Low effort messages from dudes

Steellover​(sub male) • May 1, 2024

I don't generally send messages on here to people at all, unless it is something specific to either a blog or a forum post, and more often than not it is easier to just respond to the post in question, than to send a PM.

However in the past, on past online dating sites, I generally put in quite a bit of effort into my initial contact introductory messages. If I felt that a possible connection would be there, I would briefly talk about myself; which doesn't mean that I'd give my entire autobiography, but rather, more like a general introduction- and mention the specific things I liked about her based on what she wrote in her profile. I would really put effort in to trying to connect with someone on an intellectual level beyond just "uh, hey baby, lets, uhhh, you know, uh, hook up."

If I felt that our relationship goals, likes and dislikes, and so on weren't compatible, or if I thought we weren't compatible for other reasons, I typically wouldn't bother contacting them (unless I had a comment or question about something else they had written on a forum or blog.)

But with that said, it's already been mentioned that, no matter how much thoughtful effort you put into a message, it is all too common that people still won't respond. I mean, I get it; some women do receive a lot of unsolicited "Fan Mail" and I would imagine it is particularly difficult for female dominants in that respect, since they are in so much demand. They probably have to weed through so much crap that even the thoughtful intro messages can get discarded along with the chaff, or else they simply don't have the time or energy to respond to everyone. That was what I ran into on other fetish dating sites I was on (including the now-mostly defunct Collarspace.)

chattel​(sub female) • May 2, 2024

This won't ever change, most don't know how to put in effort

I'mME • May 2, 2024

Austisticbarbie,

While Miki can certainly take care of herself, I don't know wby you think it's okay to label somone else witb that bullshit. I already said something to yiu about it. And now I'm saying it again. Do YOU know what that word means?
What appointed you to label anybody..
Notice the lack of a question mark, because its rhetorical.

InATimelyFashion • May 18, 2024

Low effect ?

Low effect messages they come off no respect , short words , no creativity they get what they get served nothing that right nothing know meaning to enter just dis-peered message like you don't know them.  But you gotta set limits if they can't respect you they don't get nothing.  No Growth have a nice day.  It's a waste of time to focus on something that not pouring the same not in the same vibe stay busy and refresh your life.  Gentlemen need to have a vision, take action, be creative to keep women all women wants is someone that can win their heart and mean it take the time slowly they want to feel protected and safe they are the only women. Women won't by in to men that collect women that crap won't last they go find someone that can keep her show it take her own in pubic.
They get what they get served sh#t on a shingle they asked for it. I know it goes the other way around but women do not chase , beg they get better things so someone that has patience for them is willing to make room for them to show effect with blue prints not sweet words.

I know it takes two to tango but they need to be creative to keep you interested. They have to win you over by getting emotionally invested before getting hooked.  Don't get hooked till you know it's right.  If they know chemistry, I wish them well.

Short words
Hey sexy , nice body  this won't get a message back.

Account with other alts same message.
How are you feeling?
How is your journey?
Same thing over.   Won't get nothing in return.

Are you interested in slavery?  Know respect, no nothing you been served Sh#t on shingle.

SageFlame​(sub female) • May 19, 2024

Conversation skills develop the same way a skilled dancer develops. It takes intension, effort, practice and a willingness to get out there even when you know you will fall.

*To those who text one or two word intros or responses:

It isn't so important to be a great conversationalist, what Is important is to know what your next choice will be.

What do You want? Go for it!
Who do you want to be? Be that.
Enjoy life.

Six Foot Four • May 19, 2024

The art of conversation is a lost one, as most people would rather stare at their phones than interact with the world around them. You didn't bother to capitalize or properly punctuate your original query, so the 'dudes' would seem to have a kindred spirit in you. Why would you expect a level of effort you're unwilling to put in yourself?

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • May 19, 2024

Oooooh.... Ouch! 😁

Garv​(dom male) • May 20, 2024

Low effort messages? The effort has been made by responding to you posting in “Find Friends” or “Seeking” post. I'll open with a “Hi, I'd enjoy chatting with you, Hows your day going.”. Why do you think I need to give you a resume or bio of my life?

I've been here at $tarBucks for about an hour and a half and have had two conversations ( short, as they were on there way to work ) that started with no more than a “Good Morning”.

Why should it be different here?

Miki​(masochist female) • May 20, 2024

... Well I don't need to take care of myself this time around as I didn't see "autisticbarbie" slap me (or anyone) with any labels unless such a post was edited or deleted...

No matter: But as for her original post, I can see her point, a little substance in an introductoy message can better foster further conversation wheras I cannot speak for myself because I almost never "reach out" to anyone-- that is initiate contact for friendship and/or , obviously as one not looking, anyone anywhere online. But that's just how I roll. Everyone is different. Conversely, as also posted, I am just fine with "Hi there" etc. And on the rare instance I actually reach out, and if it is a male, I'll open with something brief and no longer "original" like "Hey, dude, how's it hangin'?"

I try to be a stickler for punctuation and other grammatical horseshit on what I post or write, but more often than I like, I skip some little marks or misspell a word, usually a typo, but that is because the only way to communicate with me, in person or online -- is "the written word". I could read lips, but who the fuck wants to have a conversation over coffee looking at someone's mouth? Most of the time that's something only a dentist would love.

And mea culpa, more than a few times over the years I have run off the rails in here so if or whenever someone puts a label on me I generally let it pass. No skin off my ass.

------------------------------------------------

@ six-foot-four... Double "ouch"!
But hey, a lot of the times good old fashioned bare-ass honesty and shoot-from-the-hip wisdom is best in the long run.

I'mME • May 20, 2024

Miki,

I know I'm probably going to regret this.

I was referring to her calling you a ''pick me''.