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tallslenderguy​(other male)
7 months ago • Apr 17, 2024
A Minx wrote:
O-M-G! @tallslenderguy, you are such a shining beacon of light, you are a consistent guiding force here on thecage and I think you are a fucking genius! šŸ˜

LUST! I get it now... why I didn't consider THAT now kind of embarasses me!

You are no token tall slender guy, you are a total gem! šŸ’Ž You unselfishly share some of the most insightful, intelligently thoughtful and benevolent advice and information... I could "read" you all day!

And, I totally understand where you are coming from when you mentioned you "interpret that as his expression of need/desire, and if he is expressing it towards me, it evokes a receiving place in me that wants him back". You also noted, "it's the drive/need of the Man attached to the cock is what I want" and "Im craving his orgasm/pleasure/release inside of me". That, for me, is all part and parcel... and may even be the very definition of lust!

Thank You very much for your point of view, it has helped me to understand a "guy brain" just a little bit better! šŸ˜Š

A.


Thanks Mom!!
(just kidding everyone, i'm old enough to be Minx's... brother)

Seriously, you are so kind and generous Minx. You made my day. i know none of my observations are universally true, the sexual spectrum is so filled with infinite variety, but there do seem to be things true in groups... a same thread that runs through different tapestries?
i was married to a woman for 31 years while processing out of religious conditioning. i learned that so many attributes that we assign to men or women don't always hold true. Turned out my former wife and i were both bottom and both had a healthy dose of sub. But even with the similarities, she needed to have her own individual orgasm as well as an orgasm from a man. i'm wired in a way where sharing one orgasm between us (His) is very fulfilling and hughly bonding for me. Not many get it, but the few that have, wow. i've gone 4 years with one Man Who breeds me regularly (couple times a week) and i have never once had an orgasm of my own with Him, nor has He tried to give me one. When He has His orgasm inside of me, it's like it transfers from Him to me and His orgasm becomes mine. There's also a sort of release for me, and not release, at the same time. The release is a temporary sating, like refractory, where i can go awhile without His orgasm, and at the same time there's an ongoing desire for Him. i find it incredibly bonding, and it never gets old or routine. i think that is part of my not having my own orgasm, it keeps the desire at a level where i feel occupied, sort of possessed (in a good way). Hard to articulate.
I'mME
7 months ago • Apr 18, 2024
I'mME • Apr 18, 2024
A Minx wrote:
O-M-G! @tallslenderguy, you are such a shining beacon of light, you are a consistent guiding force here on thecage and I think you are a fucking genius! šŸ˜

LUST! I get it now... why I didn't consider THAT now kind of embarasses me!

You are no token tall slender guy, you are a total gem! šŸ’Ž You unselfishly share some of the most insightful, intelligently thoughtful and benevolent advice and information... I could "read" you all day!

And, I totally understand where you are coming from when you mentioned you "interpret that as his expression of need/desire, and if he is expressing it towards me, it evokes a receiving place in me that wants him back". You also noted, "it's the drive/need of the Man attached to the cock is what I want" and "Im craving his orgasm/pleasure/release inside of me". That, for me, is all part and parcel... and may even be the very definition of lust!

Thank You very much for your point of view, it has helped me to understand a "guy brain" just a little bit better! šŸ˜Š

A.


@tallslenderguy

Ditto what @A minx wrote..

I have told you several times I really enjoy your insights on topics.

Isn't that the purpose of forums?

At least that was my take on it so many years ago.
LatexHer​(dom male)
6 months ago • Apr 24, 2024
LatexHer​(dom male) • Apr 24, 2024
As a Strait Dom, I get a multitude of people sending me letters, and all too often I get them from Gay or bisexual men into rubber/latex showing their junk in a photo. I wouldn't say I like it when dudes attempt to sway me from being Strait myself by sending photos of their only toy. This is partially due to my taking the screen name LATEXHER, so they ASSume, that I am all into gay latex. NOT So. The name comes from my having had several relationships with women in the medical profession. I did develop a fetish for submissive Ladies who like to wear shiny clothing - latex, Leather, PVC, Vinyl, etc.
Most Dominatrixes (Mistresses) I know do not wish to see photos of men showing off their junk, so I've been told several times!

