Lady Char(sub female)
|
4 years ago •
Dec 20, 2021
I really don't think you can rest any kind of case against a group of people using a single example from of one individual.
|
|
|
Online now
| Defender(dom male) |
4 years ago •
Dec 20, 2021
I have been interested in this thread - apart from some peoples' propensity to get confrontational at the drop of a hat, and start taking swipes at each other. (Is this a US cultural thing? )
Whatever, please do not do that to me. Disagree if you wish but maintain some control over your aggression please. So my view? Having read and listened to you all, it seems to me that the problem stems from the Vanilla concept of a brat. In vanilla life, a brat or calling someone a brat is almost always negative. "The neighbour's brat did so and so...." "Some brat in the restaurant started chucking its food about". Etc. Etc. The trouble is that within BDSM it just isn't the same. Bratty behaviour is usually with a specific person. Often to get a certain reaction. That reaction is not to get the Dom to walk away in utter disgust, but quite the opposite. The crucial thing is the relationship between the parties. And predominantly that the Dom is ultimately in control. I once had a brat. She teased, provoked, even p.ssed me off sometimes. But when push came to shove - SHE OBEYED. Without question. She accepted that ultimately only one of us was the Dom - and had the final say. I don't know how this resonates with others, but my point is that the vanilla concept of a brat is not (or should not be) the BDSM concept of a brat. (I almost wish there was a different word for Brat within BDSM) By all means disagree, but please do not try to point-score. This is a discussion forum, not a boxing ring. |
|
|
|
Lady Char(sub female)
|
4 years ago •
Dec 20, 2021
► Defender wrote: I have been interested in this thread - apart from some peoples' propensity to get confrontational at the drop of a hat, and start taking swipes at each other. (Is this a US cultural thing? )
Whatever, please do not do that to me. Disagree if you wish but maintain some control over your aggression please. So my view? Having read and listened to you all, it seems to me that the problem stems from the Vanilla concept of a brat. In vanilla life, a brat or calling someone a brat is almost always negative. "The neighbour's brat did so and so...." "Some brat in the restaurant started chucking its food about". Etc. Etc. The trouble is that within BDSM it just isn't the same. Bratty behaviour is usually with a specific person. Often to get a certain reaction. That reaction is not to get the Dom to walk away in utter disgust, but quite the opposite. The crucial thing is the relationship between the parties. And predominantly that the Dom is ultimately in control. I once had a brat. She teased, provoked, even p.ssed me off sometimes. But when push came to shove - SHE OBEYED. Without question. She accepted that ultimately only one of us was the Dom - and had the final say. I don't know how this resonates with others, but my point is that the vanilla concept of a brat is not (or should not be) the BDSM concept of a brat. (I almost wish there was a different word for Brat within BDSM) By all means disagree, but please do not try to point-score. This is a discussion forum, not a boxing ring. 100% agree. The same word in a different context can have a very different meaning. People are pulling the connotations from a brat (spoiled child) to Brat (BDSM label). |
|
|
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
|
4 years ago •
Dec 20, 2021
► Defender wrote: I don't know how this resonates with others, but my point is that the vanilla concept of a brat is not (or should not be) the BDSM concept of a brat.
(I almost wish there was a different word for Brat within BDSM) By all means disagree, but please do not try to point-score. This is a discussion forum, not a boxing ring. I've been active in our kink for 25 years and "brat" is a name that's been openly embraced by those who identify in that manner. At least here in the U.S. There's been no attempt made to perhaps temper the perception by choosing a different descriptor so I'm assuming they find pride in being looked upon as "challenging and difficult." Certainly that seems to be the case if you simply go by the braggadocio *some* of them put on display at public play parties, munches and even on forums and social media. Case in point: Shuffle back through several previous "brat" threads that show up *here* on a near weekly basis around here and read the usual responses. The thing is: I don't believe this topic was introduced last night in any real attempt to "discuss" either the merits or disadvantages of brattiness since just last week there were several threads in play that turned combative without anything being resolved. Sometimes what presents as a valid discussion is really just pot stirring. |
|
|
Zvengali
|
4 years ago •
Dec 27, 2021
.............There should be one BRAT.... and He/She should be in a glass jar at the Smithsonian.....Useless energy spent. That is MY opinion, if you dont like it, or feel the need to retort....I dont care... GFYS
|
|
|
flitter'fly(sub female)
|
4 years ago •
Dec 27, 2021
► PrecorX wrote: Iβm curious. Why are we so focused on labels?
