Is bdsm a high IQ game?

Is bdsm a high IQ game?

ComplianceIsFutile​(switch male)​{Not collar} • May 5, 2025

I would say yes?

TopekaDom​(dom male)​{Chaos } • May 5, 2025

Yes.

It is not for the stupid or the lazy.

The problem lies in the fact those who are lacking don't realize it then don't understand why it is not working for them.

pioneer man​(sub male) • May 5, 2025

An IQ Game?? What's that mean? What's a persons IQ have to do with it?

My Dom & I have been going to erotic/BDSM events for years. We have met people from all walks of life - national TV celebrities, business people, blue collar workers, etc. No one ever asked what anyone's IQ was or cared what it is.

Every person involved in BDSM has to respect every other person's dynamic choice and most importantly not judge them. We have seen things through the years that from our point of view were really fun ideas and others that we thought were insane.

So, NO IT'S NOT AN IQ GAME.

BTW: According to your profile, we started attending events before you were born.

Lulu Feu​(sub female)​{Notlooking} • May 5, 2025

I do not think it has to do with IQ. I think it has to do with emotional intelligence, willingness to display humility, and desire to grow. This is true in vanilla and BDSM dynamics. I have known plenty of people who have high IQs but lack common sense. People who are also stuck in their own way and refuse to change or shift. Hell, I have been there. Blinded by my own fantasies, desires, or misinformation. I wouldn't consider myself dumb, ditzy at times sure. Ok. I've made foolish decisions, but I'm not dumb. I also do not have the highest IQ. Those tests suck.

This is about relationships. Social and emotional intelligence and sensitivity. I got that. Most of the time.

Relationships require integrity. They require communication. They require honesty. If you aren't prepared to get dirty, do not play. Sometimes we get hurt...with consent, and without. It is part of the nature of interacting with others.

The art is in communicating effectively. I feel this way because...
I hear what you are saying...
I enjoy your company, and would like to try x,y,z...is this cool with you?

IQ? No. Intelligence. Yes. Integrity? Yes.

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • May 5, 2025

Don't get me wrong, maybe you grew up with this in some cultures and families are like this but it does make you wrong for bringing it up. Time and place for it. I would never force a test on anyone. Only test in life just be you I will be me lets be and be friends be at peace toast to that. But do what you want if you want to do it but just know places in the first world are gonna be different ya that life we all know. A place with not many rules but just get along shape up or ship out hehe here is some candy have fun . But make yourself at home and enjoy your stay. We can share some ideas and share each other's knowledge over brunch.

Bring yourself, be yourself, how you carry it with your mind and body just being ones self. Lose everything of IQ and Titles who you really are what really matters show up do with out even saying say it.
Come with good speaking and mind willing to embrace it everyone has their own smarts.

In a dynamic of sharing, everyone finds their own path but sharing it and showing and involving in with growing and building a community. Everyone kink Pandora box of difference of treasure what they hold that the magic of it.


I don't see through IQ or Titles.Flow be you be peace be well figure things out as things go. No judgment just no ones perfect and imperfection is the perfect. I just wanna have a good old time, I'm sure you do too.

At the end of the day this is more of relaxing time to leave everything at the door open, you go through that door this place just to be. Be you all ones ask let it be. As you get older you will see the meaning the company and time shared with laughter and talking about funny things and learning as you go and having a good time.

"Which is more important?" Asked Big panda , "the Journey or the destination ?

" The Company " Said Tiny Panda.

Ms MaryJane • May 6, 2025

I don't feel you need a high score in a standardized test to be in the bdsm world. Intelligence, respect and communication yes...high I.Q. no.

Orgazmo​(dom male) • May 6, 2025

Not only a high IQ game but also a high EQ game.

Part of being a Dom is giving the feelings of being demanding and out of control (the emotional bad boy) while being in control, safe, and nurturing.

Unfortunately, many wanna-be Doms cannot or will not grasp this and their subs get damaged physically and emotionally.


"With great power comes great responsibility" - Spiderman

Lulu Feu​(sub female)​{Notlooking} • May 6, 2025

"With great power comes great responsibility" - Uncle Ben...to Spiderman.

One of my favorite quotes and I say it all the time.

Anyway, it isnt just about the Dom have emotional intelligence, the submissive has well. Mutual respect for boundaries and the ability to speak up.

As another said, IQ is a standardized test and does not equate to actual intelligence in regards to relationships. Communication, flexibility, humility, humanity. If you cant handle it, don't play with the big dogs....and the chihuahua.

Kelpi • May 7, 2025

Yes you have to think about just how when are where to land a whip flogger paddle or hand to get the right sense of pain and pleasure. Do you want to leave a mark? How big small wide thin and more importantly shown or not. Any fool can swing a flogger but to get where it has the right amount of pleasure mixed with pain takes a great amount of thinking. As well as knowing just what your target wants and you knowing just how to give it to them.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jul 27, 2025

No.
History of human kind shows dominant ppl taking advantage of the submisivenones for their own sexual and domestic needs for most of our species existence.