Ever worried you’ll end up alone?

Kelpi • Apr 19, 2021

There are times I have that feeling. I move to often and I seem to meet great people then say the wrong thing to chase them off. The older I get the more I wonder if I should even care to look any more. I am to old for the young and not young enough for the older ones. I think most of it comes from not being able to put up with all the crap that is going on, Being raised in the south I still call people sir or ma'am. I think every woman should be treated as a lady till you get home and you can use her like a slut. This just puts me in a different area than most and at times I think it does not help when meeting someone new. Well at least outside the life.
Yes there are days when I look around and think of all the times I could have just settled down and been semi happy with life if I had just given up that problem I have about answering the call for help when I hear it. To many time I have been the only one that could or would answer the call. As Green Day said it I walk a lonely road but I have my shadow to walk beside me. On sunny days I am never truly alone.

Sesten • Apr 19, 2021

I have started to write this reply several times, and stopped. I think I am scared of actually sharing this thought with other people. But I spend a lot of my time terrified that I’ll end up alone. I have had some magnificent relationships with some magnificent women, buy all of them for various reasons have ended. And even though I’m friends with a lot of my exes, that doesn’t keep me warm at night.

And it makes it even harder now that I have accepted that the happiest relationship that I could have would be a master/slave relationship.

HEAVEN'S STARCHILD​(switch female) • Apr 19, 2021

no, you're not alone on this journey ((HUGS))

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 19, 2021

Alone

I was married for 10 years, then again for 20 and felt very alone. I've been single since 2018. Though the idealist in me wanted things to get better. I know now that was not possible. Hindsight is fabulous!

While married I was willing to grow old without an adventurous sex life ( if you will). I have a variety of interests and like to live simply.

Life can change on a dime. One day can change the trajectory of your future without your consent. What we resist often persists. I have embraced my single status ( understatement) and do not plan to cohabitate.

Afraid

I am only afraid of not living to full potential.

Connection -

I crave connection but for me this is relative to the day and who I cross paths with. I'm not speaking exclusively of sexual desires or that dopamine high. I honestly enjoy listening to people's stories. To gain a window into their life. Over the years I learned this brings a kind of satisfaction nothing else can .

I'm skimming over the top here but in a nutshell I am happy to ride the waves and take hold of what life offers. This may or may not mean someone is there to the end. But Im not living for the end.

Im living now.

In genealogy, we have a saying. It's not the dates that matter but what happened in between. Ie. Birth - Death

I'm showing up for my life and that is enough.

DaddiesPumpkin​(switch female){Not Lookin} • Apr 19, 2021

On the topic of relationships of Love:
A reoccurring thought... Yes.
and a cycle that needs to be broken.

(Unless I need some Me time... Then I don't mind being alone, lol.)

✨

Taramafor​(sub male) • Apr 19, 2021

You only proved your hypocrisy. You WILLINGLY choose ignorance. Don't pretend it will kill you to flip through a few pages.

I have a life too. But you don't see me using it as an excuse.

I think it's you that needs to grow. You clearly shown you have trust issues and have even admitted as such. But it's called trust "issues" for a reason. Where's your accountability for it?

And that is why people end up more lonely. Because all they do is make targets, try to claim the moral high ground, preach about what they want you to do, yet never admit that they are what they complain about. Not even talking about just subhush. Too many people do it.

Also, it's rather pathetic to try and get the last word in and act like you know it all. You never asked. You didn't try to be understanding. You just went "I know it all and fuck you". Basically. Don't be that person that acts like only your opinion is the one that matters. Or are you so egotistic that you believe you know it all when you can't read my mind? You SEE ignorance. But why should I justify myself to a closed minded person with trust issues such as yourself when all you do is judge and try to get the last word in? You don't want to understand. You'd much rather live in your sheltered little illusion you conjured up about me.

LoyalWolf​(sub male) • Jun 2, 2021

sub male here...
Yes, it is a fear that I have. It is perhaps a fate worse than death in my eyes....
At least I have come to terms with the latter and I am not afraid of it.
We are by our very biology social creatures, so being alone really sucks. Not because we need companionship for survival, but because to simply be with someone who understands you.... that is something special.

But what can one do? You play the cards you were dealt.
All I can do is make a good effort into finding that special Dominant woman. A vanilla relationship wont work for me. I tried that.
So life goes on and occasionally you end up making crappy excuses when your friends or co-workers wonder why you aren't married or why you arent in a serious relationship.

And then a thought goes through my head that maybe I could be happy without a Dominant partner or maybe I can just introduce a vanilla partner to this....
I guess it is also possible I am just setting myself up for failure and approaching everything the wrong way.
I am not going to lie and say I have a roadmap for this.... I don't.

Re: Ever worried you’ll end up alone?

Steellover​(sub male) • Jun 2, 2021

I've been into "The lifestyle" for 20 years as a submissive male, in search of a female top/domme to connect with both on a kink level and as romantic partner in a female led relationship. And it's been a lonely existence. When you have your first kinky awakenings, the feelings are overpowering and you just want to fulfill your new and powerful fantasies. But after a while you quickly realize that it's not enough, you still crave intimacy, companionship; romance. Needless to say despite my time that I claim to have been "in the lifestyle" my actual real life experience has been limited, mainly to paid professionals and one very brief and unsuccessful fling.

So to answer the question, yes, I am afraid of ending up alone, and yes, I have long since come to the realization that I have to make a choice: Either hold onto a dwindling hope that the "Dominant Goddess of my Dreams" is still out there.... or date someone who's "Vanilla" and not into the lifestyle at all. I've chosen the latter option: Dating someone who I can still love, adore, and admire, who is a partner for intimacy, companionship and romance, but who probably is not really into "using me the way I crave to be used." And at this point I've made peace with that decision.

People will tell you it's much harder for us submissive guys to find dominant/kinky females than the other way around. And while this is true- many, many guys on this site will know from what I speak, the original post makes it clear that it can be hard for anyone to find the partner of their dreams. And I wish that for everyone, that everyone may ultimately find happiness, whoever they are with.

(Although I am not actually dating anyone at the moment, to be honest, I didn't join the site with the intent of "Finding someone" but rather to converse with like minded people and share ideas, experiences, kinks, etc.)

BBWbutAlsoLittle​(sub female) • Jun 2, 2021

You are not alone at all, I worry about ending up alone myself and never finding my slave/sub. You have to wake up every day with a wave of positivity in your heart but it's hard some days and you just want to give up. Sometimes some people make it worth getting up in the morning. In the end you have to think about how much you love and value yourself and can't just give into that feeling, or to find just anyone to give yourself to. Trust me, i've been there too. Keep your head up, your day will come!

Alexis K​(switch male){Exploring} • Jun 2, 2021

I think it's like most things in life, there will always be doubts and worries but as long as you don't let them rule you everything should be fine.
Lots of people have trouble with loneliness, myself included, but it's natural to worry! Just keep that chin up and do your best everyday, that's how I try to live.