The same goes for ladies who send photos of their spreads, I would rather look at some nicely taken photographs of them wearing a form-fitting dress or even a summer dress. Explicit nudity may come later should conversations and interests express the need to do so as two grown mature adults. Learned long ago that any photos taken by me need to be watermarked to avoid photo thieves. I always encourage a woman Not to send verifiable photos of them showing their faces over the internet. Posting photos of one's self is fine - just remember that the internet NEVER FORGETS! icon_sad.gif

FYI - Began my journey into D/s B&d, and fetish play in the mid-60s! Yup, I am as old as Stone!
balloonkotinsp
6 months ago • Apr 24, 2024
balloonkotinsp • Apr 24, 2024
Thank goodness, I have never sent a dick pic. Or taken one for that matter. And truth be told, I'd be taken aback be a female when posts pics of a very graphic nature on their profile. I've seen some tasteful ones, which is fine I guess. So I guess I agree with the post-er. I think you have to work up to something like that.
intenseoldman​(dom male)
6 months ago • Apr 25, 2024
intenseoldman​(dom male) • Apr 25, 2024
Can't sleep and reading this thread hasn't made me any drowsier... I thought it would be a chorus of women complaining about men who think dick pics are as perfunctory a part of an introduction as "hi, how are you?" Yeah.. I guess now it's "See my dick... I want to fuck you." As if you didn't know... well there's living proof of my desire, or not, (depends on my soldier"s state of readiness.) I don't know. I guess I'm old fashioned. Never ever randomly have I just sent a dick pic. I mean yeah... I have upon request... but it's always been an equal exchange. I'd really rather not have my wang out there for public consumption. Besides if you don't want to see it, I don't want to show it to you. However, I gather from reading this I'm not most men.

I share pics of myself that give someone a good enough representation of what I look like that they can decide if they want to talk to me. Physical attraction matters, and it ought to be gotten out of the way asap. Current pics should be available right away before you dive into something you don't want to be in when you find out there's no physical attraction. But do I need to see your vagina, and do you need to see my dick before we meet? Well just speaking for myself, what your vagina looks like, unless it has teeth, I am almost 100 percent certain, is not going to be a deal breaker. Your body might, though, and so might my chipped tooth... and we should all accept that or not be looking for someone until we've accepted ourselves and can face rejection. I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's fine. I'm someone's and they're mine and everyone else can...

Ok, I'm going to bed.
tallslenderguy​(other male)
6 months ago • Apr 25, 2024
intenseoldman wrote:
Can't sleep and reading this thread hasn't made me any drowsier... I thought it would be a chorus of women complaining about men who think dick pics are as perfunctory a part of an introduction as "hi, how are you?" Yeah.. I guess now it's "See my dick... I want to fuck you." As if you didn't know... well there's living proof of my desire, or not, (depends on my soldier"s state of readiness.) I don't know. I guess I'm old fashioned. Never ever randomly have I just sent a dick pic. I mean yeah... I have upon request... but it's always been an equal exchange. I'd really rather not have my wang out there for public consumption. Besides if you don't want to see it, I don't want to show it to you. However, I gather from reading this I'm not most men.

I share pics of myself that give someone a good enough representation of what I look like that they can decide if they want to talk to me. Physical attraction matters, and it ought to be gotten out of the way asap. Current pics should be available right away before you dive into something you don't want to be in when you find out there's no physical attraction. But do I need to see your vagina, and do you need to see my dick before we meet? Well just speaking for myself, what your vagina looks like, unless it has teeth, I am almost 100 percent certain, is not going to be a deal breaker. Your body might, though, and so might my chipped tooth... and we should all accept that or not be looking for someone until we've accepted ourselves and can face rejection. I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's fine. I'm someone's and they're mine and everyone else can...

Ok, I'm going to bed.


