Giving Up

MasterXavier • Jun 25, 2019

I just found this site. looks pretty cooll. Im Master Matt if anyone wants to talk.

No Body​(dom male) • Jun 26, 2019

Living in two worlds is not easy but we do it. We have to trust those we meet but we also have to know we can trust those we meet. So many are not only fakes but will use what they find against you when they can. There was once a congress woman who said she liked porn and would go home and watch it. She was voted out in the next election.

We hide in plain site and we live in shadow. For me it's not a problemas I have been here all my life but finding friends and love is not easy. Hell just finding a sub who wants to stck around long enough to see if we click is a job at times. Having finllay settled down (at least for a few years) I can look and see what is there. Then again because of the work I want to do I have to have half a life in shadow and half in the light . I am use to it but I hate I can't just say "hi meet my wife and our sub who we love". Only in a perfect world but this is Earth and perfection is what you get when you photoshop.

DC Daddy​(dom male) • Jun 26, 2019

Two issues in your post, as follows. Respectfully suggest that you not conflate them.

FINDING A PARTNER - Do you know the total population of straight "Doms" in Ohio registered on this site? It's under 50, approximately 2/3rds of whom are >32 yo. Assuming you are comfortable with someone up to 10 years your senior, which is by no means clear from your post, that leaves you a total target universe of ~20. Not sure what your thoughts are on that, but I sure af don't have attraction, chemistry, kink match, and logistics match with one in twenty women. Probably not even one in 200.

Finding a partner, dom or sub, is a numbers game and hard work. Just like finding a vanilla BF, only 10X harder. Subs/Doms complaining about not being able to find anyone are rampant on other sites, and many have been looking for much longer than the week you have been here. Couple things you may want to consider. Expand your target universe. TBH, this is a no brainer. Reddit has a BDSM community and BDSM and CNC personals. Doublelist is the new Criagslist for personals and, while not BDSM specific, looks promising. Many are on FetLife, and while it is intentionally not a dating site, as an attractive woman looking for a Dom, you would likely receive a good bit of interest. The standard response to partner search complainers on r/bdsmcommunity is to tell them to get involved in the community. Not my bag, but if you are social and a joiner, go to some munches, meet some folk, check out the local dungeon, etc. Try posting on vanilla dating sites - Tinder/Bumble/OKCupid. Vastly larger population. You'll get lots of traction. You can screen for attraction/looks more easily. Throw on a collar and make your screenname "daddy issues" (or your more subtle version of that) for more targeted respondents. Last, but certainly not least, you may want to consider looking for a vanilla playmate with whom you can take the journey to D/s. I am not alone in having a formative experience that arose organically out of a vanilla relationship and believe that it has some advantages. What's up with the BF? Your profile says you want a Dom to train him in safe bondage. He could learn enough to get started, safely, in an afternoon of research. No dom (other than him) required...

SCREENING FOR ATTRACTION - Agree with you 100% on this. Attraction matters, as do chemistry and trust. And you are correct. Your social/career/safety risk is every bit as important as that of your prospective Dom. More important, IMHO, given a sub's higher physical risk, and the fact that being a "Dom" attracts abusers like pedophiles to daycare. My dating experience, vanilla and kink, is that people who obfuscate their appearance have something to hide. The same pattern of behavior is rampant everywhere from Tinder, where BBWs post face only pics, to swinger sites, where couples post hot pics of the yoga wife while conveniently neglecting to disclose hubby's 3rd trimester physique. Here's the thing. This is human nature. We all put our best foot forward, and should. As a smart girl, you understand this. It is not a surprise. You are not flummoxed or dejected or detered. You make the only rational response. Next...

Good luck!

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Jan 12, 2020

i agree that would increase her playing field, but the original poster is no longer on the site (profile is deleted)

Erick​(sub male) • Jan 12, 2020

"Princess" gave up.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Jan 14, 2020

Princess probably found another site or is taking time away from thecage.
And with the amount of pathic men playing Dom no one can blame her.

LordofPain56 • Jan 15, 2020

The poster's profile does not exist.
I don't post a photo on my profile, but there is or was a pretty good description in the profile text. I think it is dis-ingenuous not to have one or the other.
I do not blame the original poster for having an attraction to a certain appearance. After all, I have a type myself.

FuckMeDaddy​(dom male){Daddy Dom} • Feb 1, 2020

I hear you hunny. I wish I could find what I'm looking for too

notavanilla • Feb 1, 2020

When you quit you automatically lose. How can you succeed when you simply " give up " at the first resistance. Impatience is not a virtue.
You have youth on your side but what happens in the future, well you get old. Age does not help much because people get involved with others and are then out of the " pool " of people that are available.
You got responses but you didn't want them or actually you did and then cancelled your profile and evaporated. No last words or even just letting your profile and all of that here, stay for a while.
No this is not adult friend finder or the like with millions of posters. You pay a subscription for that service but you are also against a pile of people and all it has is just personals.

You invested something in being here but you didn't allow your investment to pay off.
There were two that bailed out from those that posted in this forum.
I am looking but try to find someone when your 60+. That is a chore.
I am not giving up. Someone is out there and I am right here waiting for their forward step towards me.

notavanilla

makemeplease​(sub female){Prussian} • Feb 2, 2020

Don't give up.

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