Monogamous, open, and polyamorous

Monogamous, open, and polyamorous

Jayy146​(sub female) • Feb 12, 2019

Monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships are very different and mean something different to each individual. What are your thoughts and opinions on each? And which do you prefer and why?

Zaramia​(dom female) • Feb 12, 2019

I don't know that I care if it's monogamous, or poly, but I I do think you have to all love one another equally, and absolutely, or you have to be a person for whom those emotional limits can be held.
It does not work if you love someone deeply and fully, if they cannot, or do not, love you back, like that.

SoaringFree​(sub female) • Feb 12, 2019

I'm a monogamous relationship girl. I've tried polyamorous and realized I just couldn't share. Primal ownership kicked in. Figured the open relationship option was a no brainer no go.

Kitty21​(sub female) • Feb 12, 2019

Personally, I am monogamous, but I’ve always admired true poly relationships, and even open relationships. The strength and confidence shown is astounding. (I’m talking about healthy poly and open relationships—not those who use it as an excuse to cheat)
But on the monogamous side, I love that Daddy has chosen me, and I have chosen him, and that we complete each other.

CrimsonPaw • Feb 12, 2019

Wow! That's a loaded question! From what I've experienced some people have their own interpretation of each. They also seem to apply different boundaries/expectations/restrictions to best suit the dynamic they want.

This is a great topic. I'm fairly new and still learning. I'm excited to read everyone's responses.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Feb 12, 2019

I agree it is a loaded question. We all have how we define each. And with that said i can only speak for myself and my relationship.

I am in a slighty different type of mixture relationship. While we are both open to having a pack. And in a way we all ready do have one. We are at the same time monogamous.

And i know that might not make much sense to others but those that know us / or are part of our pack understand.

ropefish • Feb 12, 2019

I consider myself to be poly (although I'm not sure I've ever experienced what most people would consider a typical poly relationship).

I've always been the kind of person that gels with people really quickly. I feel like I become intimate more quickly and more often than an average person.

In my early relationships, before I knew what poly was, I would constantly slut shame myself for not being satisfied by one person. I genuinely thought something was wrong with me. I tried to put my feelings aside and be monogamous, and every time it made me feel trapped and miserable, and I ended up lashing out and hurting the person I was with because of it.

Finding out that there are alternatives to monogamy.... It was such a vital discovery for me. I know now that it's okay to be how I am, as long as I communicate it and everyone's consenting. I'm so much happier now, I don't feel like a shitty person, or trapped in relationships, or torn apart by my feelings.

The people in my life all bring something different to the table. My relationship with each person is completely different, and I value all of them. My life is richer and happier now, and I feel more true to myself.

MasterNeil77722​(dom male) • Feb 12, 2019

I demand total devotation from my sub and in return I give her my undivided attention. It seems disrespectful to do it any other way in my opinion. For me the deeper the commitment the stronger the bond. There are enough distractions from the vanilla world, I don’t need to add more.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Feb 12, 2019

For me...

Monogamous = Only one partner. You and your partner are the only ones you see. No one else.
Open = You and your partner are the only ones actually together, but you two can see others outside of each other. Perhaps one has a secondary relationship or something of the sort. But it's not you two sharing people. You're sleeping around on your own.
Poly = Everyone is in a relationship with everyone else. You and your partner have a third, who is also a part of the relationship. Maybe a fourth, fifth, ect. But /everyone/ is together. No, "I'm with x, but also with y. X isn't with y though."

For me, monogamy all the way. I'm... Not interested in sharing or having multiple partners. My love has desires to be Poly though so at the very least, I think about it, often, to see if my mind ever changes. Hasn't yet, and I don't think it will, but who knows.

ropefish • Feb 12, 2019

I just.... I just have to respond.... because the word 'disrespectful' is a bit triggering for me haha.

I know that this is definitely not always the case, but I do still feel judged when words like that get brought up. There's a 'live and let live' attitude for sure, which is great. But I still feel like people look at the lifestyles of people like me and think that our relationships are less intimate, or that we are being inherently disrespectful to our partners.

I might just be paranoid. I hope I'm just being paranoid haha. BUT on the off chance that someone reading thinks that being non-monogamous is disrespectful by nature, I respond with this:

What is or is not respectful is clearly subjective. I'm sure there are vanilla people that think that hitting your partner is inherently disrespectful, regardless of context or what the participating parties want. And that would feel condescending, right? If someone was like 'you do you, but I don't think your relationship is as morally sound as mine'. Obviously hitting your sub is not inherently disrespectful. In the same way, being non monogamous is not disrespectful, providing all involved are consenting and happy with the arrangement.

Again, I desperately hope I'm projecting. I'm sure plenty of monogamous people understand that it's just a different way to live, no better and no worse, and I appreciate and respect the people who understand that.