How to let someone know they aren't your type?

How to let someone know they aren't your type?

JD Dom​(dom male) • Mar 28, 2020

How do you folks let someone know that you aren't attracted to them in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings?

Zedland​(dom male) • Mar 28, 2020

You are going to hurt their feelings. It is unavoidable. Trying to avoid it will just cause more hurt.

Be direct, honest, and make it clear without being to insulting.

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Kintsugi} • Mar 28, 2020

Just be honest, if you prolong the situation it’ll only cause more resentment and hurt so if you aren’t “feeling” it then let them know! Just say you don’t think you two are a good match.

ropefish • Mar 28, 2020

Mature people will respond to polite honest rejection in a mature way. If someone responds immaturely, just appreciate that you didn't end up with someone who can't appreciate honesty. They still have growing to do (as do we all). Hopefully they'll learn from the experience.

Take it from a people pleaser who used to ghost in order to avoid being honest. It'll probably at least sting a little either way anyway, and honesty is for sure the best policy. As far as specifics go, I normally say that the chemistry's just not there, which is true for me in all cases. That way it's not the fault of either party, you're just not compatible.

Rejection

JD Dom​(dom male) • Mar 28, 2020

THank you all for your good ideas. I ended up being direct about us not having the right chemistry. Which is true. So thanks for the help.

Dunimos​(dom male) • Mar 29, 2020

It's tough sometimes for Doms to do this odly. It shows the kind of Dom you are for caring about the others reaction. Commendable sir... good man.

Chemistry is a good out, and offer to keep in touch and all may also help. I'm in communication with a few submissives who know we will not pursue anything but they need some guidance or some outlet for their submissive nature.

As much as I appreciate this site and sites like it, I think we need a cultural norm where submissives are protected and Dominants are propey developed to understand the responsibility. I think the lack of such training and protection is what enables so many submissives to be taken advantage of and end up hurt.

Rant over... I 😁

MasterBear​(other butch) • Mar 29, 2020

Repeat after me

" I am flattered but your not my type"

Not debatable.

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • Mar 29, 2020

My go-to is, "I'm just not feeling it." Most people, hurt or not, accept this and move on. Some try to ask for more specific details, but based on my history:

* giving details can lead to more pain than just the rejection, especially when I can give multiple examples of crap behavior that can't be justified without some serious soul searching

* "not feeling it" doesn't give them anything to debate with me, and they're looking for an arguing point to try to change my mind with their words after me just experiencing the person directly couldn't convince me

If they pitch a fit, I walk away. I said my piece, and it's not my job to teach them how to adult enough (or whatever the issue is) and thus turn them into who I'm looking for.

No Body​(dom male) • Mar 29, 2020

Been there a few times. Just talk to them and let them know it is not going to happen. Friendship is one thing but nothing else.

Miss Tia​(sub female) • Mar 29, 2020

Honesty is the best policy

I've have to tell a few Dom's in the past that they weren't my type...some responded nicely and I'm still friends with them. Others not so nice and they were blocked.