Do labels define the traits of a dynamic or do individuals? Does a label really define the whole of an individual? We are multi-dimensional beings. A person can be expected to respond differently when faced a particular environment, scenario or personality type. We canβt possibly be expected to fit into a box with only one label. Who are we to take one part of a multi-dimensional being, slap a label on it and determine whether itβs good or bad? Whether or not a trait has a place in our community? Every person is unique. Every dynamic is unique, as it is the reflection of two (or more) individuals. Those engaged in the dynamic are the ones to determine if a behavior or trait is acceptable. Why focus on the labels or sub types vs just simply getting to know the whole of an individual. To learn all of oneβs traits and not just stop at one. In my opinion what fits into a given dynamic is personal. Ask 10 people and receive 10 different answers. As a community, there should be a place for every REAL and authentic person who chooses to engage in this lifestyle, despite what their engagement may look like. |
|
|
|
flitter'fly(sub female)
|
4 years ago •
Dec 27, 2021
I was just talking to Sir. today. And asked why?
Why should we be labeled placed in a certain box. Why can we not just be us, no one eles is hear to do this for us. It is we that are living our life we make the rules on what is and is not. Some call me a Bratt. Truth is, everyone has that in them . I am head strong, independent sassy crazy silly. And yes can be that bitch. But does that qualify me as only a brat. Hell no. I am woman I am complex, I live, I breath, I have many forms, that make me unique. I am me. We are woman, we roar. Mighty Worriers. Complex beings. |
|
|
|
Zvengali
|
4 years ago •
Dec 27, 2021
...You people sure can beat a subject to death....I think this...and I think that.....and think we should just let everyone be themselves...and then we have the "I may be a bitch, but Im not a brat" people....And if you go and count how many times this subject has been presented. There has never been any cumulative agreement on ANYTHING....EVER. Not because we dont have the intellectuals and the not so well at making rhetorical sentence like the intellectuals...NOOOO It is a melting pot of ......NO ONE HAS A FUCKING IDEA..JUST THEIR OPINION......if being a brat is good or bad...... But make no mistake, our friends across the pond there, will straighten us out and "defend" us by USA bashing as a Cultural Thing.... This is here post is not made as a "lets take our corners and come out fighting " opinion. It is an observation of how ANY subject I have read her is treated.....Just beat it to death.... If you dont like my observation then GFYS
|
|
|
Dom Pinnacle(dom male)
|
4 years ago •
Dec 27, 2021
► Zvengali wrote: ...You people sure can beat a subject to death....I think this...and I think that.....and think we should just let everyone be themselves...and then we have the "I may be a bitch, but Im not a brat" people....And if you go and count how many times this subject has been presented. There has never been any cumulative agreement on ANYTHING....EVER. Not because we dont have the intellectuals and the not so well at making rhetorical sentence like the intellectuals...NOOOO It is a melting pot of ......NO ONE HAS A FUCKING IDEA..JUST THEIR OPINION......if being a brat is good or bad...... But make no mistake, our friends across the pond there, will straighten us out and "defend" us by USA bashing as a Cultural Thing.... This is here post is not made as a "lets take our corners and come out fighting " opinion. It is an observation of how ANY subject I have read her is treated.....Just beat it to death.... If you dont like my observation then GFYS
You're not gonna change minds with that post. You just come off as a bitter old man. Start a thread about how it used to be. Give everybody a different perspective. And if they don't like it, then tell em GFYS. |
|
|
SirsBabyDoll(sub female){π+β}
|
4 years ago •
Dec 27, 2021
I GLADLY fuck myself...daily.
But most people just call it masterbation and that's a great thing! Thanks for the permission but it was unnecessary. ? |
|
|