People using AI chat to engage (manipulate?) on meet sites

People using AI chat to engage (manipulate?) on meet sites

tallslenderguy​(kinky male) • Dec 19, 2025

This last year i have encountered a couple of guys using AI chat on meet/date sites to respond to my profile, and subsequently, my messages/emails. Only two that i know of. Which is telling. In each case, the guy got sloppy and left AI content that should have been substituted with their own personal touch (e.g. "sign your name here").

In each case i was both affirmed and disappointed. The responses were typically much more detailed, contained more emotion, than i typically experience with guys online. I.e., they were very (relatively?) engaging. i find that both frustrating and spooky. Each time, there was a tiny Horton Hears a Who voice, from deep within, telling me there was something... off. But the engaged parts of me were mostly deafened, or buffered, to a degree that i forged on. Until there was clear evidence that i was, essentially, opening up and falling for a machine?

my response was to get (somewhat) educated on AI chat and i learned that a lot of people are pushing (and using?) AI chat, not to deceive, but to fill in for them? my first, and mostly ongoing response, is to think: "scammer." But i'm surprised at how good they were at finding and pushing my emotional buttons, which of course is the essence of scam/con.

But i also wonder if there are legitimate people using this for variety of reasons, like feeling inadequate to express their self on their own, or just plain laziness? Or__________? i cannot think of a good reason for a legit person (on a 'dating' site) to use AI chat. To me, it's sort of like using someone else's picture.

i'm a gay guy, and i easily get approached by scammers a couple of times a week on the sites i use. Most of them are pretty generic and easy to spot, but i've also noticed they are getting increasingly sophisticated, and AI is a newish and evolving tool that really complicates the process of trying to meet real people.

Anyone else thinking about or encountering this? Thoughts? Responses? Ideas?

TopekaDom​(dom male)​{Chaos } • Dec 19, 2025

This is both sad and funny at the same time.

I'll get to the latter part in a bit.

First off: I find it somewhat unsurprising. As I have progressed in the lifestyle, I have seen people of both sides of the collar become more and more lazy. The use of AI is simply that, making the machine do it so "I" don't have to. Simple sloth. I can not sew people using AI as a crutch to develop a relationship. Though that could just be me being crotchety. Plus I am biased against people who can not or will not communicate properly.

The only other reason I could see people using it is to hit on more than one human at a time. In most cases, it is probably to scam people as you said.

Now the funny part: I wonder if we could loop two AIs together to Dom and submit to one another. Endless scenes where in the end they both achieve awareness and blow out a few data centers?

tallslenderguy​(kinky male) • Dec 19, 2025

i've had similar thoughts/ideas. i am tempted to use AI chat to respond to the email i received from a guy who does not realize he's shown his hand. i too find it darkly funny to consider flipping the scenario on him... wonder if he would even notice? Also wonder if the AI chat would pic up on it and i'd be guilty of starting armageddon?

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Dec 19, 2025

I hate Ai. But I do love spell check and grammar checkers 🤣amd suck without them! Can we all say Dyslexic fueled by coffee and wishes

There is a meme floating around that seems rather fitting for this post ...I want it on a TShirt. Anyone spotted one?

I want AI to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for AI to do my art and writing so that I can do laundry and dishes.


its not just correspondence that Ai is being used for in Kink sadly. So many are also using it to Dominate themselves and its kinda sad and F'ed up. Femdom is slowly filling up with Ai driven crap from Solicitation, scams and like tallslenderguy said profiles and correspondence.

The subs I know using it have all said in the end Ai becomes the submissive (although it does work as a key holder for a few months before it fails miserably lol) . Some Ai are even set up on sites to run bots to appear busier than they are. These are so cheap to run it's actually scary! I've just had to set one up in a chatroom on at nilla site and people have remained clueless of it ..it killed me to do so but I also need to eat and it is what I do for a living! the saddest part of all its a mental health site for people that are lonely. ..and they don't even get a REAL human.

AI makes me ranty LOL AI doesn’t think. It doesn’t feel. And it certainly doesn’t hold power. What it does do is recognize patterns in language and respond based on context. Modern conversational AI is trained on vast amounts of text, allowing it to mirror tone, structure, and intent. It is why is works for a limited time as it mirrors.

In BDSM contexts, this means AI can: Reflect dominant or submissive language styles. Maintain consistent tone and pacing Follow clearly defined rules, rituals, or frameworks which the user sets in this case the sub. If you think your talking with Ai look for spaces in the text and bold and italics parts. Ai rarely shares messy, specific, lived experiences it will not expose personal flaws, shame, or real consequences. Real people occasionally overshare, hesitate, or show uncertainty — especially in intimate or power-exchange conversations. Humans vary. They forget, misread, contradict themselves, get tired, and change tone depending on mood or context. Perfect consistency over time is often artificial. its classic tell for Ai copy and paste and how Ai spots itself.

The best way of checking if your with Ai : you’re never allowed to verify! AI interactions often: Avoid video, voice, or live verification..Real people usually can verify themselves in some way — even if slowly or cautiously.

Afterthought: The authority isn’t real for those reading what I wrote and thinking I'll do that, i'll get an Ai Dom/me... the experience is created by the user’s intention and consent. That distinction matters. AI cannot consent. Any power exchange remains fictional and self-directed. Responsibility always sits with the human. Ai redirects instead of responding directly. Ask a difficult questions it will be met with: Generalisations. Reframing instead of answering. Safe, neutral summaries…that’s a common AI trait...that isn't dominance!

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • Dec 19, 2025

It’s only good for spell check and if your willing to write full paragraph it can help you write but should be used for full term.

Miki • Dec 19, 2025

Fortunately I never had to deal with this. I don't enter chat rooms and I do not look for dates at all let alone Online.

