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I am so frustrated with my dom!

mandybell​(sub female)
5 years ago • Jul 17, 2019
mandybell​(sub female) • Jul 17, 2019
Soulweaver wrote:
I suggest asking him for permission to speak to him about this matter, have him schedule a time when he believes he will be available and then just being honest with him (in a respectable manner) about the toll this is taking on you. It may be that in fact he is busy with work (although that doesn't excuse the lack of communication), he may be using work as an excuse or it's very possible that there is something else going on that may or may not involve you (family drama for example). Either way, you have a right to broach the subject and to make him aware that the lack of communication is having an adverse impact on you. If he refuses to discuss it with you or doesn't give you a satisfactory answer, then I think you will have a decision to make.

I have a sneaking suspicion that there is a reasonable explanation that he hasn't yet shared with you. So give him a chance to explain and go from there. Remember a healthy relationship (BDSM or any other) should be based on communication and if that is lacking, it does not constitute "healthy." I wish you the best!


Thank you so much for your reply. I will try that. If that doesnt work then I cant do it anymore. X
NCarraway​(dom male)
5 years ago • Jul 17, 2019
NCarraway​(dom male) • Jul 17, 2019
I agree with Mr Soulweaver (again),

Using the formal approach will make it crystal clear that you are at a tipping point and that he will be obliged to respond as per responsibility. If he does not respond then you have more information to base your decision. Also, allowing him to pick the time also forces the issue. If a girl used this on me then I would feel the weight of responsibility very keenly - its a way for you to approach the issue with respect but also from a position of strength.

I wish you well miss bell.
MissBonnie​(dom female){oz}
5 years ago • Jul 17, 2019
I agree with all said here. You might like to also ask him what YOU can do to help him have more time. I know your online but there are still things that could help free up time, you could be his virtual assistant after all that is your place to make his life easier. Can you send him reminder texts during the day for activities or job related dead lines he needs to meet. Does he catch trains? buses? need to feed meters for parking? etc. Can you manage his calendar for him? Can you share an online calendar so you know what he is doing and in return he knows your actions and doings so you can BOTH better plan your time together? Could he share at least his work schedule with you so you can interact with him on breaks or lunch? Surely in this period he has more time he could free up! If you could maybe just feel, that your a little more a part of his day, it might help YOU feel a little more connected , without him really having to change much.

Best of luck I do hope its just how busy he is, that is keeping you sidelined icon_smile.gif
Bella duPuy​(sub female){Not lookin}
5 years ago • Jul 17, 2019
Hi mandybell

bella here.

May i ask, and you do NOT have to answer publicly - do you know whether or not your Beloved is grappling with depression, anxiety, "blue funk" (mild depression or precursor to a depressive event) or any other mental health issue?
i have a dear friend Who is also an amazing Dom (not mine) and He let me know when His depression was coming on. He tried to avert it, but was unsuccessful in doing so. His sub is also trying her best to assist Him in going through this.
Some Men/Doms may have difficulty in admitting They are, seemingly, helpless against something like this.
i hope there is a beautiful resolution to this dilemma for Y/you.

Be well.
~*@ bella @*~[

P.S. i love your name, btw. it's very musical]
Angel Wings​(sub female)
5 years ago • Jul 18, 2019
Angel Wings​(sub female) • Jul 18, 2019
Ummm....formal request? A carved invitation is needed? If his sub is important to him than he makes the time when she first approached him.

My 2 cents.
CapnRick​(dom male)
5 years ago • Jul 19, 2019
CapnRick​(dom male) • Jul 19, 2019
I’m with Angel....plenty of time, some Doms or wannabe Doms, Get a whiff of NEW sub, and get distracted....while just communicating with their present sub enough to keep her strung along, just in case the newer one doesn’t pan out
That is what this situation sounds like to me, sadly. Cruel, sure, but happens.
Fyglia Wicked​(dom female)
5 years ago • Jul 19, 2019
Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Jul 19, 2019
Angel Wings wrote:
Ummm....formal request? A carved invitation is needed? If his sub is important to him than he makes the time when she first approached him.

My 2 cents.

Exactly ..
And he can't even find 10 seconds in the last 2 weeks to text her.