Sifting through the flotsam & Jetsam of Fake Subs

Sifting through the flotsam & Jetsam of Fake Subs

wolfweyoun​(dom male) • Sep 19, 2018

As a prelude to my philippic on fake subs I would like to make it clear that the Cage is probably one of the better sites around in terms of genuine quality people. That said, I, and I am sure other Doms, have had a few rather curious sub/slaves PM me of late, offering endless gratuitous sex and house cleaning and usually with photos of some stupidly hot naked girl attached.

Now, I am flattered by the offers, but these unctuous air head yum-yum are all doing the rounds with the same photos. I think Collarspace is probably the wort harbour for these hoodwinkers and charlatans. I had a profile on there for a week and 2 girls, looking identical fawned all over me, with promises of a paradise life flowing with sex and honey. I just lead them on, then introduced them to each other. Silence.

So, how do we quickly spot these hoaxers ? Usually, they are after fleecing you and reliving you of your cash. They do this in a number of ways such as :-

1 Need cash for internet
2 Need cash for a visa
3 Need cash for a ticket
4 Need cash for child care.
5 Need cash for a new phone to talk to you

There are all sorts of methods designed to leverage your cash away. There is a good website called stop-scammers, but you have to pay to see the details of the scam artists, so that is a downside.

I think the paradigm is the same as with all aspects of life. If it s too good to be true, then it usually is and these tricksters are very skilled at playing to the perceived needs of those in the BDSM community who are looking for a partner.

It does make on a little cynical, which is not fair t all of the genuine, beautiful people out there, just trying to find their way through this journey.

I have met some lovely people on this site, very grateful for that and you know who you are.

All the best to all.

Mistress Maree​(dom female){Non} • Sep 19, 2018

There’s a much simpler way meet people and sort the fakes and wannabes get out from behind the computer and go to Munches, clubs and events there are real people in this community there not all online

LettingGo​(sub female) • Sep 19, 2018

With the ever increasing popularity of online “dating”/social media the number of scammers will grow. It’s an inevitable thing, sadly.

Social media sites are the gardens of the intern. You’ve got to weed through the masses to keep your crop fresh and fruitful. The people and friendships you do cultivate make it worth it though, or at least I think it does.

Villanelle​(staff) • Sep 19, 2018

If you're lucky enough to have a local community and a place like THE CAGE, take the best from both worlds. Take advantage of the wide reaching range of an international online community while having a core local group for support. Unfortunately there are insincere and dishonest people in local communities and online. So help make your community better by reporting those who are abusive or who otherwise break the rules, offer support, and use common sense. Make friends, get to know people and TALK to each other. People are mostly decent and kind. But we all have to play a role in supporting the best and cleaning out the worst, online and off.

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Sep 19, 2018

This. I'm familiar with my local scene, and I've done a lot of online local dating IRL too. Dishonest people, ghosting and incompatibility happens just as often in all three arenas.

A few further thoughts;

EV is totally correct about getting to know people. If a members only interactions are emails with a nearly blank profile, that's not a good sign. A profile should at the very least have enough information for you to ask some follow up questions (I see you like/dislike 'x'.. can we talk about that...I enjoy 'y' too, are you also into 'z', etc...). If not and communication is poor, it's not worth the time. "Hi" as an opening message gets the same reply from me, nothing more. They never write back.

Incompatible is a much better way to think of this problem than 'fake', which reeks of 'One Twue Way' ism. EVERY real and sincere sub I know on here has been called a 'fake' or 'not a real submissive' by Doms who didn't like having their opinions or approach questioned. They're gonna have questions and opinions; if you don't like them, move on without judgement. Not everyone who rejects you is a fake.

I've said it before; the currency here is real, polite and intelligent discourse. Scammers rely on broadcasting and copypasta. They cannot and will not take the time and effort to spend that currency on just one person. The more they talk, the more they reveal.

Don't trust anyone who wants to move communication off site. Sharing off site contacts (Kik, email, Skype) publicly is prohibited. Too many use it to escape scrutiny. Scammers know where they can play their games without being caught, and it's not on here. Report this behavior. If you've done this innocently, change your profile.

wolfweyoun​(dom male) • Sep 19, 2018

I am referring specifically to the ones that ask for money, not the ones with different opinion.

wolfweyoun​(dom male) • Sep 19, 2018

I know, I go to munches a lot, I refer only to the online experience here.

CK45​(sub female) • Sep 20, 2018

I guess for some of us it is still daunting to put ourselves out there in RL and The Cage has been an awesome way to get to meet people, learn, read blogs, etc.
I live in a pretty upbeat city and there are munches here, however for me I'm still too intimidated to go by myself and there is a bit of a language barrier.
Can't even imagine asking someone for money ever....
Promising anything on here or any place without really getting to know the person is really unrealistic.
Both would be considered red flags, I think.

There are some really good people here on both sides of the coin and a few bad eggs but it's the same as any online or real life situation.
We just have to dig through to find someone authentic...
Sorry this happened to you and good luck moving forward!

notavanilla • Oct 20, 2018

I have seen a lot of this online but not on this site.
NEVER pay anything to someone you do not know. When I say know is that you have had some kind of relationship with that person for a while * like over 3 months as an example and have met and been with. I have not been scammed myself but I have been hit on for a number of the listed items above. I just blow them off and don't give in. I do sometimes confront them.
Some are straight up and want a pay pig. Anyone that answers an ad like that is well .... no comment on their smarts.

If your older you get these scams more often. I am smart and plenty street smart so any scam is seen thought very quickly.

Again never give money or even presents to these people.

notavanilla.

Villanelle​(staff) • Oct 21, 2018

Please don't forget to report anyone who tries to scam you. You can do that by visiting their profile and clicking on the "report" button. It's totally anonymous and we follow up on every report. If you can include screenshots, even better. We need your help to keep these people out of the community. It's an ongoing job but together we can make THE CAGE as safe and scam free as possible.