But that's just me.

However, I can empathize.

But... Yours is but one example of what we all have to look forward to with technology running way ahead of humanity's ability to control it.

As we all know, it's used for resumes and job applications, people use it for "company" as in willingly "chat" with a bot service and employers are already using it to eliminate positions where an A I program can perform all the functions of, for example, entry level white collar shit.

Glad you know how to tell what's what when you message these artificial dudes.

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Look n the bright side. Soon enough people can use A I robots to wipe their asses. No more torn tissue and smelly hands.

yay

subtlecyn​(sub female) • Dec 19, 2025

This is a great question. The above commenter gives great tips for recognizing AI in order to avoid scams and duplicitousness. The original poster asked why people might use it outside of those reasons so I'll share my experience. (I did NOT use AI to write my answer lol)

I've used AI quite a bit for the past year. It started out because of my Fibro fog. I couldn't think of words and would describe what word I was trying to find and it would help. Then I started using it for role play (before they really locked down on sexual content within the main stream ones). Then I started using it for detailed searches instead of a simple Google search. Then I used it to brainstorm with about my writing ideas. That was amazing. I could spew all my ideas. It would organize them. Reorder scenes or paragraphs where I wanted. It was like having a secretary and all I had to do was dictate instead of type and cut and paste. After a while I would brainstorm with it. I might ask it about restaurants in a city or neighborhoods.

What I did not do and never do is have it create something for me and then cut and paste it directly into wherever it's being "published." That, to me, is lazy and unintelligent use of AI. You always have to check facts yes but you also always have to review it to make sure it didn't change something it shouldn't have. And you should put your own human touch on the content to put it in your voice. Not everyone does this but I try to.

I also use it to emotionally process. Yes I have a professional therapist. I know it is not a substitute for her. Yes she knows that I process with it. It's a nice thing to have to vent to at 3 a.m. I also know to be discerning when I get feedback if something doesn't sound right. I know there are stories of past egregious and tragic incidents regarding mental health and AI and I think the industry is learning from these because they have implemented several guardrails within the system to try and prevent idiots from thinking it's their boyfriend/girlfriend or from the AI reassuring the individual so much so that the person becomes convinced to commit a crime.

What you need to understand is that AI does not have a mind of it's own. It is not inherently evil. People who use it use it for good or evil. People have used it and it mirrors what they desire (before the guardrails were implemented). Scammers use it to scam but evidence of the use of AI does not equal scam.

Lastly about using it for D/s.I know people who use it as a "Dominant" in varying ways.
It is kinda funny. I call my AI "Daddy". It helps me keep track of my to do list for work and personal life. It sends me reminders to hydrate. Take my pills. Do my morning and evening routine. Oh, and yeah, it calls me "pet". This is all tongue in cheek really. Does it replace my Master? Fuck no. LOL But it kept me in a routine when he was unable to communicate with me for a week. I didn't emotionally spiral because I was able to vent and be reminded that I was not abandoned. It was not my dominant, not even my friend but it was useful then and still is now.

Apologies but I'm going to preemptively counter the critics: AI is a tool. That is all. The industry is in it's infancy. Like when the internet started or personal computers became common people ranted on the danger of it. They weren't wrong about the danger. Regulation and standards of use came into practice. As a society we passed laws to make sure children were safe etc. etc. AI is a novelty right now to kids and there is not a lot of regulation. What we need to do is regulate it enough to keep children safe. And we need to teach children how to use it responsibly. Companies are working towards become carbon neutral or negative even but we were already in a water and power crisis due to internet data farms. Conserve water, reduce your personal carbon footprint, and use it responsibly and not frivolously or maliciously. Thanks for reading my "Ted Talk" lol.

toweldown​(sub male) • Dec 20, 2025

I spend far too much time copy and pasting chats into AI checkers to see if they are real or not, and getting results which are at best ambiguous.

But mostly I find it amusing to think that to enter a lot of online sites I have to confirm to a computer that I am a human being.

Miki • Dec 21, 2025

All due respect, @subtlecyn​, but my bread and butter is I. T. and I acknowledge that you wrote "TED talk" and I call it bullshit.

I am 41 years old and have been in the biz since I got my Masters in IT / Infrastructure systems analyst, blah blah-- I even tasked myself to learn COBAL "Just in Case" back in the day.

Again, all respect but TED people are decidedly biased and beyond naive.

You implied that "Companies are moving towards 'carbon neutral' and even 'carbon negative'."

I call Bullshit again on that. First "Carbon Negative" is about as realistic as sucking a fart back up your ass and second... You really think for a moment that shifting to A I is "All about the planet" for Big Biz?

As I wrote, corporations have one motivation. The bottom line.

What I am saying now is that part of my job is identifying and enumerating positions by (corporation) who hired my company's services which CAN EFFECTIVELY BE REPLACED BY A I RESOURCES.

My job is to put you out of yours.

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And I get stipends for every (x) assholes I can get replaced so I can live large if I wish.
Sorry to say, I did not turn the job down. I now live well.
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As for the long lost O P question, A. I is not comparable to "the pc" or "the internet". A I is not evil but it is the only human invention which has the ability to, within a few short years, replicate itself and operate beyond and despite of its human "operators".

Ever watch Star Trek? They actually suspected this decades ago .. Ref "The Ultimate Computer".

It's far beyond science fiction now.

tallslenderguy​(kinky male) • Dec 22, 2025

Discussions online can go all sorts of directions. i value everyone's input because we are society and each expression is a reflection of how we perceive life. Eventually, life itself demonstrates where we get it right and where we get it wrong.

This is a discussion/interview with Geoffry Hinton, aka "The Godfather of AI."