Drinfear(dom male){Owns PFP}
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10 months ago •
Jan 20, 2024
HELL yes!! Where IS the bunny?!?! (like I know with My 5ish hours on this site who the hell bunny is)
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Online now
lambsone
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10 months ago •
Jan 20, 2024
I brought this post to my Master's attention this evening mainly from curiosity to know if he had any emotional responses when I thank him. I thank him for spending time with me, for tasks he gives me when he gives them and I thank him for giving me the tasks after I have done them. If he praises me, I thank him. I do it out of respect and also to let him know that I've heard him.
He did not say that he had any emotional responses, but that he considers it common courtesy. We were both raised that way. He does this with his customers in his business. Calls them Sir or Mam, etc. I don't know if he will elaborate about this himself or not. He likes to read posts, but would rather not participate in them. I, on the other hand, do react emotionally when he tells me that I please him, or that I'm beautiful, or calls me an endearing name. And it makes me want to please him more. And I do hope that my calling him Sir or Master, will make him happy. If I don't add these titles in my text responses to him though, he points it out. So I know he's expecting it. I even got a writing assignment once when I didn't. "I will always answer with Sir." 100x LOL! That assignment at least let me know that it was important to him. Well that's my 2 cents. |
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Sweetlydepraved(masochist female){I Guess }
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10 months ago •
Jan 20, 2024
I thank Daddy for all kinds of things, from giving me orders to taking my advice on taking care of himself (since I can’t be there).
I also make it a point once a month or so to tell him all the ways I’m grateful for him, and all the things about him that I love and admire. I do this so he always knows how loved, valued, and respected he is. I also do this because every one needs to hear the good things about themselves that they often forget about. |
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SchrodingersDinosaur(switch female){N/a}
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10 months ago •
Jan 20, 2024
I think it’s more about the *rules of engagement* in one’s particular relationship. There was a couple in the group I was a part of that sounds very similar to relationship described by Drinfear. (Welcome to our corner of the Lifestyle, btw. Hope you enjoy your journey here!) There are definitely Dominants that don’t care to hear the softness or sweetness, it changes the experience for them in some meaningful way.
I don’t claim to understand it as I’m not wired that way in either Domme or sub mode, but having seen that couples’ bond to one another, either would have walked through fire for the other, I would wager it can be as strong a dynamic style as any other. I think like many of the other parts of that which we do, it’s more a matter of two (or more in poly situations) of people whose styles of communication/ love languages coordinate. |
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aPeepingMom(sub female)
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10 months ago •
Jan 20, 2024
Drinfear wrote: I have been living the lifestyle for almst 30 years now (Jan 24th. 2023 is My 30 year Anniversary) I can HONESTLY say that in that time, I have NEVER had a switch/sub/slave/pet/little tell Me thank you for doing the duties My contract laid out as My respon.. Wait.. My current little was accosted by a customer at work almost 2 years ago.. he mistook her for someone else, but him confronting her put her in a manic spiral so bad all she could do was curl up in a ball and cry.. I was there within 4 minutes, and had the customer still been there, he would STILL be under one on one care of a DAMN good doctor, or hed be in a box in the ground.. SHE actually thanked Me for Protecting her.. Tyhe one and ONLY time I remember having that happen..
This breaks my heart. I’m not entirely sure why, but it does. I thank my Sir often for so many things. I thank him for his patience. I thank him for his guidance. I thank him for the way he treats me and the way he makes me feel. I can’t imagine not telling him how happy and grateful I am for him. My heart hurts just thinking about him not knowing how thankful I am. My heart hurts thinking about you not being told thank you for the role you played in your past subs’ lives. To answer TD’s original question, I think it is absolutely ok (and warranted) for a Dom/me to have a praise kink. There is no shame in feeling warmth and pleasure when you’re told “thank you.” There is no weakness in craving that, or any type of validation that you are doing your job as a Dom. Because my greatest pleasure is knowing I give my Dom such pleasure. Knowing that He feels loved and appreciated by me - that he knows it and feels it and wants more of it - makes me want to continuing serving and pleasing and thanking him for taking care of me. If my gratitude wasn’t desired, if my thankfulness wasn’t appreciated, I wouldn’t be able to give him my all. I would feel used and unappreciated in return. I guess my point is that a Dom craving a “thank you” like a sub craving a “good girl” does not make them any less Domly or in control. For me, it heightens the control they have over me. Everyone deserves to feel appreciated and everyone should want nothing less than having that. Just like I would tell a sub: “if your Dom does not appreciate the service, submission, and pleasure you give Him, you deserve better”, I will also tell a Dom: “if your sub does not appreciate the guidance, structure, and pleasure you give her, you deserve better” |
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I'mME
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10 months ago •
Jan 20, 2024
Drinfear wrote: I do what I do, in life AND the Lifestyle because it is who I was hand groomed to be.. Just like My stories and or poetry, it's just something I do.. I do not need or even want recognition, just like giving a homeless person money.. To ME, it feels like recognition is wrong.. I get MY pleasure from HER experience, and that's enough for Me.. Anything else would feel, AGAIN to ME, like I was getting something for the things I SHOULD be doing always,.. Thank you, SnowMinx for bringing up a topic that raises so much debate..
