Humiliation and Degradation Questions

Humiliation and Degradation Questions

SirsProperty​(sub female){TX Alpha's} • Nov 17, 2023

Hello Everyone! Hope this post finds you well.

I have a few questions about Humiliation and Degradation for those who participate in them. My questions are for both Dominants and Submissives.

Do you use Humiliation / Degradation in your dynamic?

Which type and how?

Subs: How did you know when you reached your absolute limit or did you have a break through? How did you handle your response?

Dominants: How did you know when your sub reached their absolute limit? What did you do next?

I look forward to reading about your experience, having a discussion and learning from you. Thank You!

Lovingly Strict​(dom female) • Nov 17, 2023

Yes, I love humiliation and degradation. It's so intoxicating for me to humiliate and degrade another woman for my own enjoyment. It's mentally stimulating for me to have a woman beneath my feet serving me. Sends shock waves through my mind.

I don't use humiliation to try and break them past their set limits. The sound of that doesn't sit well with me. It shouldn't be used as a tool to try and see how far a sub would go for you. But instead, be a tool that brings you both pleasure from it. Even if one person is super embarrassed and red from doing it.

I never had a sub that couldn't handle my humiliation and degradation. However, some will speak up and say that they don't like being called certain names/titles. I would hope and also expect them to speak up if they are uncomfortable with something that I had tasked them with.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Nov 17, 2023

I've experienced this in various ways. I think many subs would say that, in the hands of the right dominant (someone they respect, trust, and feel at least affection with) sexual humiliation can be as hot as hell. Being told what a needy, greedy little whore you are, how desperate for cock/cunt/touch you are, etc.

Beyond sexual humiliation, I think it gets much more tricky. You have to be in the right dynamic, and I've found i have to be intensely connected to the man in question, and know that he's behaving in that way to push me, whilst knowing how to bring me back to emotional safety.

And then there are the (rather foolish FOR ME) games where a dominant might tell you you are stupid, or a dumb cunt, or worthless. I've never appreciated or enjoyed those games because my response is, 'well if I'm a dumb cunt and a useless whore, the joke is on you, because why would you want to be with me?!' and I know perfectly well I am not stupid, dumb, or worthless.

'Good humiliation play' requires the dominant to know the submissive very well, and to push at things they know the submissive is sensitive about. But to also know how to pick up the pieces afterwards.

SirsProperty​(sub female){TX Alpha's} • Nov 17, 2023

Thank you for your replies..... Please know that I was asking more about a submissive exploring, learning, and breaking their own limitations, not a Dominant breaking a threshold or limit.

And, great point on mentioning the depth of the connection, respect, trust, and affection needed for the more intense types of humiliation.

Thank you again for taking the time to share your feelings, experience and opinions here. I am grateful and appreciate your responses.

Bunnie • Nov 17, 2023

Degradation was a big part of O/our dynamic, and I loved it
The most obvious examples would be Sir pissing on me (oftentimes when I was clothed), licking his ass, licking his balls while he ignored me and masturbated to porn, him spitting on my face, being called names/spoken to in a degrading manner.

Humiliation wasn’t something we dabbled in as much (although it definitely crossed into the degradation aspects also), but had begun exploring a little more. An example of that was being told to pull my panties to my knees, bend over, and pee myself while he caned me. (I absolutely loved this!).

To be honest I’ve not yet hit any limits in this regard. As I quite enjoy being made uncomfortable, I’m not sure where my limits lay (but am by no means saying I wouldn’t have any).

And every session felt a bit like a breakthrough though… kind of a deepening into myself. It felt to me also like a deepening of the bond between U/us.

Hope this answers your question and helps with any curiosity

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 17, 2023

Though I never was or will be in an "official" dynamic, (unless short term, non-committal weekend flings count as such) ---But be that as it may I thrive on both. I believed it was my duty to be humiliated and degraded in the proper settings where putting me in my place pleased the dominant.

(Not in public or at work outside the bedroom or dungeon I am stubbornly independent)

I have been "inactive" going on 5 years now, but not because anyone broke me.

Perhaps sooner or later I would have reached a limit, as everyone has one, but I didn't play around long enough to find out.

