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A Struggling Dom

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1 year ago • 01/08/2019 5:20 am
Bunnie • 01/08/2019 5:20 am
Hi @ Dom Con, in all honesty... what stood out to me the most here, is 5 subs in 6 years. Something in that suggests to me that there is an instability within whatever you have happening in your dynamic. Before I get jumped on for judging... this is not a personal attack, as I don’t know you... I’m merely going by what I’ve read above. I point this out because sometimes we can be looking at one thing... and that’s entirely not the problem at all. I don’t think age matters tbh... you’ll always find someone with a preference that matches that of yours in regards to things like that. I’d be looking more at things like stability, consistency, availability... sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate. Are you being realistic about what you can have and offer at the moment? These are the areas I would suggest looking at. Hopefully that might help icon_smile.gif
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Belladonna Dreams
1 year ago • 01/08/2019 3:23 am
Belladonna Dreams • 01/08/2019 3:23 am
Personally, i know i like someone older then me and because im newer i need someone with some experience. Seeing as how you have 8 years experience, i dont believe with be a problem for most. Beyond that im unsure.
Kara​(sub female){Not Yours }
1 year ago • 01/08/2019 1:33 am
Kara​(sub female){Not Yours } • 01/08/2019 1:33 am
Honestly, you would be a no to me because of your age. Many submissive women my age look for a man who would also fit into their vanilla life, which usually precludes an age gap. Maybe if I were 18, but not at 37.
MissBonnie​(dom female){<oz>}
1 year ago • 01/08/2019 1:22 am
MissBonnie​(dom female){<oz>} • 01/08/2019 1:22 am
The only person you need to prove how "dom~ly" you are to, is your submissive. No one else really matters (in the general plan of life) as long as what you are doing is SSC (or at least RACK) and more importantly consensual.
As for age, its a number to me. I've met 70 year olds that behave like children and 20 somethings that have told me to grow up! Again your age is only reliant to those that it matters to.

if being the popular, well known Dom is important to you...then make yourself so! The community is open to those who want teach others or campaign for us to seen in a good light.

if your looking for subs, look in the right places, with realistic expectations and be open and honest with those around you. Enjoy the process of looking/dating/playing/trying. Sometimes Dom/mes or subs that are desperate for ownership, tend to focus to much on being alone and all another sees in them is "desperate" ..Desperate isn't an attractive or good trait. Just enjoy the company of others and be comfortable in your skin, the rest will follow if its meant to.
Dom Con​(dom male)
1 year ago • 01/08/2019 12:15 am

A Struggling Dom

Dom Con​(dom male) • 01/08/2019 12:15 am
Good Evening All,

Firstly Thank you for taking the time to read this Post, it is greatly appreciated.

So the reason for this post is, I am at a loss as a Dom, and have been for a while...

I have a been a Dom for roughly 8 years, during this time I have had the immense pleasure of having 5 previous subs and D/s relationships, each sub and relationship holds a special place with me, and fond memories, I will treasure forever...

And that brings me back to the now, I have been without a sub for almost 2 years due to family and life in general (new baby and career for anyone's interest) now I am currently struggling to find a sub and not only a sub in that but a muse, and have been for a while...

I am at a loss as I feel, rightly or wrongly depending on your personal view that my age is a contributing factor with this, I feel I am given less respect and acknowledgement from not only subs but also fellow Doms...

To all the subs out their of all types, ages, walks of life, colors and creeds does age matter too you value a maturer Dom over a younger one ?
Does a younger Dom fill you with anxiety and suspense that they are only interested in 'getting their leg over' ?
These are questions that haunt me constantly and are effecting my confidence and general processing.

To my fellow Doms, well does that statement even ring true with older Doms, do you judge me from my age and perceived 'lack of experience' ?
Am I a lesser Dom in your eyes ?
Do you see me or others like me as children playing dress-up in their father's clothes, pretending to be something we are not ?

I have known and acknowledged who I am as a person in this community and it is a Dom, I have experienced such moments of bliss and release in being a Dom, I simply cannot fathom other ways of being.
Being a Dom is who I am, yet I feel I constantly have to 'prove' myself in the eyes of others...
So tell me if we spoke, would you respect me as a equal, fellow Doms or look down your nose at me with contempt ?
Would you the potential Sub, see me as a true and proper Dom or a clown performing an act ?

I love this community, with a passion equal to a relationship, I cannot hide what I am, and refuse to be held in contempt due to my age, Judge me on my knowledge, my passion, my intentions, my drive and my lust but do not judge me by my age...
In my most beloved community, I am without a sub and a muse, such as a painter is without his brush or a composer without his instrument...
My conviction will drive me forward but with a community I have spent so much time with and energy on, in and with, I have come to a loss...

I do not expect this forum to grant me release or clarity rather, I want to hear your voices, my community's voice, voices from the Subs, the Doms, the Switches and everyone in-between, agree with me, argue with me, hate me, love me I do not care which but do not ignore me...I want to hear everything and all you have to say...

On that final note I once again thank you for taking your most precious of commodity, your time and giving it to me by reading this post,
I wish you all the very best and the best kinky fun you can have ...

Dom Con