tallslenderguy(other male)
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4 years ago •
May 8, 2020
Bunnie wrote: @ tallslenderguy,
I actually share a lot of similar thoughts to you around this, so I’m glad you shared, thank you. I don’t particularly understand the point of seduction either to be honest lol. I think that’s perhaps mostly why I’ve never payed it much attention. There is also a part of me that cringes at the possibility it could be using my sexuality as a form of manipulation. I think, however that perhaps because of this I may have gone to the other extreme of simply shutting down any possibility of people having the opportunity to view me as potentially sexy. However... alas the Master I am speaking with has shared his enthusiasm for sexual suggestiveness in his girls, so I figured I’d do some digging and see if it’s something that can be learned or if perhaps it’s simply beyond me, being the way I am. I think that perhaps the fact I’m trying to intellectualise it takes away from the very essence of it lol... but one has to start somewhere icon_biggrin.gif! Hi Bunnie, You and i are so alike in this, i too am glad you shared back. i am particularly grateful about what you shared regarding cringing at the notion of using your sexuality as a form of manipulation. It's a long story, but the short of it is i was married to a woman for much of my life and she used seduction manipulatively. It did a major psychological number on me to the point that i emotionally associate women and sexual manipulation. Cognitively, i 'know better,' but to this day i emotionally suspect a woman who 'comes on' to me as being manipulative. i hate that feeling on several levels and have to consciously fight "going to the other extreme." It makes me feel devalued on my side, and makes me question my intrinsic worth. That left a mark, but the feeling there is an ulterior motive that remains unidentified means the person is behind a wall of deception that keeps us from connecting with each other. That's the worst of it for me because it seems to me the potential of sex is the depth of connection that can take place between people. i think our "kinks" are some of the deeper, more vulnerable parts of who we are, so if one person reveals theirs because another person coaxed it from them under false pretense, there's a lot of potential for harm. Another angle of this is i have considered manipulation (and seduction that is used manipulatively) by women as a survival mechanism that may have developed as a result of patriarchal cultural influence/condtioning in some societies? That 'mankind' shot/shoots itself in the foot by forcing or coercing what it wants vs acquiring 'it' equitably? (Which is not to completely disparage patriarchy, rather its existence where it may not belong or be welcomed). i think the fact that your Master has expressed His desire for "sexual suggestiveness in His girls" changes the seduction from a manipulative act with hidden intentions to a response to please or fill a known (revealed) need or desire in your Master, which to me turns it into an intimate and wonderful thing? For instance, i have an emotional need/desire to be "groomed" by a Man. "Grooming" has a very negative connotation and is most often used to describe an abusive behavior used by pedophiles to 'seduce' victims. However, i have experienced that when there is an understanding based on intimate knowledge of one another, a Top/Dom/Master can fulfill His need/desire (personally manifest as a "kink"of "grooming") to subtley control His bottom/sub/slave who has expressed a need/desire for that kind of control. The key to me is removing the lie, where one's true need/desire remains hidden and thus thwarts real or true connection. |
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Online now
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tallslenderguy(other male)
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4 years ago •
May 8, 2020
i think the power of seduction lies in identifying areas of mutual need and/or desire? in discovering and alining compatable 'kinks'?
A simple example could be enemas. A Top/Dom/Master need or desire may express in this 'kink' based on His/Her need or desire to penetrate, inseminate, impregnate, fill, influence, etc., etc. lol their bottom/sub/slaves, while the bottom/sub/slave also has the corresponding enema 'kink' that is based on their need or desire to be penetrated, inseminated, impregnated, filled, influenced, etc., etc.. i believe seduction can be wonderful when there is mutual need or desire being met, but is (so many words could fit in this slot depending on the situation, i'll chose a more benign word) ruined when one side or the other lacks the need/desire and is using seduction for a hidden reason? |
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Bishop(dom male)
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4 years ago •
May 8, 2020
I agree with Morrighan’s and tallslenderguy’s perspectives (what they said and this)...Maybe I’m missing something, but from my vantage point, being sexy and seductive finds its origins in the core of the relationship itself. To me, it’s a look or slight touch of her fingers that I find seductive. When she allows me to lead, trusting me to guide, and herself being a willing and enthusiastic submissive...that’s sexy. Of course, being able to walk gracefully in heels and wearing a skirt with no underwear on is sexy too (when I know she does these things for me). Let’s not forget also the mere fact that she looks at me, finds me desirable, and wants to please me...sexy and seduction, to me, comes from within and is expressed in celebrating the relationship that is our dance. Just my 2 cents.
