Firmhand(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Jul 24, 2022
Having said the above, and as someone who favors living my life in the here and now rather than ape genre fiction of the past, it has to be said that responsible, contemporary D/s and BDSM culture owes a great deal to the traditions, protocols and rules of Gorean-derived Old Guard practices.
It's simply that it seems to me more difficult, less sustainable and therefore less likely to be able to maintain such a lifestyle here and now and the likelihood of running into such genuine people IRL is less than it was. And I have encountered those who claim to that go to dangerous extremes out of ignorance and disrespect. There was a rather lurid court case some years ago here in the Midwest where a fellow who kept a so-called "Gorean House" ended up charged and convicted of several counts of aggravated rape, statutory rape and human trafficking. Turned out I had attended play parties and demonstrations with this guy and had no Earthly idea. So, I meant my comments above only as a caution. |
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Online now
Chalybe(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Jul 24, 2022
I think there are some protocols of the Old Guard that are worthy of being followed today.
Honesty, communication, truth and respect are called the "four pillars" of a relationship. I see lots of heartache - most of it in the DD/lg community from my view, where these practices are not followed. The other thing I follow is I will not speak to a collared slave/sub unless either given permission by their owner, or spoken to first by that person. I think that is just basic respect. And yes, this was around long before the Gor novels. The Gorean stuff is fine if you want to do that, personally I don't care for it. YKINMK, BYKIOk. Live and let live. |
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ZackFrak
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2 years ago •
Aug 15, 2022
No one coming into kink in the last 10-20 years or so gives a crap about the old guard and their "high protocols." I've met some of these guys and it's hard to take them seriously, but they take themselves so seriously.
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
Aug 15, 2022
ZackFrak wrote: No one coming into kink in the last 10-20 years or so gives a crap about the old guard and their "high protocols." I've met some of these guys and it's hard to take them seriously, but they take themselves so seriously.
What were some things you found to be hard to take seriously? |
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ZackFrak
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2 years ago •
Aug 16, 2022
I'mME wrote: ZackFrak wrote: No one coming into kink in the last 10-20 years or so gives a crap about the old guard and their "high protocols." I've met some of these guys and it's hard to take them seriously, but they take themselves so seriously.
What were some things you found to be hard to take seriously? |
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Zelia
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2 years ago •
Aug 16, 2022
Hey Zack
The things You have described are not really Old Guard or particularly high protocol. They’re fairly common to be honest. |
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Aug 16, 2022
Zack,
I agree with Alais on this one. While it is common in M/s dynamics, it's not really Old Guard as I understand it. |
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Aug 16, 2022
ZackFrak wrote: Have a good friend of mine, a woman who was with one of these old, high protocol guys. Tried to explain to me why she couldn't hang out because she now had a bed time and all kinds of other restrictions. I told domly dom dude that he can do his thing with her but he isn't dictating any rules over me by extension.
He can't dictate to you, however, she could have severed her friendship with you. By respecting HIS rules, you respect her and her choices. It's part of the kink lifestyle. YOU don't have to live that style in your dynamics, but they do and it was their consensual choice. Quote: I think he had a ridiculous, tabulated handbook for her to follow too. That didn't last long. Writing in all lower case as a sub is another goofy thing they do.
It may be irritating for you, however, it's THEIR choice. Disrespecting it just because you disagree with it amounts to kink shaming. You wouldn't want it done to you so if you want your preferences respected, you have to respect other people's choice. |
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Sweetlydepraved(masochist female){I Guess }
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2 years ago •
Aug 16, 2022
I agree that writing in all lowercase seems to be silly, I do not see the point of butchering language in order to show some kind of respect or add some type of value to your submission. I feel that it’s equivalent to wearing a name tag that says “Hi I’m submissive” opposed to expressing your submission in your mannerisms, your eloquent use of language, and your knowledge. That’s fine, I think it’s silly, my opinion. Others may feel that they need to express themselves in this way, it may add an additional layer of depth to their lived experience as a submissive. Also fine for them.
I felt like what Zack was saying is that the submissive mentioned suddenly had what amounts to a big old rule book dumped into her life. It may have been her choice to follow his lead but he should also carry the responsibility that comes with it, in part getting her accustomed to new standards in her life and melding his rules into her life in a thoughtful and balanced way. From what Zack say things didn’t last between them for very long, and this happens time and time again because most people don’t know the first thing about human behavior. |
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Zelia
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2 years ago •
Aug 16, 2022
I write in lower case when I talk to my Master, just for my name, since I write in the third person. I draw the line at lower case ‘i’ my phone hates it and it tries my patience beyond what’s reasonable, further as a former teacher it’s difficult for me to look at!
I think that it’s all part of my own mindset. It helps me ‘feel’ my place. I see it in the same way as capitalising ‘Master’. It’s not that important and doesn’t harm anyone, just personal protocol. |
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