Masks

Masks

aPeepingMom​(sub female) • Feb 16, 2024

I saw a great blog about "masks" and a couple of comments that make me wonder: do we all wear masks and if so, what types of masks do we wear?

I believe that we ALL wear them, depending on the situation. I don't say that to mean that a mask is always meant to betray or mislead, but to be appropriate for the given situation. Instead of the term "mask", think of it like a demeanor, attitude, or way of dress.

For instance - I have a specific mask I wear when I meet with clients. It's more reserved, quiet, and thoughtful than my comfort zone. I have to mentally prepare for meetings with clients so I can don this mask. I don't wear this mask to be disingenuous, but because I have a specific role to play in that meeting and I want to be on point. This is just one example of a professional mask I wear to work every singe day.

So tell me, what masks do you wear?

meowineedhelp​(sadist trans man) • Feb 16, 2024

Tbh, honest i don't enjoy wearing masks - unless we are talking about the scary ones in Halloween... you know the ones with blood and flesh type of thing - which i believe its not the type of mask you're referring to, but needless to say... i do enjoy wearing scary masks...the kind that have the potential to bring any man to his or her knees.

I digress, the masks ur talking about seem to be related to ones own personal internal state in direct conflict with his or her immediate environment. I think every person will experience discomfort not once, but many, many, many, times in life. Does that mean we are wearing a "mask" to deal, cope or manage these very uncomfortable situations? Not necessarily imo.

Your character is what always seems to shine through and it is through a variety of life situations that other people will notice it too. You can call this a 'mask'... your 'character'... you can call this 'you' anything...but always let another be the judge because it is through another's eyes that we get to see our selves.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 16, 2024

I don't refer to facets of my personality as "masks". I am not hiding a damned thing.

One would approach a business contact in a different manner than an old friend. One would interact with parents in quite a different manner than school chums or creatures you (rhet) hang out with on the street or in the school yard.

One would not speak of ((general reference as I cannot talk anyway) the adventures of years gone by with a client nor would one be well advised to approach friends or, for those to which it applies, lovers as a potential business transaction.

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Perhaps I am misreading the original post, I do that from time to time, but it looks to me that implying that "we all wear masks"---- is crap. Maybe some do, but I do not have one-size-fits-all comportment, but again, I am not hiding a bloody thing.

Best bet: --- Delete the word "all".

sissy rosie • Feb 16, 2024

Well, I suspect I'm autistic (albeit with low support needs), so masking is part of the package. I've certainly had moments where I've turned down human interaction because I've been in a comfortable space and talking on the phone/via Discord would require me to move out of that. I'm still learning what's the mask and what's my genuine self, though.

In a more general fashion, we all wear masks to an extent and show parts of ourselves depending on how well we know the people we're with. I'm much quieter with people I don't know, than those I feel I can be more myself with.

lambsone • Feb 16, 2024

I think when we were created, we gained the ability to portray different emotions via our facial expressions. It's just natural to do this and a normal part of communication.

Via social conditioning, we learn what expressions work in different situations and with different people, and what do not.

For example, if you were disciplining a child, you would have a serious look on your face in order to communicate that you weren't happy with their behavior. In business scenarios. A client wants to know they can trust you to do your job and do right by them. You might have a slightly serious look on your face to communicate that you don't treat their need flippantly.

I think of situations in war or criminal activity, etc where people need to keep their expressions a certain way in order to not raise suspicions and maybe get themselves killed, as another legitimate need that we might feel is disingenuous but necessary.

It's all part of the communication process, and at times it might feel disingenuous only because we have to fit the scenario at the time.

I guess unless a person is out to deceive another by putting on a certain expression to get a certain outcome from them for evil intent, I would simply refer to it as an expression rather than a mask.

stairwaytoheaven​(dom male) • Feb 16, 2024

I think in a sense you are right, we all don masks at some point. I deal with people every day who I do not like, I have to don a mask for this because without it I would not have a job. I wear my heart on my sleeve when I deal with people in public or with friends, I am who I am, like me or don't. If you don't stand in line because you are not the only one, but the other line will always be longer because I am genuine. In business it is different, sometimes you have to play the game, don the mask (albeit distasteful) to maintain a business relationship. I will never compromise my principles nor fail to stand up for myself or others, but sometimes you have to pick your battles.

I'mME • Mar 9, 2024

Miki, ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

SUCCINCT.

I'mME • Mar 9, 2024

sissy Rosie,
That is not a mask, that's part of your personality.

aradialspire​(dom femme) • Mar 9, 2024

I think they're referring to "autistic masking", where a person on the spectrum will hide (either consciously or subconsciously) their autistic traits from others so they appear neurotypical. It's more of a survival skill/adaptation to avoid harm than it is a personality trait.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Mar 9, 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5ofVsxTPoc