Not willing to compromise on

Not willing to compromise on

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jun 26, 2024

So being part of the lifestyle here, we all have our limits (or should. If you are one of those who say "no limits, that is a different discussion elsewhere).

But what I to know is what is something that is a 'MUST WANT' of yours. Something that is a deal breaker if the other person can not/will not give you.

Must be a physical trait. We all understand the want for communication and/or emotional connection. That isn't what I am looking for.

Physical trait, BDSM activity, or the like

What is the main Deal or No Deal?

lambsone • Jun 26, 2024

Must want:
Monogomy
A Dom who is a Born Again Christian
A Dom aged 56 or older
A Dom with at least Intermediate Experience
A Dom that's marriage minded

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 26, 2024

Ouch... that's a tough one. But I'll post my two cents in case I'm not alone in this.

________________________________________

For me, the word "must" does not apply outside of contractual (business) obligations and my work.

Other than that I am content with the bod I have, its strengths and limitations ------ and that I thoroughly enjoy solitary living.

________________________________________

As usual: "That's Just My Opinion"

Works great... for me.

TwinkleEyes • Jun 26, 2024

Transparent honesty. That’s above board honesty compared to the Q&A sessions that people have. To me the lifestyle is about being more than the average people in our honesty, respect, not judging others for things, and so on.

Example:
I was talking to a guy for 2 weeks on the phone. He kept telling me that my friendship to my brother from another mother would have to change. That I wouldn’t be allowed to talk to him so frequently (once every 2 weeks is what it is).

Turns out this guy has a really good female friend that used to be his lover while he was married. They have a deep friendship. Talked more than my friend and I at the time. Yet he never mentioned it to me until I asked about her. All the while getting after me for my deep friendship. He wasn’t honest with me

Another guy from last summer told me he was divorced. Apparently he wasn’t. They still slept in the same bed, went to events, and she didn’t know he wanted a divorce. Truths kept coming out.

If someone lies to me while trying to get to me they get friend zoned period. I tell them this ahead of time. And yet they still chase hard, pretending the lie didn’t exist, and act like we are heading towards a dynamic. Then have a mani fit because I won’t submit to them.

It’s a hard limit for me. The lack of transparency. How can someone be trusted to tie me up, smack me around, bite me, and so on if they can’t be honest. I’ll never understand why people trust others who continually break their promises and get lied to.

Good forum topic. I look forward to the responses.

TwinkleEyes • Jun 26, 2024

Well I bombed that one. The physical thing. 😏

For me my biggest kink is the cerebral connection. So the one thing isn’t really realistic. Each dynamic is different. So the activities change. Saying 1 physical thing is really limiting a dynamic isn’t it? Just my opinion.

I can’t get wet or even feel my orgasm in my head without the cerebral connection. It cock blocks that.

bonheurdujour • Jun 27, 2024

I need them to have at least a good amount of emotional maturity. For them to keep their word.
Can't have big nose or lips.
Be okay with video games. Having a good grasp on the english language.

A shared type of absurd humour or word play is what i seem to connect the best with. A certain amount of wit.
Play fighting. It's part of how i show attraction or affection.
For them to eventually become my owner, my master.
Wearing a collar on occasions.
Biting.
Orgasm control, edging. More of a once in a while. Not sure if chastity play would count as a must, need to explore sexual torture more.
Some form of banter.
I feel like i have too many

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 27, 2024

Must be physically attractive.
Thoughbim straight, even if I had a male slave the must be physically attractive and FIT as I refuse to have a partnernor property that doesn't take carenof themselves to uncertain degree

Steellover​(sub male) • Jun 28, 2024

I would agree there would have to be SOME kind of physical attraction, though that does not mean She would necessarily have to be swimsuit-issue cover material. But after all, if I want to submit to a goddess, then such a goddess would naturally want to take care of herself (as I take care of myself.)

Anyone whose values are questionable, I would have a hard pass on. Our values must be at least somewhat compatible.

Even if she is not "Kinky" per se, or even actually dominant, she should at least be sexually liberated, and even a little adventurous. No "Ice Queen" types, in other words. I know quite a few women who were raised to believe that "Sex should never be for pleasure, it's only purpose should be to produce offspring," and thus, live their lives under a cloud of guilt and shame. This is too bad, but I am not judging, rather, it goes back to me seeking someone with compatible values. I wouldn't be romantically compatible with such people, even though I love and respect many women like this as good friends.

LoveandDevotion​(sub female){Looking} • Jun 28, 2024

Since everyone else is, I'll list both the ephemeral and the tangible.

Monogamous, marriage minded, honest.

I have children and my daughter has made me promise no one who doesn't love kids, cats, and Jesus. I think that's a nice list.

Dominant (not a switch-- I am not remotely dominant myself and I want pure monogamy, so would feel bad having a switch not get one side of themselves ever fulfilled.)

Wants kids (ie via pregnancy).

Makes me feel safe. I like their personality.

Has a high libido.

Shares at least a few of my kinks.

Is willing to brand me after we're married.

Supportive of my faith.

Is attracted to me and I find him attractive.

Thankfully, I have found him.

I had other sexy wants, but they were not must haves. He does embody most of them though. Like I like his height and chest hair.

shebakesalot​(sub female) • Jun 28, 2024

A smartass with a good ass. 😂 And a comforting presence.