Great input, i'm glad you added your perspective to the mix.

i lived a hetero life for half my life while i was processing out of conditioning that had me trapped in the notion i couldn't be gay. my story is scattered all over The Cage. Just a preface to point out i have extensive hetero experience to go along with my extensive gay experience (not bi on the spectrum here).

i wonder how many straight (or non gay) people would find a gay site surprisingly educational on this topic? i find that even sites where the creator (not "God") is trying to make a place that is not primarily sexual, typically becomes mostly about sex, given half an opportunity. Do a google search of "gay meeting sites" and then visit them. You will find the majority of profile pics lead with a "cock" or "ass" pic. Guys posting face pics are in the minority, and usually have the sexy naked pics posted in 'the gallery" or some other such provided space. Even on 'relationship' or 'dating' sites, half the profiles have zero information, just a naked pic.

i'm a romantic who happens to want a relationship with a Guy, but it is so hard to find. In my experience when you put a bunch of guys together, sex becomes the overarching theme and goal. And i don't think this is an exclusively gay phenomena, there are a lot of straight and bi guys on those sites looking strictly for hook up sex.

You note your (the?) need/desire for attraction. i find that is more a factor in the gay community when it comes to an ongoing 'relationship,' but when it comes to hook up sex, the primary focus is cock or ass. Go to those sites and you will find many who do not care about "attraction" at all, all they are interested in is sex and the focus becomes the sex organs.

Given the sexual spectrum, i think many of this 'type' of guy is on any meet up site and they are going to lead with their 'cock,' because sex is all many are interested in, so they 'reduce' their approach and expression to what they want: sex.
intenseoldman​(dom male)
6 months ago • Apr 25, 2024
intenseoldman​(dom male) • Apr 25, 2024
Yeah... I'd agree if you lead with your genitals, you just want sex, and looks don't matter. I am not surprised that a bunch of men together would lead to sex becoming the overarching theme and goal. That has a lot to do with hormones.

Men are more prone to separate sex and relationship. Sex is a dopamine rush for us. It's a pure pleasure high which is much different than the oxytocin rush a woman experiences. There is pleasure in female orgasm but also pleasure from cuddling, nurturing and bonding. Not that a man doesn't want to bond, but intimacy isn't a very necessary component for us to have sex. We can easily seperate sex and relationship... we don't need intamacy to have sex, whereas women are more prone not to desire one without the other.

I could be full of shit but that's my limited understanding of Mars and Venus.

When it comes to genitals in your face, that's the dopamine in us talking. It's an awesome high, easily addictive. It's what drives us to spread our seed. Being able to hide yourself behind a keyboard, the Internet becomes a glory hole for a man to stick his dick in to see what happens.

Women might find it repulsive because it's asking for sex without intimacy which might even offend them. I'm sure ....not every woman is repulsed, and there's no consequences anyway, only reward. So dick pics aren't likely to go away.

We're also human beings with some faculty of reasoning and empathy functioning within us, but dopamine is powerful enough to overpower all that and reduce us to our animal instincts.

For those of us who restrain our animal, there's a slow secretion of dopamine in the build up and bonding that sustains us. Some of us just aren't dicks. We're hearts, minds and souls, that need fed as much as the animal within...

enough... just if anyone knows more about the hormonal aspect of this, please share.
fluffypoppet​(sub female){Protected}
6 months ago • Apr 25, 2024
Maybe it is the demisexual in me, but I think photos of faces are more telling and more welcome than photos of random appendages.

I am quick to give photos of my face for proof of life. The first photo I'm willing to share is one someone can mirror the pose and return with a photo of their own. It is a good bonding exercise and it also provides a little more safety.
VerboseVixenWVA{No}
6 months ago • Apr 29, 2024
VerboseVixenWVA{No} • Apr 29, 2024
Personally, Iā€™m with you. Iā€™m in Fet. Also in a Kik room. We have wang Wednesday so the men can fly their flag. Woman for the most part, are not visual creatures. What can you do for me, not what can ya show me. At the same time, on Tuesdays I fly my tits. Sometimes modestly, sometimes the whole enchilada. I do that for me though. Great question, thanks
kyubii​(dom male)
6 months ago • Apr 30, 2024
kyubii​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2024
Usually I think men and women grow out of the dick pic and vag tunnel shot with age. In my twenties I took a bunch. Now if I am really thinking I am looking pretty good (which usually never lol) I take a couple full body shot of myself. I think we do that when we are young because the only thing we had that told us what sexy was, was porn. And porn is 40% close ups of crotches lol.