Spanking... your experience giving or receiving

He didn't hear my mantra, it just kinda quietly escaped from my lips. He will hear it next time.

My partner is more loving and caring than I could have imagined. I am looking forward to next time. ?

I spank for two reasons: to reprimand my princess, and for my own pleasure in hearing her yelps and seeing her bottom bruise.

Spanking is turgid with meaning for me and In would never spank someone who wasn’t mine, or who wasn’t about to be mine.

In behaviorist (operant) tradition, positive and negative refer to the adding or removing of something, respectively. Reinforcement is doing something after a behavior to increase the likelihood of that behavior increasing. Punishment is doing something to decrease the likelihood of that behavior. So for positive reinforcement you give something the organism finds good (orgasms for completing a task). For negative reinforcement you remove something the organism doesn't like (taking medication to make a headache go away increases the likelihood of taking medicine again). Positive punishment adds something the organism doesn't like (standing in the corner being ignored) and negative punishment removes something liked (withdraw attention).

In vanilla world spanking is frequently used as an example of positive punishment. Not the most effective way to change behavior! And not even a punishment for many of us here.

On the topic of spanking for punishment I am not a fan for several reasons.

First, striking someone while you are upset is assault not kink. Someone is being punished because you are upset with them or their action. The longer you wait to punish the least effective that punishment is. However the mental gymnastics one gets to play till then can be quiet extreme. Think about being called into the bosses office right now versus asking to come in to the office at 4p. Your brain will race and mess with you till you get into that bosses office. So one can ask if that wait is now a punishment or abuse.

Second. I don’t believe any act one does for fun should also be used as a punishment. At some point lines could get crossed or blurry and what was once a pleasurable event could bring up past negative ones.

I like to be spanked a lot. Even just when my ex would slap my ass casually its just a huggge turn on. Partially bc i like the light pain from it, and partially because i like the “owned” feeling that i feel when im spanked. It makes me feel like im theirs to do with as they please. I also think that spanking can be pleasurable in a lot of ways. I can be very sensitive so sometimes i can feel very intense from things like spankings, not necessarily light headed, but when i feel like im submitting to a man its more like a warmth or a giving into their body and pleasuring them makes me feel similar to that. It’s definitely a great experience to grow into the fun kinky experiences.

As a brat spankings are my middle name. I hate them... i love them. The pain it terrible (especially with a coat hanger) the break down and release is unmatched. Just when my poor red broken skin can't take another tap, no mantras for me....my damn mouth will open up and scream is that all you got asshole. Back to square one....

I like giving a good spanking and not just for the obvious reasons. It is more an embodiment of my control, a demonstration I can give anything from essentially gentle caresses to the 'you won't be sitting this week'. Spanking is a test of how well I modulate what I am doing I response to my subs wants, needs, and occasionally distaste in our evolving dynamic. Is it a turn on for her, a punishment? Regardless it represent an opportunity for me to show I understand what she wants with a swing if my hand.

Also fun...

Reading the responses, i’m mostly hearing about punishment, when spankings as discipline work very well. The two are very different and used for different reasons. Personally, spanking isn’t a punishment at all for me, so it’s generally not used as such. Discipline, however, yes it is used and wisely so. Positive reinforcement is sometimes much stronger than negative. imho

I understand the OP’s live/hate relationship with spanking. I hate the initial sting of the impact. I love the burning fade to warmth feeling that begins about 3 seconds after impact. From a psychological standpoint, I hate it. Probably because it was a main form of discipline in the house when I was a kid. I love being able to push that part of my mind down to endure it for my Dom. It’s the sense of service, of being a good girl, and of accomplishment that I endured.

Responding to the punishment vs pleasure/funishment debate, I think it all depends on the circumstances and execution of the spanking which makes it one or the other. Over the knee is much more like those childhood disciplines for me, so that is definitely punishment.

Time, patience and responsibility along with total attentiveness. Your Dominant, in My opinion, is doing all things well. Impact play can be amazing for any submissive, even at a lighter and more delicate level. As your exploration of this facet grows, you will find every implement has a different level of pain and your threshold will change. He will know what to use and when and how as you both grow together. Having that deep connection of trust makes it even more exciting. Enjoy the journey!