I took great erotic pleasure from being in a slave role. As I am Bi, I have served both, but men and women have different ways of going about a total domination role, with women tending to be harder on me.

Lovingly Strict​(dom female) • Nov 17, 2023

This was so unbelievably hot to read. Bunnie you have done things that I have only dreamed of doing. I would love to hear more about your experiences with humiliation and degradation.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 17, 2023

Degradation/humiliation (D&H) is major 'collaring place' in me. i call it a "collaring place" because, to me, "collaring" is the essence of possession.

Like with others though, it cannot be rote or generic. There has to be compatibility of mutual need/desire. So often bullies use D&H in a way to me that is compensatory. Bullying and force always come off as compensation, a cover for lack, inadequacy (note, i know some people do not perceive it that way, thus the emphasis on this being personal/individual vs "generic").

i think many label the Dom as having and the sub as needing. To me the ideal dynamic is balanced. Both have needs, just from opposite sides.

i've written about this in The Cage before, but for me one of the most powerful ways for me to express/experience D&H is through piss. It can get complex. For me, it can be a huge turn on when a Dom is a little shy, tentative, but still open about His desire/need. "Tentative/shy" vs entitled or forceful (at least, initially ).

The first time a Man pissed in me was a FB Who knew me well. He bred me on a routine basis. i was always waiting for Him naked, prone/ass up on my bed with my door open. He'd walk in, mount and breed me (with variations), pull out and leave. On one occasion, after His orgasm, He stayed in deep and i could feel the weight of His body relax on me... which i love/d. i felt both secure and captive beneath Him, Him penetrating me... sort of possessed. Then i felt His Cock sorta twitch and started to feel a warm full feeling inside and realized He was pissing in me. At first, i was startled and my body stiffened... but again, He was taking a risk, but not being presumptuous, He knew me well and knew how to work me. He whispered in my ear (which always gets me lol) and practically pleaded to let me do it, telling me how good it felt for Him, "...like a long orgasm." That got me, not only did i relax and receive it, i got turned on by His pleasure and expressed desire. my wiring connects to those things in a Man, He doesn't need to bully or force, and His vulnerability brings out the sub in me like nothing else. And He knew it. As soon as He read my response, He stepped further: "you like that.?" It was a cross between a statement and a question, but He got me to admit i did.

As soon as i admitted i liked it, and He saw i was turned on, He had solid ground to build on and added: "you like when piss in you, don't you?" When i admitted "yes," He went further and asked/stated: " would you like to be my toilet?" More and more He is accessing and using D&H with each affirmation. After, He plugged me and 'asked' me to hold it in as long as i could (i slept with it in over night). He explained that i would absorb His piss and when i peed i would smell the scent of His piss in my pee, He told me i'd be "impregnated" by Him. (He was right, the colon absorbs it and i could smell HIs piss in my pee).
After that, He obviously took a lot of pleasure in calling me His toilet and talking about my wanting His piss. He was never mean about it, obviously pleased... maybe a little amused by it, but never in a mean way. The D&H came from a deep awareness of how much control He had with me, even with something like His piss, which normally is considered waste and dirty.
That was only the beginning of it.

Bunnie • Nov 17, 2023

@Lovingly Strict,

So many fun things await you! And I agree, it’s pretty hot


@tallslenderguy,

Yes! I love that mixture of affection thrown in there too nasty words spoken with a soft voice, face caresses etc.
And being peed in is definitely on my “to try” list. I love how you describe it.

Steellover​(sub male) • Nov 18, 2023

If I could trade places with Bunnie, but my dominant lover would be female instead of male- that would indeed be hot. She basically nailed my kinks.
Being used and degraded (by the right person in the right setting) is hot as heck! Just the thought of being with someone that much stronger and more powerful than you, to whom you are attracted, is part of the turn on. Toilet games (I won't get too explicit here I promise!) can also be seen as, if you are no more than a vessel to take care of someone's, uh, bodily functions, then it is highly erotic in the sense that a) you are still taking care of someone's intimate needs and b) it is degrading and taboo, and c) shows a level of devotion to your dominant that is far beyond where most lovers would go. (But obviously it is certainly not for everyone!)