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skyrich(dom male){rottenbrat}
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4 years ago •
May 8, 2020
@Bunnie
"However... alas the Master I am speaking with has shared his enthusiasm for sexual suggestiveness in his girls," Did he specifically ask you to do strip-tease, or is that something you decided? I only ask because there are *lots* of ways to demonstrate sexual suggestiveness.  Strip-tease or pole dancing and the like are only a few.
My De learned belly dancing, which I enjoyed very much, (and it's fantastic exercise). The trick w/ sexual suggestiveness is to BE wantonly sexual, really. |
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MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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4 years ago •
May 9, 2020
Adding to above...
Bunnie have you thought about doing a poledancing class as a way to get fit..but also have the added bonus of learning to use your body as sensual...dare i say it "object/tool" I took a class and loved it! some people struggle with strip tease moves but find burlesque is more their personal style (its also gentler on the body for older women, not saying bunnie is old) there are burlesque classes too that run women only course for sexuality or fitness (think Dita Von Teese) |
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SchrodingersDinosaur(switch female)
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4 years ago •
May 9, 2020
If striptease is appealing to you Bunnie, give it a go! First thing that will help since you feel uncoordinated/ uncomfortable is to just practice. Alone, no mirrors, no pressure. Put on music that you find sexy, doesn't matter what genre, and just move. Let your body go. Relax and feel the music.
Sounds silly, but a great visual of what you are going for is Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies. She's awkward and stilted in the beginning but you can see exactly when she lets go and feels the dance. It also is a good representative of what to do when something goes wrong in the middle, like with the trip, that happens! When it does, you get up and keep going...nope, I meant to do that! Own it! 😉 been there, done that, fo sho! You are welcome to message if you'd like more deets! - Henna |
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rottenbrat(sub female){Skyrich}
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4 years ago •
May 9, 2020
@ Bunny-
If you want to add seduction to your bag of tools then learn away.... Don't miss a critical understanding as you do it. Your clumsiness, your nerdy side, and anything else that comes with that are part of who you are. Dont cover that up with trying to be a super seductress or someone else entirely. Anyone worth their salt is going to find clumsiness and nerdiness endearing and will love you MORE for those things than any seductive dance you can do. I tell my Dom consistently that I love his Trekkie Nerd, because it's an endearing part of him that I wouldn't give up for anything. Again, I'm not saying don't learn a sexy dance or how to be more seductive..... just don't dismiss the idea that someone will be completely interested in you exactly as you are. This is where you get to exercise your ability to trust someone else to love all of you. Even the parts you don't particularly like. |
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Bunnie
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4 years ago •
May 9, 2020
@ skyrich,
“I only ask because there are *lots* of ways to demonstrate sexual suggestiveness. icon_smile.gif Strip-tease or pole dancing and the like are only a few.” Good point. He didn’t ask specifically but it did come up in discussion. I have learned belly dance and a few other styles. I think the reason I asked about the strip tease more specifically was about learning to *feel* sexy so I could bring that forward. I think there’s a mindset that brings out that confidence... or at least I’m hoping lol. |
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Bunnie
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4 years ago •
May 9, 2020
@ Miss Bonnie,
“some people struggle with strip tease moves but find burlesque is more their personal style (its also gentler on the body for older women, not saying bunnie is old) there are burlesque classes too that run women only course for sexuality or fitness (think Dita Von Teese)” Lol... gentler on the body is definitely my cup of tea! I saw a documentary about burlesque girls a little time ago now, and it was awesome. I’ll look into this... love it, thank you 
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Bunnie
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4 years ago •
May 9, 2020
@ Henna,
Love that movie! And her dance is definitely relatable for me... thank you
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