and don't see any more-recent ones that are still open, start a new one asking for new or different input, and paste a link to the old, closed thread. You might get new feedback, you might not, it's a crap-shoot but at least you give it a try.

LordofPain56 • Oct 25, 2023

I've been a member here since 2017, and the activity seems fairly constant to me, but I only go into the forums. The other stuff, like chat, I have not been into. But in all fairness, I don't login every day either.

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 25, 2023

I only go to forums as well, and respond to the occasional private message but it's not been constant. There were a number of times each year when there is absolutely nothing engaging posted. There was a period earlier in the year in fact where all they had was "forum games".

Now, for instance there is more of interest to at least read if not post to. After a time it will slow. Understandably so this time of year when people have a lot to do in or outside the house and online stuff gets the back burner.

But that is only my perspective. I only post where I feel I can put something useful or make a point. Other threads I might read a couple posts and move on, or if the thread title is completely outside my interests or experience I won't even read the posts.

It's all a buffet kind of thing. Take what you like, leave the rest. Invariably someone will chime in.

Steellover​(sub male) • Oct 25, 2023

I've never really visited the chat rooms, don't really browse the personals, and mainly stick to the forums and blog posts. There is mostly a good active group here but of course I'm always excited about new blood and new perspectives.

K y i v • Oct 25, 2023

You really need premium to get the advantages and much more contact.