How did you discovered you were a sub/dom/switch ?

How did you discovered you were a sub/dom/switch ?

esmeralda​(masochist female) • Apr 9, 2020

Hi! So this is my first post in the forum so I wanted to know your stories of how did you discovered this part of yourselves or if it was something you always knew.

I hope you'll like to share it

TheDankLord​(switch male) • Apr 9, 2020

I was literally just thinking about this earlier today. Its definitely something I always knew.

I've been into BDSM of some form or another since I was first old enough to understand what BDSM was. It started with bondage, and moved into other things from there. Since I was a kid I'd always been fascinated with the idea of being tied up. I always loved the scenes in movies and cartoons where a character was tied up, handcuffed, or otherwise restrained. I just got a funny feeling inside me, a curiosity. I would fantasize about what it would be like to be restrained in that way? Of course, at that time I didn't really understand what that was. But once I hit puberty I started figuring out a little more about why I enjoyed such ideas. I found that I'd get really aroused when I was restrained. I'd use various things around the house to restrain myself. Nothing that was super effective, but I'd pretend I could not get out. Putting both feet in one sock, tying myself with string, and a couple other things. I got a blindfold at one point too, and started playing with that.

At that point I'd never been in real restraints, but eventually I managed to purchase a pair of handcuffs and a pair of leg irons without my parents knowing. I'd wear them when I was home alone, sometimes at night in my room too. But I eventually found out I liked being on the other end just as much as being tied myself. Once I was at that age where I started to visit some websites my parents probably would have rather me not visited, it wasn't long before it occurred to me to search for pictures of girls tied up and in other restraints. Needless to say I liked what I saw.

I had a gf for a short while, and at one point I got her to let me put the cuffs on her. One time I hog cuffed her and tickled her bare feet. She was submissive and normally insisted that she be the one who wore the cuffs, but there were a couple times I succeeded in persuading her to put them on me too, and it was really fun both ways.

So it pretty much started with bondage and grew from there. By late High School/early college I became interested in spanking, roll play, power exchange, foot fetish, straitjackets etc. etc. etc. I bought more restraints, hinged handcuffs and thumbcuffs as well as a few other things, and even did a little self-bondage with rope. Now I'm into all sorts of stuff and still exploring. BDSM seems to be pretty hard wired into my sexuality for some reason, and kink is one of the main things I look for in a sexual partner.

esmeralda​(masochist female) • Apr 9, 2020

Thank you so much for opening up and sharing it !

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Apr 9, 2020

Hardy Boys (lol). Kept re-reading the kidnapping scenes, didn't know why until a few years later.

"The thug reinforced the belt which held Joe's hands with stout Manila rope. He tied Joe's ankles too, and then moved on to bind Jerry. All the while . . . Stumbling in the gloom, Joe and Jerry were dragged far back into the cave. The place smelled musty and damp. Stark threw them to the ground and walked away. The boys waited in silence until their eyes became more accustomed to the darkness. Then Joe felt a chill up and down his spine as he discerned the shape of someone lying beside him! Could it be Chet or Biff? Wriggling over, Joe nudged the unknown prisoner. He moaned, as though dazed, and turned his face upward. "

Bruh. Kindaaa hot.

esmeralda​(masochist female) • Apr 9, 2020

For me it was at 9 years old, even though I didn't understand at a time. It was during school, we were reading a book about the evolution of school through out history so it told how many years ago students wrote in stones and things like that. But the thing that most caught my attention was a part where it said that corporal punishment was used In students, and specifically it talked about bastinado being used In some part of India (obviously there wasn't any detail since it was a PG book)
But it caught my attention and I always remembered the name, so a few years later (I was just starting to get all hormonal) I search the word bastinado in Google and ten seconds later I was discovering the world of bdsm jaja.
I always think that is funny how little things can later become a huge part of your life, at least for me.
So later i discovered that bastinado was not really my thing but bdsm it is!

No Body​(dom male) • Apr 9, 2020

To be honest there are sides to me i am still working out. I am a Dom but I am so much more than just that. As to when Well that is kinda easy. I got on the inter net back in 99 and just started searching. I found a chat room that said adults only went in and a few hours later I was told I was a Dom.

I think I was born sexually submissive

girliegirl4U​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2020

I also had sexual fantasies before I knew about sex, well before puberty. When I was alone in the bathroom I imagined I was being sold for naked for my body, something like Arabian nights but I never had seen anything like that, then I would get in the tub and let the water hit my clit. Later in my teens I read ‘The Story of O’ and recalled my young bath fantasies of being sold naked for my body. I didn’t know way back then about Dominant and submissive but it definitely made up my sexual fantasies. Another decade later I was seeing a man and one day, with his business partner in the room, he told me to take me clothes off, I stripped so fast that even I was surprised and wondered why I stripped so quickly and without question. He told me to do things like bend over and touch my toes, do jumping jacks, I was loving it, then another friend showed up and I didn’t know him but there I was naked for him to see, three men and me naked of my own will totally turned on and willing to be there naked posing as they told me to. It wasn’t until much later that I went online and discovered the world of D/s and realized that I was born sexually submissive but my outward personality was the opposite. I now have been submissive but mostly a slave for sometime and feel like this is what I was always meant to be, I feel best when being told what to do sexually, serving a Master, giving my mind and body to be used by my Master.

Still figuring this out...

SubSuperHero​(switch male) • Apr 9, 2020

I have talked to a few women on here and based on my urges and personality I’m told I’m a switch. I have no evidence to the contrary, and the label seems to fit.

AKittenforSir​(sub female){JohnBond} • Apr 9, 2020

I always knew, although I didn’t have a title for it until I discovered erotic novels which then led me on an Internet scavenger hunt for like minded people and I ended up on Fet. That was an awakening for sure.

Sammi Babi UwU​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2020

I had a boyfriend when I was 15-16. He was a twisted individual and I loved it. I'd had a crush on him since 7th grade, when he walked down the school hall with his goth clothes and mowhawked hair. I'd struggled with an internal darkness I couldn't explain and his energy woke something inside me.

When we finally started dating, it was all lust and excitement. He introduced me to BDSM, though I didn't know what it was at the time. He was incredibly dominant and I couldn't help, but submit to him. He took everything slow and talked me through each step. Eventually, he would put a blind fold in me and pull out his "box of toys." That had razor blades, lighters, feathers, candles, etc... We never had intercourse, but everything else. It was always primal. He was a hunter, I was his prey. There was rock music on in the background. He'd set an entire mood before we'd begin. It was the twisted escape I needed. Looking back, I'm still unsure how a 16-17 year old boy knew everything he did, but I'm grateful for the exposure and how, even at a young age, he was able to keep me safe while enjoying the things that we did.