What makes a person safe?

Literate Lycan(dom male)

2 hours ago • Jul 27, 2026

To me, a person demonstrates they are safe when they consistently show you that you can be your true self with them (quirky, funny, nerdy, serious, stoic, what have you, Dominant, submissive, kinky or vanilla and even a bit boring at times) and they accept you as you are without any attempt to change you other than to help you become the absolute best version of yourself.

I like how you listed both the openness and ability to learn, which demonstrates the ability to grow, as well as the ability to hold space for one another as areas that prove and provide safety to you. I would agree.

Sex Before Dinner(sub female)

42 minutes ago • Jul 27, 2026

[quote="K a e' l"]

► Bunnie wrote:

@Kae’l,

if I’m reading your response correctly… a person that feels safe to you is someone who has a bit of experience under their belt? And who has the willingness and capability to work through trials and errors together?

Yes, Bunnie, for example:
Fire wands
Single tails.
Drop
In my experience, require hands on experience to feel safe.

And how is that experience first investigated in order to discover *IF* further interest is present?

Youtube.

I wouldn't discount YouTube learning quite so quickly. I learned how to knit using YouTube because I had no one around me to learn from, and when I DID have people to learn from, it wasn't consistent.

I get your point...those who ONLY use YouTube and think that is the end all/be all are not what *I* would consider safe as well, but YouTube *IS* a resource that can be utilized.