Drinfear, What debate? I say thank you, please you are welcome, may I , sometimes can I, depends on the situation, along with other manners, since I can remember. So what, a Dom would tell me to stop! That would be ridiculous, below ridiculous. And of course a Dom can get excited, feel warm, fuzzy. |
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ThirtyFourPointFive
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10 months ago •
Jan 23, 2024
After sex at times I will get "Wow, that was a good one". Or "I like what you did there at the end, please do that again!"
While I appreciate the information, I am not lookin for a thank you.. I get my rush out of her obedience and her efforts at wringing out every orgasm possible in the time available. I consider Her orgasms and her efforts to obtain them, thanks enough. When I self analyse it, i am probably seeking it out as an ego boost and a presonal indicator of my sexual prowess, but it is not something I do consciously. Thanks for reading ...G All public and private non sexual activities are expected to be polite and kind at all times.. G |
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I'mME
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10 months ago •
Jan 23, 2024
aPeepingMom wrote: Drinfear wrote: I have been living the lifestyle for almst 30 years now (Jan 24th. 2023 is My 30 year Anniversary) I can HONESTLY say that in that time, I have NEVER had a switch/sub/slave/pet/little tell Me thank you for doing the duties My contract laid out as My respon.. Wait.. My current little was accosted by a customer at work almost 2 years ago.. he mistook her for someone else, but him confronting her put her in a manic spiral so bad all she could do was curl up in a ball and cry.. I was there within 4 minutes, and had the customer still been there, he would STILL be under one on one care of a DAMN good doctor, or hed be in a box in the ground.. SHE actually thanked Me for Protecting her.. Tyhe one and ONLY time I remember having that happen..
This breaks my heart. I’m not entirely sure why, but it does. I thank my Sir often for so many things. I thank him for his patience. I thank him for his guidance. I thank him for the way he treats me and the way he makes me feel. I can’t imagine not telling him how happy and grateful I am for him. My heart hurts just thinking about him not knowing how thankful I am. My heart hurts thinking about you not being told thank you for the role you played in your past subs’ lives. To answer TD’s original question, I think it is absolutely ok (and warranted) for a Dom/me to have a praise kink. There is no shame in feeling warmth and pleasure when you’re told “thank you.” There is no weakness in craving that, or any type of validation that you are doing your job as a Dom. Because my greatest pleasure is knowing I give my Dom such pleasure. Knowing that He feels loved and appreciated by me - that he knows it and feels it and wants more of it - makes me want to continuing serving and pleasing and thanking him for taking care of me. If my gratitude wasn’t desired, if my thankfulness wasn’t appreciated, I wouldn’t be able to give him my all. I would feel used and unappreciated in return. I guess my point is that a Dom craving a “thank you” like a sub craving a “good girl” does not make them any less Domly or in control. For me, it heightens the control they have over me. Everyone deserves to feel appreciated and everyone should want nothing less than having that. Just like I would tell a sub: “if your Dom does not appreciate the service, submission, and pleasure you give Him, you deserve better”, I will also tell a Dom: “if your sub does not appreciate the guidance, structure, and pleasure you give her, you deserve better” @aPeepingMom What a beautifully, well written answer. It touched on many of the things that were in my head when I read the forum post/question. Praise can/is a kink. Appreciation, love, voicing thanks both ways are not kinks. They are things people feel and express in many ways. |
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GiannaRay(sub female)
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10 months ago •
Jan 24, 2024
Hmmmmm if anything in general I thank people a lot. Maybe too much. It’s how I was raised. To make sure people know I appreciate them. But that’s a different discussion.
I agree with others that have said that it’s not so much a kink as a sense of acknowledging you and someone appreciating you. Like your boss who makes sure to tell you when you do a good job. You should be doing a good job anyway, as long as you have a good work ethic etc, but doesn’t it sure feel good when that’s seen and acknowledged ? It makes me kinda sad that you’ve had so little experience with it. |
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