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Call or not

I'mME
2 years ago • Jun 27, 2022
I'mME • Jun 27, 2022
EssenceAmore wrote:
Think of the 2 songs that Madonna Made look up these two song sure you heard of it make a anthem.
Madonna - Material Girl
Love is not who buys you diamonds and fur. Love is being treated very kindly, and gracefully. It's not how much money he has.
You should be treated like a Queen.

Madonna - Express Yourself
He should be winning you over
confidante and realize second best is never enough. You'll do much better baby on your own

If was me I be calling him out on his sh#t Texting :Saying What as happen to you alright? Give him a day to text back , If he is nice says why give him a chance , If he got caught up in real family or something happen people do get busy but yes he should said something let him get back to you , But if he comes back saying not working then just say best of luck no hard feelings , Its been a full day sometimes no answer is answer wish them well.

Don't get to attached or addicted or wait around for someone that not giving you the 100% back he seems he beating around the bush or looking for girl that willing submit right away to get off but just saying. I know you been talking to him not sure how long. But when meeting online if its been few days don't call it relationship don't bow down or submit , Even if its been few weeks of talking don't give in right away yes emotion can run wild you may want to be owned or he wanted you to best to take it slow you have to be the guard of you heart and soul . Even in good month like dating but boy friend and girlfriend yet still getting to know each other be careful with your heart. This why I say don't get to hooked on love yes emotion and hormones can run wild let the bond grow let him be your peace a relationship more down the road should be talked about first but you both need to meet in real or virtual game setting talk face to face what you both set to agree on they need to win your heart over and be emotionally invested before anything. Don't wait around , don't beg , Don't chase just keep living your life some whats to be part of you they need to show with effect and blue prints they should be leading you on know you rights when to say no when to walk away. Dust yourself and try again be happy for you be sexy for you date yourself til you know its right.



Great advice.
Morley​(sub female){Max Sterne}
2 years ago • Jun 27, 2022

Re: Call or not

newbiesubfiftyfive wrote:
I am sure this is a age old question but it has come up with a few women recently again

When a Dom all of a sudden stops calling or messaging every two days and goes to 4 and 7 days or more. Does the sub sit back and wait for him to nake contact or can they send a message?

What is the correct response in this situation with a D/s


IF (and that's the operative word) a D/s dynamic has been established - this shouldn't be a question. Why? Because these types of needs/wants/expectations etc. should be discussed thoroughly, thoughtfully and at GREAT length; then negotiations made and agreed upon BEFORE entering into a dynamic.

So, IF (that operative word again) either side of the slash veers away from, changes, or disregards those agreed upon "rules/routines" WITHOUT prior communication then that person is clearly not interested, vested in, or serious about said dynamic. Of course shit happens, however, again, IF it's a serious dynamic then safety protocols should also have been discussed prior and put in place when the dynamic was established.

This is not a game! This is real life. These things are so important to be discussed in the "getting to know and vetting stage". Any Dom or sub who isn't up to discussing these things or putting in place such set "rules/routines" is a BIG FUCKING RED FLAG šŸš©šŸš©šŸš© so RUN

I speak from the horse's mouth here. I learned the hard way a long time ago and hope my words can help others to avoid these kind of horrific antics!
Literate Lycan​(dom male)
2 years ago • Jun 27, 2022
Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jun 27, 2022
You say D/s and not M/s or any other situation. You can always communicate. You should always communicate. If you have an established schedule of communication and things change, initiate communication and don't just wait. As Morley indicates above, schedules of communications should be established early and often if you are not 100% in person all the time.
Zelia
2 years ago • Jun 27, 2022
Zelia • Jun 27, 2022
Walk away. It takes seconds to message someone if something is making contact difficult. They havenā€™t done that, if they cared they would have. That is very blunt but itā€™s true and you deserve care, at the very least.
Dom Pinnacle​(dom male)
2 years ago • Jun 28, 2022
Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Jun 28, 2022
That should be a HUGE red flag for you. Unless you find out he's in the hospital or dealing with serious life issues, he should be cancelled. Imagine what he'll do later, if he's this cold. Walk away.
Lazuli
2 years ago • Jun 28, 2022
Lazuli • Jun 28, 2022
SirTOuTOO wrote:
Sweetlydepraved wrote:
Do not allow yourself to suffer because you think that your (potential) Dominant is ā€œtestingā€ you (as suggested above). There is no good reason for a reduction of communication that hasnā€™t been negotiated previously. Such a ā€œtestā€ is counterintuitive to everything that the dynamic is supposed to stand for. Trust, shared values, acceptance, love. You are a submissive but in no way does that mean that someone is allowed to harm you emotionally or physically. A submissive can be particularly vulnerable to the cold shoulder and submarine behavior (where he randomly pops in and out) can be very damaging to your psyche.


.
YES,... but you are making an assumption.
- I wrote of the possibilities,... regardless if they are right or wrong.
- CONTEXT is everything,... and is TOTALLY missing in the original post.
.
2u2


I think the context is fully present in tone and utilization of this forum. There are unclear things, and in order to facilitate a solution to this communication problem anyone unsure of the boundaries of the exchange should seek clarification.

How can a person how trust if there is understanding of the parameters and expectations?

How can this person confidently exist within guidelines they donā€™t understand?

I would the very fact this sub doesnā€™t feel confident in the communication is why they turn to this forum. And if you arenā€™t confident in the communication how can you trust them with your well being?

Fuck em. If this is a new thing fuck em extra, this is as good as it will ever be. Unclear and unsure. Ditch em.
SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+ā˜•}
2 years ago • Jun 28, 2022
If it was the first time it happened? Reach out and ask what's wrong? Did something happen?

*I once lost contact for 5 days the day after I first had sex with the guy (who later became my Dom-now ex) and 5 days later I get a message from him. He had a heart attack the day after (yup! I almost killed him was the joke from then on! šŸ¤£šŸ¤£) and was in the hospital.

If once you discuss it and it doesn't change or it happens again, then really think about what your needs are, what you require, and if he can provide that.
Bunnie
2 years ago • Jun 28, 2022
Bunnie • Jun 28, 2022
@ newbiesubfiftyfive,

ā€œWhat is the correct response in this situation with a D/sā€

Iā€™m curiousā€¦ what do *you* feel is the correct response in this situation?

Sometimes we can know the answer to these types of questions, but we just struggle to trust ourselves.
Zelia
2 years ago • Jun 28, 2022
Zelia • Jun 28, 2022
I think I misunderstood your post, after reading it again I understand that this is a question that youā€™ve seen asked, rather than your own personal situation.

In that case I agree with your response, a submissive is, as previously noted, a human with feelings. They should always be able to ask their partner questions, including why patterns of communication have changed so dramatically.
new Luna​(sub female)
2 years ago • Jun 28, 2022
new Luna​(sub female) • Jun 28, 2022
AlaĆÆs wrote:
I think I misunderstood your post, after reading it again I understand that this is a question that youā€™ve seen asked, rather than your own personal situation.

In that case I agree with your response, a submissive is, as previously noted, a human with feelings. They should always be able to ask their partner questions, including why patterns of communication have changed so dramatically.




She took my original advise after reading the comments and sent a message. So far no response after message sent 2 days ago. I am not surprised that he did not respond. She is heartbroken sadly
Yes I am new sub , but I am old enough to give advise on men I hope she listens and won't repeat her lesson learned next time. Now need to help her heal.
Thanks everyone