Sharing Your Sub

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Jan 7, 2019

I wouldn't allow myself to be shared, and a Dom that wanted to share me wouldn't be a good fit for me. It's just not how my brain works. I like that my Dom wants me all to himself.

To each their own, but it just wouldn't be a healthy emotional situation for me, personally.

ropefish • Jan 8, 2019

I very much want to be shared. I love the idea of having a Dom/me who is so proud of me, of how they trained me, of what a good girl I am, that they want to let others enjoy me as well. I love being in object-space, and the thought of being given to others (sexually or otherwise) makes me feel more like an object. Kindof like how you'd loan a friend a fun video game, or let them play with your dog.

I see it as another way to exercise power. Sharing also says to me that the Dom/me is confident and trusting - they aren't worried about "losing" their sub to the other person, they aren't jealous, etc. Jealousy is, to me, a very unattractive quality and one that I have a hard time respecting. I like knowing that the relationship is too strong to allow for doubts or jealousy.

SirHanz​(dom male){Minx} • Jan 8, 2019

For me it is not about jealousy but protection. Would I be jealous of someone else using my tools? No. Would I be concerned they are not as careful with them as I am? Yes. A sub is a million times more complicated than a chisel. I dont want any sub that has given me their comple trust to be damaged in some way by someone who does not care for them like i do.

ropefish • Jan 8, 2019

@Sir Hanz. Obviously a very good point. Putting that kind of scene into action could be a bit complicated.

On the flipside though, that's another highly attractive aspect to me. A sub must have complete trust that the person they submit to will not let any "harm" come to them (excluding RACK of course hehe). It's another aspect of control that can be given, another exercise of trust.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 8, 2019

All depends on the individuals involved. Some of these sub/dom dynamics are intricate as hell. From what I read the sum is greater than the individual parts.. Or so it seems to my un-trained eye.

I can only speak hypothetically because for me it's the sex and the kinky pain and humiliation that goes along with it But if I were in a "sub" situation with a regular schlong-- I mean dom, ---I'd delight in being "shared" (and watched even) The more the merrier, because I take great erotic pleasure in being a sex object. My purpose and pleasure is being strictly for the pleasure of whomever I am with.

Just my 2 cents as a member of a sub subset (masochist).

Orgazmo​(dom male){serenity m} • Feb 13, 2019

Personally I'm very territorial about my subs.

But cuckholding is not one of my kinks.

But other Doms have shared their subs with me.

MasterNeil77722​(dom male) • Feb 13, 2019

I value my slave far too much to share her. I also think that the act of temporary giving her away for other to use would be ultra corrosive to the corner stone of our relationship, our mutual trust in each other.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Feb 13, 2019

As of right now, I personally could not share him... for anything. Sex, service, none of it. I dont trust other people, and I dont want anything to happen to him, or to me, or to our relationship. While I'm working at it, I'm not strong enough mentally to handle it. I know myself and my mind would play tricks on itself.

That being said, my love has a desire for us to be more open. Poly eventually. But even still, I would /never/ allow someone to play with him on their own. It would be someone playing with /us/. If another ever comes into our bedroom it will be with the both of us, or none of us. No exceptions.

But as plenty of others have said, its up to each relationship individually how they handle the topic of sharing. While it wouldn't work for us (right now), it might be incredibly enjoyable for another.

Zaramia​(dom female) • Feb 13, 2019

This. It's not one of my kinks.
I'm not really attracted to it, either, so it's not likely I'd choose someone who would want to share me, sexually.
Shared to provide care or service is something that is common in most relationships, the only real difference might be the handling of the "order/asking". If my (person on top) wanted me to help their buddy and their (person on the bottom), they would likely "ask" me in the same way, whether that was a vanilla relationship or not. "Baby, we want to have a party, and want you girls to do the prep and cooking, etc, then get dressed, and be cute and charming. ok?" or something along the lines of "My buddy (or our friend) is in some form of need, please make some soup and bring it to them, bring their children to school, etc". (understanding that the only difference here is the implied option for me to say no - which is no more an option in a vanilla relationship than a power exchange one, I don't think).
I think there is a great deal of assumption that everything in a (kink/BDsm) relationship is sexual, and that is just not the case for many. Sure, for some it's a bedroom only dynamic (I have no experience with that and can't speak to it), but for many, it's just like, life, and relationship. We have friends of all flavors - we attend PTO meetings, raise our kids, clean the bathroom, and the dungeon, catch a cold, jog, whatever - same as everyone else on the block...
We all "share" our people, to some extent - The line is something that should be a part of any early on negotiations, even if it's going to be a blurry line, for a long time, maybe forever. It's just about defining it - open/poly/monogamous/whatever.
that's my 2 cents.

JohnBond​(dom male){Kitten} • Feb 15, 2019

I couldn't personally share my submissive. I don't judge those that do of course but submission is such a personal and important gift to me that I just couldn't share it. I am also a possessive dominant. She is mine and that's that. It's just one of those things that wouldn't work for my relationship personally.